Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

But if you’re writing an email reminding people to get their Christmas meal choices in, it doesn’t need to be either of the above.

Woe betide any attempts to make such an endeavour fun eh?

Dry language only: BORING!!!!!

The 2 people at the local council recycling centre, whining at the guys working there, that they had to flatten their cardboard in order to get it in the skip. (There’s a skip-length opening in the fence only wide enough for flat stuff to get through.)

Woe betide any attempts to make such an endeavour fun eh?

You can still make messages and writing fun. No need to stop doing that. The ‘complaint’ is about over complexity in attempt to appear clever or profound.

The best (entertaining) email I read this week was a report of the interdept 5k race – simple language but put together brilliantly.

Cruelty to Vespas.

People who do that horrible gutteral sniff come phlegm noise.

Makes my skin crawl.

The person on this **** train that hasn’t yet realised the music isn’t coming out of their headphones!

People making me tea that squeeze the bag.
I know I should be grateful for my bitter, stewed cup of mouth-drying disappointment but sorry, that’s just not on.

See also not stirring in a stirring motion, but more of a clumsy agitation thereby producing no vortex, only tea froth.
🤮

Shouldn’t be allowed near a kettle.

Putting washing out on a windy day then finding that half of it has blown of the ^%£*ing line.

‘Craft’ decoration in the holiday let we’re staying at the moment.

I’m OK with the sheepshank, and the reef knot. But the other two are just plain wrong

People at work…just generally…🤬

Messages from HMRC. I get loads about joining in a webinar about property tax or company cars so I tended to ignore them. Then when there was an issue with my tax I got some messages, not telling me the issue, but telling me I had messages. Took me a while to stop ignoring them and log in to read them. Now I do log in and read them and they are back to being irrelevant to point that I may start ignoring them again! Today’s message (once I’ve logged in to read it) “You have a new tax statement”. Great lets have a look… no… “You’ll be able to view it online within 4 working days”!

We have a shopkeepers WhatsApp group.
I put the local PCSO on it so he could see what’s happening incognito.
He left the group this week because there was too much crime being reported.

Jet2. Not everything about Jet2 tho. If you’re going to be an environmental disaster then Jet2 are my chosen ruin-the-planet partner. They are mostly cheap, they fly from airports near where we live, seem to play at least some attention to the planned departure times (looking at you sleazyjet), planes are clean and they’ve even changed stuff for me without charging a £30 admin fee for two key presses.

BUT… and it’s a big BUT… their on line check in process is essentially a non navigable exit trapped between chargeable ‘essentials’ that I have absolutely no interest in. When you’ve asked me THREE times if I’m happy for you to allocate my seat, then it’s probably safe to assume I’ve seen and poo-poo’d your ‘offer’ of extra legroom, sitting together, being able to look out of the window, etc. And the same goes for cabin baggage, on board meals and the chance to play in-flight scrabble with the cabin crew.

If I’d wanted any of that stuff I’ve have paid for it when I booked the bloody thing. Finally after many rotations, I reached escape velocity and they allocated me 4 seats all next to each other. Which would have cost me £13 a seat had I succumbed in exhaustion to their repeated and increasingly desperate appeals for my hard earned.

I know this is not a big thing. Especially with all the other stuff going on. But honestly, I’m only asking for a locked room, edged weapons, the UX designer and a ‘last person standing’ scenario to get me over how annoyed it makes me

When there has been thunderstorms and the roads are flowing with water and there are big dubs on parts of the road and these tossers that don’t slow down as they may be driving an electric motor or don’t know how expensive a repair to their diesel if it sooks in water

No respect for pedestrians or other drivers slowing down

As soon as the Sun’s out,those people that take an Amp and Guitar to the park…GTF and busk at the train station ya roaster.

Today’s latest bullsh1t bingo work-based lingo: ‘drumbeat’. Referencing the comms that get sent out.

IVR systems.  They’re a boil on the bumcheek of humanity.

“After the tone, please state the reason for your call.” beep

“Prescription repeat.”

“I heard: ‘a Transylvanian traffic warden,’ is that correct?”

The ones operated by the keypad are almost as bad.  “Press ‘1’ for prescription requests,” [presses 1] “… press ‘2’ for appointments, press ‘3’ for… ” I wouldn’t mind quite so much if it actually did anything, but you’ll end up talking to Rachel on reception regardless of which options you choose. Then she answers the call with “how can I help?” so the process has tied you up for several minutes for absolutely no ****ing reason.

A pox on both their houses.

talking to Rachel on reception

Whose vocal range would put foghorns to shame, no doubt, particularly when repeating back sensitive information…or maybe that’s just our receptionists 🤷‍♂️

That reminds me, all our local taxi services seem to have the same system.

“Press 1 to book your taxi from [location]”

*beep*

“Press 1 to confirm your booking”

*beep*

“We are now putting you through to an operator”

Arrrgh. If you’re too busy for the auto system, just put me straight through to the operator without making me go through this pointless process.

My wife and I both got up out of bed at the same time this morning.

I have had a wash, got dressed, made a coffee, emptied the dish washer and cleaned up some stuff left dirty in kitchen from last night. Stripped and cleaned the BBQ, made breakfast, eaten breakfast, fed the cat, stroked the cat, read some of my book, made another coffee, vacuumed the downstairs, read some posts on here, posted on here.

She has had a shower.

But is still not dressed.

Maybe she’s hanging on in anticipation, at least the cat got a stroke

The person on this **** train that hasn’t yet realised the music isn’t coming out of their headphones!

Try dancing and miming along to it, optionally while staring at the offender.

As soon as the Sun’s out,those people that take an Amp and Guitar to the park…GTF and busk at the train station ya roaster.

Old people trying to use parking meters, particularly those around North Devon at the moment.

