Sexism on STW (a goodbye and some thanks :) )

There was one of those threads last night on the forum, now fortunately removed. A few of the comments about women, and trying to justify these as ‘jokes’ about what to do to women, were particularly unpleasant in the end. Unfortunately they were nothing new, and I’ve heard them before on hear, and as a result I’m just going to take some time out from this forum.

I’ve posted this for a few reasons. Not to repeat the comments which were said, (nor to have a ‘flounce’ 😉 ), but firstly to say thanks to a few people. Emsz (especially for having the guts to say it as it is), CG, TJ, Elf, Ernie, and CaptainFlashHeart (who apparently came in at the end). Thanks guys and girls for the support and for speaking out. Secondly to say thanks to the moderators of STW (most of whom I know are good guys anyway!) – the thread was removed really quickly, despite the late hour. You guys have a thankless task most of the time, so just to let you know that your intervention is much appreciated.

And also a bit of an explanation as to why I’ve now had enough. Last night’s thread was a particularly bad example, but there is a pervasive sexism that runs through STW. It’s only from a minority (and most of you guys and girls are great) but it is a constant drip, drip, drip of minor issues. For example, just over the last few days there’s been some pretty sexist responses to a guy who asked about kissing his friend, and several threads that only refer to women based on how they look.

The moderators have been great and are constantly closing down on these threads, but its a bit like trying to control a pernacious weed, new threads just continually sprout up. And I am tired of coming across them. Yes, I could challenge some of the posters, but having previously had a ‘it’s her time of the month’ response, I’m increasingly reluctant to do so.

I rarely walk away from things I that I think are discriminatory, as I think the only way to address them is to speak out. But I come on here for some time out, to laugh, have an occassional rant, and pick up answers to every possible question under the sun 🙂 But guys, please can we stop with the sexism? It’s not ‘lads banter’, and it’s not neccessary. It’s still possible to have fun, banter, and humour without objectifying women.

Anyway, I have said enough. And as above, my thanks to those who have spoken out and supported me and emsz last night, and to the mod’s closing inappropriate threads down.

Have fun peeps, and remember to ride your bikes now and again 🙂

Edit – and as per usual I still manage to post on the wrong forum!

Thats a real shame. Sorry to see you go Sue.

Well said Sue: I agree with you completely that the drip-drip of sexism (and homophobia) on the forum can be very alienating indeed. I’m sorry that you feel the need to walk away from the forum though.

Sorry to see you go as well.

I can understand your frustration. Its gets to me sometimes the casual misogyny that is accepted by some on here.

I have in the past made a fuss about it and got flamed badly for it so I can see why you feel as you do

never say never tho. have a break and return

mad middle aged men, mad middle aged women.

You might have a point – some of it is pretty horrid, but how do you cope in life outside of STW where simply withdrawing your participation isn’t an option?

Well, I’m sorry you’re going. Some of the sexist stuff casually posted on here and passed off as “humour” is quite extraordinary sometimes. There’s always plenty of moaning about the modding but I think they’re often far too tolerant.

Come back (eventually).

Boo bloody hiss! That’s rubbish 🙁

Don’t let the idiots win though. Stick around. Some of us are sane*

* This isn’t strictly true, but our insanity doesn’t take the form of sexism or misogyny

🙁
See you out on the trail one day.

I also forgot to say that I too think there are issues on here, not just the sexism – the thread about a present for a 13 year old sums it up.

What a shame 🙁

There will always be stupid people. You don’t stop going to the pub because there are a couple of stupid people there, so why cut yourself off from here? Basically, all I’m saying is that the forum represents the real world so it’s hardly suprising that it happens. Unacceptable but expected.

IME, people like that tend to get challenged pretty quickly. Annoying, yes, same as some of the ‘big hitters’ that ruin almost every thread they post on but overall, the STW forum is still a great place.

I’ve cleaned up 3 posts on this thread already.. That’s my limit.. the next posts I have to ‘clean’ will be accompanied by a 2 day ban

And a shame that even on this thread, people feel the need to post their pathetic attempts at ‘humour’ directed at the OP. Hope you’re back soon Sue_W.

Edit: I’d only spotted one of the three posts Mark mentioned. Thanks for your work Mark.

Mark – Resident Grumpy

I’ve cleaned up 3 posts on this thread already.. That’s my limit.. the next posts I have to ‘clean’ will be accompanied by a 2 day ban

The marriage one remains intact though…

Does this make me a grass?

Goodbye Sue, you will be missed. Enjoy riding your bike. There are lots of good people on here, there are also lots of 12 year olds, if not in age in attitude.

Sorry to see you go, and whilst I fully understand your reasons I don’t think abandonment is the best approach.

I prefer just to ignore the people that I find unpleasant. There are only about half a dozen people on ‘the list’ but when they crop up on a thread I either ignore their contribution or if they are particularly prominent the whole thread.

Hopefully you’ll be back in the future.

It s really sad that you feel the need to take time away or even leave the forum, surely sense would dictate that the offenders should be the ones being given the boot.

I didnt see the thread, I dont know you and it isnt any of my business, but i dont agree with your decision.

By doing this you are letting the purile and the ignorant carry on in the beleif that they are not accountable for their stupidity.

When the French voters became apathetic in the early millenium Le Pen gained a (thankfully short) foothold.

