Not having children

Anyone regret not having children? Just pondering, as I’ve never had the urge, but getting on a bit (41).

I’m guessing there’s nobody that regrets actually having them?

I think that ours have kept my wife and I more active, and hence, young.

But I’m sure others will feel differently.

No not at all. There’s plenty of folk looking after the continuation of the species without any need for our contribution.

35 and SO glad I’ve not had any so far, as relationships are no longer together.

Like the idea of kids 🙁

This was done a few months back IIRC. I think it roughly goes: most people who don’t have them don’t regret it (unless there’s a biological reason they couldn’t). Most people who do have them don’t regret it either. The two sides struggle to understand one another’s point of view. 🙂

God no, imagine having to sit on a plane next to one!!

I know quite a few people who by choice haven’t had kids. I see them in their big houses and their flash cars, going off on great holidays at cheap times three times a year. Having sex whenever they feel like it in their living room, being spontaneous and just buggering off on a weekend.

And I think, what are you missing out o….aaah who am I kidding? I think you lucky buggers!

This was done a few months back IIRC.

More like a couple of weeks back.

I have kids, glad I don’t permanently have a dog though (we are looking after one at the moment).

samuri +1

Same age, same situation. Highly unlikely to change and no desire for it to.

I’ve never understood the desire, I just don’t have the parental gene.

Haven’t got any, would like to, but its looking very unlikely as the years go by.

No not at all. There’s TOO MANY folk already adding to the continuation of the species without any need for our contribution.

FYP

There was a thread title a couple of days ago which was something like “when did you last remember what it felt like being a kid” and I looked at it and thought “about 3 minutes ago because my son is like I was at that age”.

Having kids keeps your outlook young and keeps you linked to your own upbringing/past. If this is a memory that you treasure it can be a fantastic experience and the best adventure you’ve ever had. There are, however, plenty who don’t see it this way and sometimes for good reasons.

LMT, why’s that?

Does anyone who doesn’t want them, find it hard finding a partner who doesn’t want them either. I find all the women round my age are ticking timebombs just gagging for them.

More like a couple of weeks back.

This one, three months ago.

There you go OP, ten pages worth. Knock yerself out.

I think if you’re not sure, you’d love it. If you definately don’t want them then put it away.

Yesterday, my baby boy had his injections (14 months old). When I came home from work, he ran over to me and kissed me. He then sat on my knee snuggling into me for a full half hour.
This is one of the best feelings ever.

I can only go out on the bike at times convenient to my whole family.

We, my wife and I, book holidays similar to that what I had and she had as a child, as we both feel we had very good childhoods and wish the same for our kids.

My house is constantly in a state of noise, commotion and is generally cluttered with toys.

I could go on. Kids are brilliant. I wouldn’t change mine at all. It does however, massively impinge on my life. I can’t say which is better as I have only lived this life.

Without going too much into it, oh has issues medications etc…been advised not to go down that route while on meds, everytime she tries to come off meds, the worse case happens so looks very unlikely. Both of us in our mid to late 30’s.

Things are ok, its just the missing piece.

Have a 24 yr old in the marines a 10yr old just doing his sats an 9yr old whos going to be stopping with us till he wants to leave an 8yr old and 9 month old who will both be going back to their mum in the next couple of weeks, after a fab 3 month stop here. Myself and the mrs have looked after 37 diff kids in the last 7 or so years and neither of us would not change the experience for anything…….except maybe a santa cruz or ibis or a yeti at a push. 😀

God no, imagine having to sit on a plane next to one!!

And pay for their ticket too…

Well, over the last few years i’ve been warming to the idea (I’m 37)

Last weekend, things changed!