This bus stop really pisses me off. Every morning I ride towards it from this direction never knowing if a car will swing.round the bus.  There are two junctions that get fouled by a stopped bus and what idiot puts a crossing between a junction and a bus stop.  Oh and the junction at the lights should be a roundabout but….

Old people trying to use parking meters, particularly those around North Devon at the moment.

FTFY (Where di my strikeout button go?)

A clean and not dressed woman makes you cross? Wow, it’s been a long time since there’s been one of those in my house. That makes me cross.

“Admins, please delete if not allowed”

I know it shouldn’t but this properly boils my proverbial.  If you think a post might not be allowed, surely the polite thing to do is to ask first?  And if it isn’t, do you suppose that ‘admin’ requires your permission to remove it and/or you?

I think it’s the selfishness which pisses me off.  You know you’re doing something wrong but you’re going to do it anyway and are making lame excuses to justify it to yourself, like the “I’ll only be a minute” brigade parking in the disabled bay outside my house.

Also,

People for whom request for payment comes as a complete shock.

In Lidl this morning (yes, I know), the cashier threw someone’s annual shop through the till in nanoseconds and told her the price.  Then she had to find her card, which was in her wallet, which was inside a purse (no, me neither), which was in her handbag, which was at the bottom of a shopping bag, which was in Serbia.  ****’s sake, how can this be an alien process for a grown adult?  It’s not like they’ve suddenly asked if you have any ball bearings on you.

@winston 5 days & 8 posts ago (sorry, I’ve been otherwise occupied for a wee while)

Have you borrowed my wife while I wasn’t watching?

Have you borrowed my wife while I wasn’t watching?

It’s ok, she’s had a shower….

Our new kettle.

“Quickly boils one cup in less than 45 seconds”

That’s handy, Tower Cavaletto, but we’ll never know because the minimum water level marked on the kettle is 800ml, or about three cups!

That’s handy, Tower Cavaletto, but we’ll never know because the minimum water level marked on the kettle is 800ml, or about three cups!

I think that’s probably plausible deniability to prevent idiots boiling it dry. My kettle for example doesn’t have a ‘min’ on the outside, just 2 cups, 4 cups, 6 cups and ‘max’.

Inside though, is a silicone? depth guage for one cup, 2 cups and 3 cups:

And it’s only a cheap £25 kettle.  https://uk.russellhobbs.com/textures-plastic-kettle-black-21271

2 cups, 4 cups, 6 cups

Where a ‘cup’ is a measurement reserved for Downton Abbey and espresso drinkers, a close cousin of the thimbleful.

Shit kitchen gadgets that really should be simple can get to **** as well.  I was discussing this just yesterday with a mate who’s a chef, his kitchen spent £500 on an industrial toaster and it’s equally adept at puking out Star Wars Toast as something you’d get from Poundland.  It’s the epitome of “you had one job.”

Excess butter scraped back into the tub that’s 40% butter and 60% crumbs and assorted detritus.  I hate waste but it’s not the back end of WWII for gods’ sake.

Where a ‘cup’ is a measurement reserved for Downton Abbey and espresso drinkers, a close cousin of the thimbleful.

It’s the way the septics ‘measure’ stuff innit, everything done by archaic units of volume instead of weighing it.  See also tablespoons, fluid ounces and other units that wouldn’t have been out of place in a neolithic cookery class.  For a supposedly advanced nation, their reticence to use scales for a modicum of precision is surprising.  Nowt worse than searching online for a recipe and being told to add three furlongs of spaghetti and an egg cup of salt to a quart of boiling water or whatever.

Besides big globs of butter in the jam jar, todays bugbear are food companies who can replace the sugars in soft drinks with artificial ones, yet struggle to apply the same logic to chocolate, bread, soup, ready meals. (Pretty much every edible comestible).

Besides big globs of butter in the jam jar

See, I’d prefer butter in the jam to jam in the butter, because when do I ever use jam without butter?  But I appreciate, that logic renders my prior crossness moot.

It’s the way the septics ‘measure’ stuff innit

Sure.  But I didn’t think “cups” on a kettle water gauge were any sort of actual measurement beyond arbitrary numbers.  You’ve got me wondering now, I’ll check ours tomorrow if I remember.

But if you vomit at the mere sight of butter…

just to say, separate utensils for the jam and butter. All those factories in Sheffield weren’t just for decoration.

on a different tack. Pick any spot in the uk, and you’ll be baffled at some of the road ‘planning’.

This is a nasty curve, yet there’s designated car parking slots:

There’s even designated bus parking on both sides.

To put this in context, you’ve got a Morrisons supermarket on one side of the road, and a Lidls on the other. Each with generous car parking.

So why they need to incorporate extra car parking on a sketchy-ass and very busy road leaves me baffled.

Ài advert for car on eBay.
If the best you can do is create an advert that reads like a script from a Boratt movie, we have nothing to fear from ai.

BA. I check in on app, can see the boarding pass attached in flight booking section but it won’t download anything to boarding cards section. Keeps giving an error that it can’t confirm my check in status.

Get to airport, print a paper boarding pass from machine. Go to security and get stopped at the machine that checks you have a boarding pass, paper pass and app giving a “please see BA” message.

See BA person. After three tries she prints another paper pass. That fails on machine too, so get manually checked.

Get to gate. Pass won’t scan. And as I went through manual check my picture hasn’t been captured, which they check at gate. So they have to call someone to approve me getting on the plane.

Person arrives. I have to now prove that I’ve entered the airport from outside that day, and haven’t been living in the terminal. Or something.

Apparently my car park booking paperwork was sufficient, which made no sense.

Still, here I am in Edinburgh waiting for a very late taxi I booked 3 days ago to take me to Perth.