oooooooooouuuuccchh.

Bit my lip 🙁

Pinched my finger closing a padlock yesterday. 😥

Almost as bad as biting the inside of your cheek while chewing – it’s still sore now. Thanks for asking 😆

Stubbed my toe on the bed this morning. 🙁

My wife said I was looking a tad portly this morning 😥

I just bit the bit that I bit again. Aaghyabastard

My wife said I was looking a tad portly this morning

Do you know, we made a rare foray to church last Sunday, on the way out the vicar said of my wife “she’s looking after you, isn’t she?” So even the mouthpiece of God thinks I’m a fatty. 🙁

Paper cut on tongue from licking rubbish cheap envelopes in work 🙁 ouchy ouchy

I’ve got some celery stuck in my teeth.

Managed to fall out of bed yesterday when getting up thanks to a sleepy leg

Not one of my prouder moments

I need a wee

Gouged a hole in my knuckle on my toolbox yesterday. My knuckles are always getting holed on something- why do they bleed so much?

Offspring said, “Daddy, when you were a young man…”

I got bitten on the ear by an ant a few weeks ago, it really hurt and I let my wife know how much it hurt….. for about 2 hours

she had just fallen over, nearly rolled of a clif and scrapped and bruised both legs

apparently an ant bite isn’t comparable 🙂

I dropped my laptop charger on my toe this morning. It hurt so much I had to have a lie down.

Last week, sliding a LARGE paving slab onto the top of a wheelbarrow I caught the skin on the top of my thigh between slab and barrow.

Also that week. Carrying a piece of flat pack furniture to the checkout in Ikea my right hand slipped off the end of it causing the item to pivot on my left hand and whack me on the ear.

nail hook on the side of my thumb nail that I bit has pulled off a bit too much, now I’ve a bleeding gash that hurts like a hurty thing

still haven’t been

went out of the office, automatically wnet for a coffee and then came back

now I need a wee and I’ve got another coffee to drink

😥

I have TWO! blisters on my hand from screwing together a shed yesterday

Working from home and was about to go to the loo when my phone rang, turned round quickly and kicked the door frame with my little toe and bare foot.

The dog had a thorn in his paw on his walk this afternoon. I’m having a lie down in sympathy

Knocked a cast iron candle stand onto my foot last weekend, hurt lots, & had no obvious way to relieve my annoyance (luck the stipe didn’t impale my foot)

strand of brake cable under my fingernail when fettling with the commuter bikes brake. Went right up there

Spilled some petrol in my eye.

my girlfriend got some fresh chilli in her eyes the other evening.. I was reminded of this

NSFW

I need a wee

the wee u is better 😀

i’ll shut up now 😳