Neighbourly harmony?

You do know that people don’t, by and large, choose to be afflicted by mental illness, don’t you?

Of course, but it’s not been confirmed if the chap has a mental illness. Even if he had, it’s not an excuse to make other peoples lives a misery and cause them to move house at considerable cost.

Good luck finding somewhere decent milky. Sounds like it’s been my idea of hell.
(Feeling so lucky that the adjoining property to mine has been empty since I moved in last year!)

I guess everyones different, I would probably have told him to STF up and make it very clear that I’m a vindictive ********, and if he didn’t stop acting up I’d make his life miserable.

milky, my comment was directed at some of the other posters. You have shown throughout a remarkable degree of understanding / sensitivity towards the guy (probably more than I would in the same circumstances tbh).

Of course, but it’s not been confirmed if the chap has a mental illness

Mental health issues don’t start when a man in a white coat gives you a label. The guy, as described by the OP, very clearly has mental health issues, whether that’s “diagnosable” as mild depression or paranoid schizophrenia or anything in between is neither here nor there.

Even if he had, it’s not an excuse to make other peoples lives a misery and cause them to move house at considerable cost.

Of course it flaming well is! Unless you believe that being completely irrational, and miserable, is a proactive “lifestyle choice” that people make? People do not choose to become mentally ill, ffs.

Of course it flaming well is! Unless you believe that being completely irrational, and miserable, is a proactive “lifestyle choice” that people make? People do not choose to become mentally ill, ffs.

No it’s not. Not in any way, shape or means. The OP has a basic right to live without being stressed to the point of moving home because someone needs medication or institutionalisation (or just drying out). He’s also not the first to move out because of this menace. Stitch him up!

Some people are just a*******s, and have nothing better to do than cause other people hassle. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he is mentally ill, far more likely to just be an a*******.

Ok so the guy has a problem, since when was that OPs fault / problem? Quit the hapy clappy BS and accept FOR WHATEVER REASON the OP’s neighbour is being an ARSE. Some people are just intolerant of others regardless.
Why should the OP have to put up with it? He shouldn’t, hence why he’s moving. Don’t solve the problem but its a solution that works for the OP

Erm, not sure which of your statements you think I’m contradicting?

Since when was that the OP’s fault / problem?

I never said it was his fault. It is self-evidently his problem.

Quit the hapy clappy BS and accept FOR WHATEVER REASON the OP’s neighbour is being an ARSE.

I never said he wasn’t being an arse. He clearly has been. I’ve suggested that the “WHATEVER” reason may well be (based on what the OP has said) to a greater or lesser extent, the mental health issues of said arse, and pointing out in response to posts suggesting that the appropriate response right now would involve seeking vengeance that the “arse” almost certainly hasn’t chosen to be afflicted with those problems. Someone said above they’d threaten to make the guy’s life misery. I suggest that that’s not much of a threat because it almost certainly already is.

Some people are just intolerant of others regardless.

And people suffering from mental illness are often at the shitty end of that particular stick, as it happens.

Why should the OP have to put up with it? He shouldn’t, hence why he’s moving. Don’t solve the problem but its a solution that works for the OP

Not sure what you think I said that contradicts any of that.

Some people are just a*******s, and have nothing better to do than cause other people hassle. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he is mentally ill, far more likely to just be an a*******.

Well, one in four people will suffer mental health difficulties at some point, and unless your social circle is more disfunctional than mine, the proportion of people who are arseholes is a bit lower than that, so I reckon mental health is more likely. I agree that it’s all speculation on the internet about someone we’ve not met, but paranoid delusions (hearing people moving about in a an empty flat) lead me to my conclusions, feel free to let your world-view take you in a different direction.

Ummm…I would hazard a guess that most undeserved neighbourly disharmony is down to people being a********. Odds are on my side if you do the math. 😛

Just put a deposit down on a new flat in a really good part of town, really happy to get an exit strategy sorted.

Contacted my current landlady to give notice and as I did so he kicked off again, banging and swearing. She knows the exact reason I’m moving out and I quote said “difficult to deal with anti-social nutters!”. Made my evening 😆

Will still put another complaint in about him through the management company, even if it keeps him quiet for the last few weeks I’m here it’ll be worth it. Plus it may prevent the next tenant having to put up with the same as I have.

Counting down the days now 🙂

Good stuff. Nothing better than knowing that there is an end in sight!
Thing is if you were feeling malevolent you could suddenly take to playing your music a little louder during the day.. 😈

I like bigyinn’s thinking. 😈

Just remember to spray “PEEDO” on his front door when you move out.

Put in another complaint with the management company who had also been contacted by my landlady to find out what they would do to solve the situation.

