Snip snip!

Mine was a breeze

Got driven home afterwards, but would have been fine driving myself home.

Back to work the next day on my Brompton.

Worst bit was the endless samples I had to take in. I’m sure they do it just to pi55 us off!

Reminded me of this

http://bernardwrigley.bandcamp.com/track/vasectomy

Worst bit for me was submitting samples. Because it was deemed “non essential” I had my snip done out of area or face an 8 month wait. All was fine until I had to submit my post snip samples which had to go to an associated hospital within the health authority which did the op. The problem being, I live fractionally over the “submit within an hour” parameters they were looking for.
This meant having to have a Jodrell Bank outside the comfort of my own home. While I wasn’t really comfortable with the prospect of emerging triumphantly from the hospital gents with a post episode boner and a warm phial of jizz, the only other option was the back of my van (which thankfully is limo tinted). Having to hand the phial to an attractive technician and seeing the “Eugh its still warm!” expression on her face, is not the easiest thing to explain. Her subsequent realisation when she cross checked it against my address only clarified that it was fresh. They also have to ask when the sample was produced so when I’d reply “oh less than 10 minutes ago in the car park” always raised an eyebrow and much disapproval. Worse still was that it took a further excruciating six of these visits, until I was officially declared semi-skimmed!

Apparently in the US, they have developed a technique where they fit little clamps (like tiny little Klippits!) on the tubes instead of cutting them. Hope they hurry up and introduce that on the NHS, sounds far better!

redted 😀 😀

Hope they hurry up and introduce that on the NHS

We’d get the economy version;

I’m hoping they perfect this before I need one.

Prostate Tales sounds like the worst saturday morning cartoon ever.

Mine was fine, just a bit weird chatting as they cut’n’stitch your goolies.
Shaving till you’re left with a baby mole isn’t much fun either, not the cackling from the wife whilst doing so.

Sample time coming up, but they seem a bit more relaxed ‘just get it to the desk before 10:00’ .. not sure they’ve warned the desk..

Managed to pick up some horrible fluey stomach bug whilst there which actually did floor me a few days later. Never go to hospitals, full of sick people.

Oh, the joy of the high speed sample dash…

I’m getting this in a few weeks. Day before my shift starts (firefighter) so I don’t think I’ll be in for the days at least. Reading the “pleasant” tales above has made me slightly less confident and easy going about the whole thing.

Prostate Tales sounds like the worst saturday morning cartoon ever.

It is!

The team are all matter of fact. The registrar/consultant had a firm approach to the manual prostate check. He was cleaning his hands before I had got my trousers back on!

The houseman in Urology was a very pleasant looking young lady of Asian descent ably assisted by two long-term nursing women. Face the wall Sandwich we’re just going to insert the long ultrasound probe where the sun don’t shine. Now the anaesthetic. This is the sound the biopsy needle makes as it does it’s thing (industrial upholstery staple gun type noise). We’ll just take the 12 samples, no.6 went into a bit with all the pain receptors still firing.

All done and sit up. Leak blood from your maps eye!! OMFG what are those hideous things (net underwear, disposable) and the largest sanitary pad I have ever seen, no wings mind (I felt cheated). Just wear this for the next 6 hours. I didn’t feel like sky-diving or roller-skating with my new fashion garb.

Don’t forget to take the antibiotics to stop infections we have just perforated your rectum 12 times which is not the cleanest part of you. You’ll also pass blood in both urine and ejaculate for up to 6 weeks (strawberry shake anyone?).

By comparison the snip was a doddle.

I have to go back for another biopsy soon this one is under general and involves a big needle through the taint (perineum) with your legs in stirrups (yeehaw, ride ’em cowboy). I get to have a week off work to recover too. Lucky me.

Toughen up lightweights 😛
I rode my trail bike(650 single) 35 miles to the hospital appointment as the local place had a long waiting list. Nobody told me about taking shoes ,so I walked up to the table in the backless gown and a pair of MX boots(imagine Mad Max going for the snip) 😉 .
While the Op was going on I had a laugh with the surgeon and nurses about house bricks being clapped together,and was all the shaving really needed,it all went fine,no big deal.
Out the building ,back on the bike and down the road ,all good.
No bruising, no issues ,and not much pain after the meds wore off.
But ..a week later I stood up on a desk at work to open a window and for some crazy reason ,jumped back down to the floor 😯 oh lordy,that was not a smart move 😥 🙂

Toughen up lightweights

One of the nurses said she’d recently had someone ride their bike in and back about 10 miles. She did use the adjective ‘dickhead’ though 😀

I hope the OP isn’t local to me as his vas will be in a pot on my work bench when I get back from lunch

Was grand for me. 6 weeks min off the bike was the hardest part.

“baby mole” 😆

La la la not listening. 😯

Shame one of the posters on here didn’t have the snip before having children seeing as he cant be bothered paying maintenance for them

Taddy Wrangler eh R D?

Harry_the_Spider – Member
Oh, the joy of the high speed sample dash…

Not needed as they aren’t looking for motility (that’s a fertility issue) just presence of sperm, doesn’t matter if they are dead or not. If they are present in your semen sample the procedure hasn’t worked.

Not telling my tale again, other than it obviously differs by clinic whether you need to be shaved or not. I didn’t need to be.

