Subscribe now and choose from over 30 free gifts worth up to £49 - Plus get £25 to spend in our shop
Hi
As many of you know, 4 years ago my husband Julian (known as J) lost his arm to osteosarcoma but he fought back and got fit again and with the help and support form so many people, including many of you on here, he got back on his bike and was riding better than ever before.
Back in June last year, the cancer came back in his lung and again, he fought back and afer having 2/3 of one lung removed, he was getting back on his bike only to find out in April that it had come back, yet again.
Therefore, it is with unbelievable sadness that I am letting you know that he finally lost his brave fight on Saturday morning after a very quick final skirmish.
I am not sure how appropriate it is to make thia announcement here but I do know a few of you had followed his story over the years so I just wanted to give you a bit of 'closure', if you like.
I am numb at the moment, I feel like part of me died with him and after 20 years together it is going to be very strange being on my own. Although I know there are so many out there sending their love that I am not alone, really...
T
T - thoughts with you and those close to you.
Very sad news. Anything I can think of saying seems inadequate at a time like this. All I can say is my thoughts are with you.
RIP Julian.
Terribly sad news. I'd not commented on the previous threads but I had followed them and have nothing but admiration for the way both of you handled the situation in which you found yourselves. Not much I can say other than I am genuinely sorry for your loss.
A very sad news.
R.I.P. Julian.
My thoughts are with you, do whatever you need to do to greeve but don't do it alone. Surround yourself with people and remember the good times.
Very sad news, top guy, I hope you can find happiness again soon. x
Really sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you and your family. RIP Julian.
Very sorry to hear, thoughts are with you and family.
Happy Trails J.
Ride in Peace..
Followed your threads on here over the last few years and always found them humbling & inspirational. My thoughts are with you.
Very sad to hear. Deepest condolences to you and loved ones
retro+1
Sad, sad news 🙁
sounds like he put up a good fight
I am very sad to hear of your loss
thats news terrible,
id not followed his story but he sounds incredibly strong to keep on biking through all of that!
hugs to you and the family
Julians memories will live on forever,and not be forgotton.
RIP fellow cyclist.
Retro +2
🙁
What a man. You must be very proud. RIP
Best wishes mate.
Very sad news. 😥
Really sad news. My condolences.
Rachel
Go cycling and think of him often.
Best Wishes to you.
Go cycling and think of him often.
Agree and RIP. Remember the goodtimes.
Condolences to you and yours on what is, indeed, terrible news. I'm sure his story inspired and gave hope to lots of people. 🙁
Bloody hell. How very sad.
True love never dies. Let it sing in your heart forever.
sad to hear this, not sure what to say beyond he'll always be with you in your head and heart.
He sounds really inspiring, my thoughts are with you.
RIP.
Remember the good times. Celebrate the life he lived as well as he cold
T - so very, very sorry to hear this. I followed your story and thought how courageous Julian was.
We're all here for you, maybe we could get together for a remembrance ride to celebrate his life.
Bunnyhop x
[i]True love never dies. Let it sing in your heart forever.[/i]
this x a million.
that's lovely ourmaninthenorth.
F*** the appropriateness, thank you for letting us know.
Those threads symbolised to me what STW can be on a good day.
I know nothing can be said that will help.
Take care. Be strong.
mh x
Unfortunately I never met Julian, or heard of his fight, but the spirit of the man is obvious from your post.
Very sad for your loss & wishing you the very best for the future.
G
Such sad news, my thoughts are with you and Js friends and family.
I'm sorry to hear your news, you will be in our thoughts
7
Very moving and at the same time inspirational - I am sure I speak for many when I say our thoughts are with you.
In what seems like a long time ago I was in a fairly sticky situation. Having been diagnosed with a rare incurable cancer, I felt isolated, alone and desperate. I started posting from the start on STW as a way of recording my experiences - to this day I have never read the thread back; I don't have the courage, truth be told. But one day, early into the process, a lady emailed me with a story about her husband - a man who had been struck down by the same cancer, sarcoma - with an offer of friendship, advice and hope.
That lady was Trudi.
I could go into extensive detail about the friendship that has evolved from that initial contact. I could tell you how important they have been to my wife and I. How during the fear and terror, they offered a hope for a future. How J taught me that it was okay to be scared, but not to let the fear rule your life. In my dark days of chemo, having been given a short time to live, the thought of his support, his heroic success at getting back on the bike and his 'will-do' attitude were the principal reasons for getting back on a bike and riding. If a hill was too steep, I would goad myself with visions of a man with one arm succeeding, and it would always spur me on.
