In conjunction with just about every female I know Mrs Binners is doing Weightwatchers (or Fat Club, as she calls it), so I’m in with a fighting chance. She’s more willpower than me, so there will be stern looks if I weaken and suggest a takeaway.
She just posted up the following rules. I’m not sure they’re all applicable to this thread, but here goes…
Fat Club Rules:
1. You’ll wear the exact same clothes to weigh in every week – “I don’t care how nice my new jeans are, denim costs lbs and I ain’t sacrificing pizza all week only to have my weight loss sabotaged by some heavy fabric.”
2. Likewise, if you have had a bad week mainlining chocolate, you’ll spend an extra 10 minutes getting dressed in the morning trying to figure out which clothes weigh less. Yes it’s f#@king freezing and it’s the middle of January but I WILL wear that floaty chiffon beach dress that only weighs 100 grams.
3. There’s always someone called Sandra who’ll bore the crap out of everyone at group with a 20 minute sob story about how she’s put on 3lb because she ate 20 sausage rolls at her cousin’s wedding buffet, Again. STFU Sandra, keep it short and sweet, none of us have eaten before group and we’re getting hunger/angry.
4. You will not eat anything at all before weigh in… even if it’s at 7pm.
5. You’ll be furious at your own body because without fail every week, you need a big poo as soon as you get in from class. Hello bowels, i could have done with this help before I got on the scales!
6. There’s always someone in class called Karen who goes on 42 cruises a year.
7. You think the X Factor have good sob stories? Wait until you try and see someone justify putting on 2lbs at a WW class.
8. You will not be able to resist Instagramming your tea every night complete with point value – even though no one else knows wtf you’re on about and your culinary skills mean that although it tastes fit, it looks like cat sick.
9. You’ll have a speech prepared for when someone says, “Thought you were on a diet, should you be eating pasta?” – Well, ACTUALLY Dave…”
10. You’ve lost 3lbs, yessss! Time to celebrate with a chippy on the way home and a bottle of prosecco.
11. You will legit save all your weekly points and live on nothing but stir frys so you can down an entire bottle of wine on a Saturday night.
12. Points eaten during a hangover or from your fella’s plate don’t count.
13. Points you don’t record in your food diary don’t count
14. You’ve joined at least 3 times before and next time you join you just smile at the consultant like nothing ever happened and you totally didn’t ignore the 10 ‘U ok hun?’ texts she sent you last year.
15. Positive vibes only – never hate on anyone. Apart from that woman from group that actually LOST weight over xmas – the smug cow.
16. You did an internal fist pump when you found out Iceland started doing Slimming World ready meals. Because you was getting a bit sick of microwaving jacket potato and beans every day in the office canteen.
17. Every time mullerlight release a new flavour yoghurt you go out and buy 36 of them and get sick of eating them after 3 days.
18. You’re the only person you know who eats curly wurlys.
19. No count/ F&H chips save lives.
20. You’ll go out for a meal with all the best intentions but as soon as you’re 2 glasses of wine in, your mentality is ‘eat first, point later”.
21. Actually, your mentality is ‘eat first, point later” about most things. Don’t tell your consultant.
22. You keep swerving your consultant’s friend request on Facebook ‘cos you can’t be dealing with the guilt of her seeing pics of your Friday night Dominos feasts.
23. If it’s 1 point for half a pack of something, and 3 points for the whole pack then obviously if you eat the whole pack and have a little gap of at least 5 minutes between halves then it’s deffo only 2 points now.
24. Frylight is your best mate.
25. You’ve taken ‘unlimited wholewheat pasta’ as a personal all you can eat challenge at least once until you realise it’s ‘eat until you feel satisfied, not eat until you think you might pass out’
26. You’ll turn on healthy foods you once loved. Avocado you big fraud, you told me you were all ‘good fats’ but for 9 you can PISS OFF.
27. Due to the huge amounts of fruit and veg you’re eating you could probably legally declare yourself as a wind farm and solve the global energy crisis
.
28. The price of fruit and veg compared to a Maccies and KFC makes you fume and you realise you’ve turned into your mum.
29. There’s always one gang of women who always sit together in the same seats every week and you’re working up the courage to get to group early and sit there because you wanna see the shit hit the fan.
30. When you get asked to do the weigh ins or the raffle you know you’ve made it into the upper echelons of the groups’s social hierarchy.
31. You can’t figure out why chocolate bars are decreasing in size but the point values are staying the same.
32. There’s always a loud mouth in group who blames her weight gain on eating too many bananas.
33. You know exactly how many points are in every different alcohol without checking.
Group can sometimes feel like an AA session.
34. If you see a fellow member in the super market you automatically check their trolley contents on the sly.
35. If you see a fellow WW member eating out you automatically check their plate to see if they’ve chosen to be good or bad.
36. If you see your WW consultant whilst out for a meal or shopping you hide