I had my sister, husband, 2 kids (5 & 7), brother, partner and child (6) stay, for the first time, at my house

They are all brilliant – the kids are ace and were very well behaved – but Christ parenthood looks difficult

– My sister didn’t have one minute to herself in 3 days

– The mess is biblical with constant tidying

– The expense makes biking seem like good value

– The food preparation is never ending

– Intensive persuasion to make children eat or drink

Its put me right of parenthood as i’ve realised that I’m just too old and too selfish to make such a change to my lifestyle 😀

LMT, fair play for answering. Good luck with it.

Cheers for all the replies. Not sure it helps, but interesting to hear none the less.

Boltonjon, exactly how I feel.

It’s just not right for everybody and fortunately these days there is more acceptance that people make their choice.

Interestingly enough, my two who are mid to late 20’s have made it clear that one wants them and one doesn’t. Their decisions, not mine, and would never dream of commenting.

Like most things in life, you only regret things when its too late to do anything about it…

My biggest worry would be when old, especially looking forward when a far greater percentage of us will be old.

My Dad is now at an age/condition where Mum can’t be out all day. But last year we moved into their old place (and they’ve moved into a cottage 50yds away).

Last night he had a ‘turn’. But because we are just a walk away; today Mum could go out (she’d a golf match) and I could keep an eye on him.

I’ve three sons, so hopefully one of them will be around for us.

God no, imagine having to sit on a plane next to one!!
And pay for their ticket too…

Airmiles FTW!

Am looking forward to seeing the faces in the Flounge as Little Miss CFH gets comfy in the lounge! Then, the joy of watching others as she sits down in Club for 8hrs+ 🙂

It’s a choice that should be respected.
Not everyone that can should.
Not everyone who should can.

I guess my worry is that indecision could mean missing out on, what virtually every parent says is the best thing they ever did. If I was dead set on not having them I think I’d be happy with that, but I don’t want pure procrastination to mean I miss out on that.

Perhaps just never met the right gal.

We’ve been well off young professionals, we’ve been to Ramsey’s had engagements at Michel Rouges, holiday in the Caribbean regularly, nice watches, clothes, shoes, tellys, surround systems, bikes, scuba gear, German sports cars, expensive wines and spirits, have travelled, etc.

Now with two kids, a proper mortgage and nursery / school fees we don’t have the ability to live at that level any more, but I wouldn’t want to give my kids back to have it, at all, ever.

To be fair to those that don’t have kids its perhaps hard to explain the unequivocal love and happiness they bring to your life unless you’ve experienced it.

EDIT: no need.

Have 3. You have no idea the special relationship your missing.

Most people who do have them don’t regret it either.

Just me then 🙁

As I said: “most”

anothergit – really? You’re one of the very few to feel/admit that.

I believe there are biological benefits to a woman in middle and older age if she has previously given birth and produced milk. Hormonal changes that reduce the risk of certain cancers and other diseases.

I believe there are biological benefits to a woman in middle and older age if she has previously given birth and produced milk. Hormonal changes that reduce the risk of certain cancers and other diseases.

It should be prescribed then!!

Also it will be a brave person to put their hand up and admit in public they regret having kids. I understand that it turns your brains to mush and makes you smile and tell stories about projectile vomiting and the like as if it was fine art. But we don’t all go there 🙂

Pretty much as BJ and Kryton call it … Our lives would be dramatically different without our little chimp, but I wouldn’t ‘go back’ for all the money and time in the world. I don’t think you can even remotely understand the connection/bond and general sense of purpose they instill in you until you have one yourself.

Yes, they drive you f)£king mad and ‘stop’ you doing many of the things you used to, but they’re amazing and that’s all you need to know.

Not everyone that can should.
Not everyone who should can.

Nail, head.

Sadly IME it seems that the people I know who would make fantastic parents are largely the ones that can’t have them. Personally it’s not for me, but I find that heartbreaking.

It’s a choice that should be respected.

Why? There’s about 5 billion too many of us on this rock already.

When I hold mine, relax and breathe out in that totally content manner, then to be kissed and told they love me.

That’ll do me.

Pity they’ll grow up and stop saying things like that.