J was my hero, genuinely. He taught me about courage in the face of impossible odds, and how that could be used to encourage other people in a similar position to fight and survive. I don't think I would be here today if it hadn't been for him and his wonderful, magnificent wife.
If you see me at a race this year wearing a Team Bullheart jersey, stop me and ask me about Julian Materna, one of the original members of our shonky bunch. I will gladly regale stories about a magnificent friend who helped save my life, and I will probably weep whilst doing so, but I make no apologies for that, and feel no shame in doing so.
I love you J. Thanks for helping light my way.
Sad news.
J, for what little they are worth, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours.
Rest in peace....
gutted.
condolences go without saying but really feel free to vent or let loose on here as there's lots of support for you.
I am very moved and saddened to read of your loss. I offer my condolences and prayers for this brave man and for you.
So sorry to hear that. Thank you for letting us know. I wish there was something I could do or say that would help in any way.
I'm so sorry to read of this. I have followed J's journey and enjoyed the humility and honesty of it and now to read this. I dunno what to say except I am so sorry for your loss and hope that when the sun (eventually) shines you can feel the heat on your face and remember the good times.
RIP
Bugger! RIP. 🙁
I'm tempted to say what a sad situation but what an incredibly brave man. A few years ago me and a bunch of my friends were passed on the red climb at Glentress by a one-armed cyclist who had a hook on the end of his prosthetic arm and this was hooked around his bars. We were totally in awe of him and still regularly talk about him to this day.
Happy Trails J, deepest sympathy T, happy memories never die.
I an very sad. Stay brave, and stay loving him Trudi.
I remember following yours and Julians story on here Trudi. Both of you are clearly fighters, keep staying that way. RIP Julian.
Rockitman + 1
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dear Trudi - I have quietly followed your posts about Julian over the last while, thinking all the time how brave both you and he are. I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, I can only wish you all strength in the knowledge that you are not alone in grieving for him, the posts above only show what a high regard he was held in by all around. RIP
Thank you all for your lovely messages. I feel so proud of him when I read stuff like this (but you know that anyway) and I feel lucky to have been with such a remarkable man, even though it was for not nearly long enough.
I am going to miss him more than I can imagine but once everything has calmed down here, I think I am going to travel for a bit and visit some of his favourite cycling and climbing places and just remember the good times.
I was in a very similar situation to Bullheart when in 2009 I was diagnosed with Skin Cancer & I was sitting alone at home after having a second op to remove another chuck of skin breaking down in tears convinced I was going to die when I noticed a post by TN about her husbands fight against Cancer & getting back on the bike.
We managed to get in touch & both T & J gave me advice, comfort & support and made me realise that the dark thoughts were all part of the journey I was going through. I too owe them both a huge debt which I will never be able to adequately repay. I was a very scared & lost soul who they helped get back in touch with reality.
We continued our friendship & I was very pleased when J & T came to Cornwall for a holiday. I was able to thank them in person for their help & support during my darkest hour. My most treasured memory was the day we all went riding on Dartmoor & I was able to show them round my 'patch'. To say that J was a legend is not an understatement, to ride that route with only one arm was outstanding & very humbling.
South Hessary Tor
Jobbers Road
Me & the Man himself
I am very heavy hearted that a very special friend has gone far too soon.
On the day he died I wrote this as my tribute to a fantastic man, husband & friend:
Today you fell asleep & God took you to be his newest star in the Sky. Pain free at long last & no more fighting that devil within. Sleep well my friend until we meet again. RIP.
Sad news. I'm sorry I never got the chance to meet him although I've followed his inspirational story on here. He was a truly great man. My condolences to his family and friends. RIP.
So sorry to hear such sad news. RIP
Surfer
Trudi. I followed your posts and feel a deep admiration for you and am humbled by the love and honesty shown here. Take your time on your journey; carry our thoughts with you.
I have followed your posts and was hoping to meet you both as part of Team Bullheart at mayhem last year but never did. Very sad to hear the news of J's passing. He always sounded like a truly good guy. My thoughts are with you.
Ride In Peace J. You will live on in many hearts.
Very sad news - thoughts are with you.
I am very sorry to here this. I had heard of your husband as well and had been impressed with his tenacity. Despite the indifference of the universe we humans still have the ability to care for each other. To face the blows of fate with warm stoicism in a cold world.
Take care and be strong.
So sorry to hear this. I remember reading about Julian from your posts on UKC over the years, and always found both your attitudes very inspirational.
Sad news. Just seen Ed Douglas' piece on the BMC website: www.thebmc.co.uk/julian-maternas-last-ride
So sorry to hear, I don't know what to say. Best wishes for the future x
Steve, I'd just come back to post that same link, so thank you.
