Online dating help…

Five pounds* to whoever outs DezB on the fishy dater website

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*might not be genuine

Ah you sod!

x = cute
xx = lil bit crazy
xxx = likes nights in with a DVD

Are you Donald 54 from Epsom?

she’s replying really quick and now I’m getting “xx” at the end.. wassat mean?

xx is the anger level and she hates you and wants you to stop messaging her

xx could also mean she likes Coldplay.

Do you think she likes JLS? If she mentions them, forward the message on to me and I’ll pen your reply. More than happy to help. 🙂

Five pounds* to whoever outs DezB on the fishy dater website

Gift is fine thanks.

Pleeeeeeeaaaaase ask her what music she likes.

And then tell us.

this has got inbetweeners car wreck written all over it 😉

Kasabian..
And, right, this is the best thing.. she doesn’t even mention:
-going out
-nights in with a dvd

do you know any dirty jokes ?

Tell her if you rub yourself on a 650b it comes alive.

Nope. Why do you think I posted on here?

xx = Likes to cuddle up with a Galaxy bar.

She only likes Kasabian?

bit late now but….[/url]

Thats the only name I’ve got out of her. Keeps chatting but its blood out of a stone. Bloody Iphones!

XX is her dress size.

XX means SRAM not Shimano, surely?

Nice one Klunk… got as far as
Tip #1: Stare at her softly. (Setting The Stage)

I’ve Been staring alright

just cut to the chase and send her a pic of your junk

What DezB needs to impress is a DIY Prince Albert

What shall I say?

If you haven’t already, ask her about her preferences re bathroom floor coverings and crystals

Hmm, not sure about that. Definitely some issues there, but… hot. Oh yes 🙂

Bit like me really (minus the issues)

well after someone bending my ear about what a great thing online dating is getting, all i can pay is thank you for correcting me . sounds like an absolute nightmare!

I think its a pain in the arse if you’re normal/desparate/ugly

Likes swimming, grapes and Take That.

I’m guessing you aren’t in the normally desperate and ugly category dezb , but it sounds like hard works even having a conversation. . .

Dislikes outdoor sports, camping and dark chocolate.

To be fair to okcupid, the girlfriend was found on there. And she’s reasonably normal.

Aside from all the sheep fleeces. Doesn’t even have (that much of) a moustache.

Likes natural fibres, onesies and Milk Tray.

I’m guessing you aren’t in the normally desperate and ugly category dezb , but it sounds like hard works even having a conversation. . .

Yeah, I’ve given up on a few tht were just too boring to bother. Worth a try with this one though, local and.. well you know 🙂

DD. Fancy a chat sometime? You seem like my type.

I think Burt is the least of your worries, TBH

Yep…

…strangest.

(Likes days on the beach, rain on the window and Ferrero Rocher.)

Likes natural fibres, onesies and Milk Tray.

I wouldn’t mind if the sheep fleeces had been washed. There’s a bin bag full of the poo bits in the garage, bit smelly.

*wonders how it went?

And, right, this is the best thing.. she doesn’t even mention:
-going out
-nights in with a dvd

the first one understandable the second maybe they dont allow dvds in prison anymore

Lie a lot during the early stages of internet flirting

She’ll be doing exactly the same

Then, when you first go to meet her and this 17st mamma walks in, you can run for the hills without an ounce of guilt 🙂

Dez do you need rescuing ?