My sympathies and thoughts are with you. My fiancee’s brother took his life just over three weeks ago at the age of 21, 8 years after they both lost their younger brother to cancer at the age of 10 – it came as a complete shock as none of us had any idea that he was feeling this way. We had not long been on holiday with him and his mum, and he seemed his usual cheeky self. I’ve had the job of sorting out his computers (he was partially disabled and spent a lot of time online gaming) and found a suicide note that he emailed to himself, obviously knowing it would be found… 🙁
Having struggled with depression myself but never quite got to that point, I just feel a great sadness that he felt unable to talk to anyone about it, and that none of us knew how he was feeling. The only consolation is that he’s no longer in the terrible torment he must have been going through, but it doesn’t make picking up the pieces any easier.