There is a link in the article to a blog J used to write for a website called My Name Is Not Cancer which, if you have a bit of time, I'd love if you'd have a look. For a bloke who reckoned he had no writkng skills I think he wrote brilliantly.
Am having an okay day today - bawling my eyes out reading the many cards that keep arriving, but in a 'nice' way.
I can't believe how many lives it appears he touched, I really can't.
I feel so proud.
I'm so sad to hear this. There's going to be a pretty decent group ride going on on the other side with some of the folks that have left us recently. Thoughts to the friends and families of them all.
Lost my wife to the same terrible illness.
10 years on and believe me times really do get better.
Now I’m not religious at all, not a bit. But have always thought of Vicars and the like to be generally knowledgeable people.
At the funeral I said to the Vicar ''this is something I don’t think I can get over'' .
He's reply was very abrupt I thought at the time, he said ''you wont get over it, but eventually you will learn to get on with it''
It was a good few years before I realised exactly what he meant and although it was no comfort then it is now...its almost as if you are allowed to get on with it. I know my wife would have wanted me to and I’m sure your man had the same view.
So.. small steps but make sure you going forward. Tomorrow will be better than today and so-on...
Good luck.
Same as all the others, very sad news indeed. Best wishes for the futur.
I have been truly moved to tears by this thread. Not by the sadness of the J's passing but how J & T not only had the courage to carry on living their lives more than most, but also by the way in which they have reached out to help others in similar situations despite there own obvious turmoil.
I have had 2 close family members taken prematurely by cancer and I am currently going through the final stages of loosing a third so I can safely say that it is indeed an all consuming disease for all those involved. So J & T to take the time out to help and inspire so many others during their own ordeal is an almighty act of courage, bravey and selflessness.
Ride in peace J, and ride on T with J in the gusts of wind, the streams of light through the tress, the glints in the snow and everything else that is wonderful when your out there.
Lovely words from so many of you. Thank you again.
It's not making it any less painful but it IS making me smile to read all your comments.
'Later', at Julians request, I will be taking little 'J dolls' (format so far undecided) and leaving them in places we liked to go, so look out, on your travels, for little one armed dolls and smile for him when you see them. 🙂
I think he asked me to do this so he could ensure I did not become a hermit when he had gone.
My humblest and most sincere thoughts go out to you, I never met the man in person but his blog/posts moved me deeply and motivated me to see things from a different perspective.
I hope there is some sweet single track up there buddy, peace to you, you loved ones and all those in such turmoil.
A truly remarkable example of a human being. Clearly many people were richer for knowing him.
Thoughts and best wishes to his loved ones.
Ride in peace J.
My hopes to you TN, losing a soulmate is shattering. But J would want to be happy.
I haven't been following your story - don't spend as much time on here as I used to since moving to South Africa for a bit, but it certainly sounds as though J was quite a guy and put up a hell of a fight. Good for him! Condolances to you T.
To think I didn't go out riding today because "it's a bit cold" 🙁
Thoughts are with you. There is nothing I can say that would be anything other than crass and cliched, but I wish you strength.
That's a real shame that. Sounds like he was a very inspiring bloke.
Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Very sad to hear this news, thoughts are with you.
No idea what to say, except thoughts are with you too.
Gutted. So so sad. Deepest condolences to you and all those close.
Hi.
I never thought earlier and it is probably FAR too short notice now, but if any of you would like to come and say so long to him, or just have a drink with us afterwards, the funeral is at Wisewood Woodland Cemetery in Sheffield at 2.45pm tomorrow and then at The Plough Inn at Low Bradfield afterwards.
I appreciate a lot of you aren't local, but I know some of you are and you would be more than welcome.
No sombre funeral clothes, just come as you are...
I'll be the blubbering wreck up front, dressed in red. 🙂
Sadly, I'm on a plane tomorrow and physically can't be there.
Thoughts will be with you though.
Tomorrow is the day to celebrate the life he lived. Remember that he lived as well we he could. Will take a moment to think about you tomorrow
I am numb at the moment, I feel like part of me died with him and after 20 years together it is going to be very strange being on my own. Although I know there are so many out there sending their love that I am not alone, really...
I haven't had the fortune to meet you or your husband but have recently had a similar experience, losing my SO of 22 years to cancer. I am so sorry this has happened to you, and concur with your remarks.
If I could give you some heartfelt advice: keep those who are dear to you close by; accept that things are not going to be "normal" for a long while; consider professional bereavement counselling (I am finding this quite helpful) as well as accepting all the love from your family and friends; there is no rush to make further big changes in your life and in fact it probably best not to.
Good luck with tomorrow.