You need to stay and instead make a huge song and dance the moment you see any of that nonsense raising its ugly head and the rest of us must rally behind you.

When the French voters became apathetic in the early millenium Le Pen gained a (thankfully short) foothold.

Yeah, listen to this. If you leave, fascism wins. It’s that simple.

I think STW will poorer without your input. Selfishly, why should I lose out because of some idiots? 🙁

Dont leave Sue, stay and flame ’em! .. and if you really do have to go.. dont be too long 🙂

Sugdenr, spot on sir! ( or madam! 🙂 )

Not saying it’s right or acceptable, but having never been on a ‘predominantly women’ forum, does sexism happen the other way on those forums?
Probably not, but just wondering?

I didn’t see the thread in question, unless it was the Jessica Ennis one that got closed, but it is bad that you feel you have to leave as a result of it.

What actually happened on my thread last night?

The topic was Forum v’s RealLife for those that don’t know.

Jessica Ennis one – if so that was me. Sorry if it upset.

Bye Sue, and it’s a real shame you feel you need to leave. To the folks suggesting she should face up to the problem – I think Sue made it clear in her initial post that she feels any attempts to do so are futile and laughed at.

It’s an internet forum. If I didn’t like it I wouldn’t use it either.

I often see posts on this website which I don’t like. On the other hand, generally I like the helpful nature and friendly banter.

There is a choice, I choose not to contribute to or even read the rubbish. The forum covers so many age groups that it’s not easy to tell who’s coming out with some stuff.

I just let it pass, and go on my weary way. Tomorrow is just another day.

(there’s a song in there somewhere)

I’ve given up on responding to those threads tbh. You know they’re only ever going to end one way. Sorry if you’re upset. But you shouldn’t leave. Hopefully this thread will be yet ANOTHER wake up call to the Mods and their failure to continue to address this while apparently the word “****” (rhymes with deck, starts with “f”) is somehow naughty. 🙄

Sorry to see you go Sue. I posted a photo on here to contribute to a thread, some posters just made responses on the attractiveness (or in thier opinion lack of it) of the girl in the photo, who happens to be a friend. It’s just the way this forum is sometimes. Despite the mods and the majority of the posters who are decent people threads can go the ‘lads banter way’ which is a shame, I hope that you return, if not enjoy your riding and keep well.

Edit – and as per usual I still manage to post on the wrong forum!

No you didn’t Sue, because I wouldn’t have spotted it if it had been posted in chat (I guess I mercifully also avoided the closed thread). I deleted my stw forum bookmark and homepage at the beginning of this week for similar reasons. The chat forum in particular seems to be peppered with smart @r$e ‘look at me’ comments, many of which verge on cyber-bullying, although as the recent full-face/body armour thread shows, bike chat is not immune either. Shame, as there are still many helpful, friendly posters on here. Live and let ride, eh?

Take care . . . and see you in the Bike Forum 😉

Edit: Oh, I see it’s been moved now 😕

It’s a shame to see you go, but really, why leave?

If you don’t agree or find it funny, then say so

Everybody else on here doesn’t have any problems in saying whats on their mind

There will always be people with different views and sense of humour to your own

I personally subscribe to freedom of speech. If someone wants to be sexist, racist, homophobic, ageist then it’s their choice. Me being on the same forum as them doesn’t mean I agree or condone any of it

I used to come here a lot, and have reduced my visits for the very same reason OP.
In favour of the mods, they removed a post I reported almost immediately – it was of a sexual nature.
Sorry you’re going, I always read your posts when I do drop in.

There will always be people with different views and sense of humour to your own

I personally subscribe to freedom of speech. If someone wants to be sexist, racist, homophobic, ageist then it’s their choice. Me being on the same forum as them doesn’t mean I agree or condone any of it

Agreed, but I wouldn’t want to sit at the same table as them in the pub either. Cheerio!

Well said jools182.

If people stopped posting humorous stuff for fear of offending, this site would be very dull.

Freedom of speech indeed – you have that – but not on here. the rules are clear.

You want to be able to post sexist stuff – go to a forum that allows it

Sexist banter is not amusing to a great many of us – nothing to do with not haveing a sense of humour – everything to do with hating to see prejudice aired

Shame.

I personally subscribe to freedom of speech. If someone wants to be sexist, racist, homophobic, ageist then it’s their choice. Me being on the same forum as them doesn’t mean I agree or condone any of it

Fine. Then start your own forum. This is STW and this is their house, their rules.

If people stopped posting humorous stuff for fear of offending, this site would be very dull.

Lots of humorous stuff here without having to drop into the gutter…

Blimey – what was this thread?

I didn’t look at that thread because I thought it probably wouldn’t be my sort of thing.

I really don’t agree with this though…

there is a pervasive sexism that runs through STW

For a very male-dominated forum, I think STW is a pretty well-adjusted place most of the time.

A few of the comments about women, and trying to justify these as ‘jokes’ about what to do to women, were particularly unpleasant in the end. Unfortunately they were nothing new, and I’ve heard them before on hear, and as a result I’m just going to take some time out from this forum.

I deleted my stw forum bookmark and homepage at the beginning of this week for similar reasons

I used to come here a lot, and have reduced my visits for the very same reason OP.

What a shame.