My mate is a particularly hairy – like Chewbacca in a wig factory – and before he had his, another mate forged a letter from the hospital telling him he needed to have shaved and washed the immediate area before going in. Apparently the surgical team nearly pissed themselves laughing when he stripped off to reveal his unChewbaccanaccas looking like a deforested compound has been carved out of virgin rainforest. And then again when he produced the letter and they all realised what had happened.

Oh and mine was a piece of piss

Even when the anaesthetic wore off during it didn’t t hurt (felt like someone flicked me ball)

Miss Houns was in there with me and stepped in to help when the nurse on duty went off out

I skipped out of the room and could easily rode my bike after

Just back from chat with the surgeon prior to mine, apparently there has been a cancellation so I’m booked in for next week, rather quicker than expected but good to get it done.

No shaving beforehand required apparently but i’m rather concerned that the stats for ‘failure'( tubes rejoining of their own accord) are quite high I thought, 1 in 2000, and the only way you find out is when your wife gets pregnant!

Not needed as they aren’t looking for motility (that’s a fertility issue) just presence of sperm, doesn’t matter if they are dead or not. If they are present in your semen sample the procedure hasn’t worked.

See this really confuses me, having seen the results of the op. They’re not messing about, they take an inch or two of pipework out and then burn the ends shut, how the heck are sperm going to get around that? And yet they quote a 1/2000 failure rate. Do the surgeons just get distracted half way through and forget to do the second ball or something?

[Edit: mangoridebike, is that right, the tubes rejoin? Blimey.]

rOcKeTdOg I’m in Huddersfield. What the **** do you do with people’s second-hand vas anyway?

What the **** do you do with people’s second-hand vas anyway?

Post lunch snack by the sound of it.

wwaswas – Member
What the **** do you do with people’s second-hand vas anyway?

Post lunch snack by the sound of it.

Naah…the answer is here.

Everything was going fine, chatty nurse talking rubbish to keep my mind off what was happening etc. when he then tried a “sample cut” to make sure the anaesthetic had kicked in – it hadn’t..
The next couple of days were uncomfortable to say the least. I then went back to the doc when things hadn’t quite “healed”, showed him the wound and his reaction was just “Oooh, now that looks painful!”
Another week off work, and the infection had died down. Made slightly more bearable by the purchase of GTA4 which I hammered

I can still remember the look on the surgeons face as he stood over me holding the anesthetic syringe -“you might feel a small prick” I said to him. Anyway he wasn’t laughing when I goose stepped into his face as he rummaged around in side a bit too vigourously.

They don’t seem to use stiches these days,I was just to told to “pinch it together”. We’ll that didn’t work, my other half found it hilarious when I asked where she kept her panty pads :-). It only wept for a couple of days and no pain to speak of. Root canal filing was far worse.

rOcKeTdOg I’m in Huddersfield. What the **** do you do with people’s second-hand vas anyway?

Look at them under the microscope to make sure they are actually Vas, coz if ur other half gets pregnant post op you can’t say & sue the NHS for not getting the right tube to cover your OHs infidelity embarrassment (it used to happen!) Other trust might not routinely do this

Look at them under the microscope to make sure they are actually Vas

Ah right, fair enough. Ever caught them sending in the wrong bits?

They don’t seem to use stiches these days

Yeah, the surgeon was discussing that with the nurses, he thought it was a daft idea, so I’ve been put back together with good old fashioned stitches.

SNAP ,AND SNIP.
sitting on my sofa recovering from this morning’s op.

No too bad so far, did need a top up on the anaesthetic which I brought to their attention with a bit of a shout.
Nurses wouldn’t stop talking throughout, quite funny really, I asked them what topics they had on their list to keep my mind off it. Not as bad as I thought it would be.

What the **** do you do with people’s second-hand vas anyway?

Never had a Pot Noodle?

Glad Yours went well…..I got electrocuted Twice!!! Told the daft surgeon I had pins in my ankle…..ok ok no problems he said.. and well the right side went fine but as soon as he touched the left I must of been two foot of the table in agony….stuck some more drugs in and bang…electrocuted again…was about to jack it in but for some reason let him give me a 3rd lot of drugs and it was over in seconds….all good now lol

typing pretty well for someone who had been electrocuted…

I wondered why I had to lie on an earthing pad

Pah!, try suffering with acute epididymitis. Wonderful complaint with seemingly no end, not helped by useless NHS …………….

Just whip ’em off?

Pah!, try suffering with acute epididymitis. Wonderful complaint with seemingly no end, not helped by useless NHS …………….

Caused by the snip….?

Unfortunately for me, my fear reflex meant that after trying for 45 mins of trying to catch and clamp my blx, the Dr said “No, this is not going to work. I’m going to refer you to get this done under general”. So, the snip was not an issue.

The post op samples were though. I live a fair bit away from the hospital and had to provide warm samples. Have you ever tried to crack one out in the toilets in the gym at work when Josie the cleaner knocks on the door to check if anyone is there. Now, I’ve never had an issue having a Sherman before, but this time I did!

Got myself overly worried by the Liver biopsy, but it was not an issue. Flexible uroscopy – nurse holding my hand said “Don’t worry, they all shrink like that”. Picolax followed by the camera round to the small bowel was not an issue. Must say I am not looking forward to the prostrate biopsy……

SNAP ,AND SNIP.

*gingerly high-fives surroundedbyhills*

Well the anaesthetic and painkillers have worn off, bit achey but otherwise fine. Only problem is this weird headgear they gave me for some reason…