Turns out one of the other residents has also put a complaint about noise but does not state who is the noisy party. They had a long chat with me to get the full information and after I had told them everything that had gone on they are sending a general letter to all residents about noise, the bins and parked cars as it turns out one of the flats is not entitled to park on the drive (not me, I’m fine on that front). They are also sending him another letter about his behaviour and that it has caused a tenant to leave, they have agreed to keep my identity anonymous so that he cannot target me.

I haven’t told anyone except my landlady that I am leaving as I’ll have two weeks of overlap with the new place to say my goodbyes to the good tenants.

Apparently he was in a right mood yesterday as the house next door is being extended and the scaffolders have started to put up scaffolding. He had no knowledge of this despite there being a notice in the hallway (been there a month) and each flat getting a planning application notice back in March. The scaffolding boards now cover his main rear window and the new extension will partially (a few inches) block his view when they’ve finished. The scaffolders said he had a right moan at them!! They were a bit worried about me giving them grief as they need to have access through our drive for the next day or so to get the poles in so have agreed with them that I will take my car to work for the next two days to give them access (usually ride) in return for doughnuts 😆 Well, they offered before I could say it wasn’t a problem!!

I get the feeling my complaints and calmness to the situation have had the desired effect of getting the problem noticed and action will be taken, just not in time for me.

Thanks again to everyone who helped. 12 days to go!!

EDIT: will spend my last day hoovering with loud music as a celebration 😈

Been watching this for some time; nothing constructive to add but just to say from what you’ve said, I think you’ve dealt with this admirably.

Also glad to hear the ‘forced’ move is for the better 😀

As above. I think you’ve behaved admirably in very difficult circumstances. I know I wouldn’t have been so reasonable. Sorry you had to move out in the end.

I have also been told by one of the other flat tenant’s mums that he has a personality disorder, causing him to have major mood swings and that he drinks heavily (I have smelt drink on him before but he has never been obviously drunk).

You’ve described me twenty years ago but I was still a good neighbour. 😉

EDIT: will spend my last day week hoovering with loud music as a celebration

FTFY

Fair play to you, you’ve had the patience of a saint through it all. It’s a shame that it’s come to the fact you’ve had to move out.

I’m the same as you, try to please people where I can but there has been a couple of situations where I just snapped. No violence just told them how it was and how it’s going to be in a pretty assertive manner! It’s tended to work, bit of a shock tactic however you have to make sure you’re in the right before you do.

Through the week I live in a flat away from home due to work. It’s the first time I have lived in flat type accommodation and I am supprised how noisy it can be but it doesnt bother me. There is a young couple that live above me and at night I can hear them knocking about upstairs but every other night between about 10pm and midnight they seem to have a bit of a wrestling session followed by him bending one into her. Now he’s no athlete but she is a screamer and as soon as they are finished you can hear her go for a pee!

I’m opened minded so It doesnt really bother me, they dont last long however I met the lad from above me on the stairs and we started chatting. He said that he lived above me and appologised for any noise so at this point I did ask him that if he was to regularly give his missus an oil change at that time of night stick a snooker ball or something in her mouth. He laughed, got quite embarrassed and all was well after!

In the same place I had issues with the same person parking in my allocated space. I asked them not to and left a notice on the car and told them that they could use it at weekends when im not there but they didnt listen. In the end I parked my car infron of theirs when I got back on the Sunday night and went away for a weeks course. It didnt happen again!

Anyway, I hope your new place is a nice one and the neighbours are a better breed.

The new neighbours are pretty much guaranteed to be better, be very hard to be any worse!!

my next door but 1 neighbours decided 11.45pm last night would be a great time to set off fireworks.
Not a few rockets but a 40 shot repeater with all manner of explosions.
***ts.

Just another reason to ban fireworks at any time other than November!!

He’s decided to use the washing machine at 8am this morning then go out somewhere. Shaking the whole building!! Everyone’s up and complaining so should be a few complaints going in about it. I can’t be bothered any more. Was hoping to have a lie in this morning, oh well.

8 days to go!!

I really feel sorry for you mate, having to move. I lived in a flat for a bit and hated it, way too noisy. Never felt like home either. There’s something about having noise above and below you that is especially depressing. Sounds like you handled it well.

Are all flats like this? Can you hear people walking around, doing “normal” stuff? Surely some must be better made?

Using the washing machine at 8am seems reasonable to me.

Slight hiccup in the move!!

The new letting agents have been unable to contact the landlord to get approval for the energy certificate to be completed so the move is on hold!!! I go away on Friday for a week and need to be out of my current place on the day I get back!!

One possible way around is I get the energy certificate done myself and claim the money back, it’s either that or I come home from holiday homeless.

If I didn’t have bad luck I’d have none 😥

Modern house and flats – designed for sittin watching tv in by the sounds of it.

1950s semi detached here and can have the washing machine on at 5am and not upset anyone

Our old 1900s flat we couldnt hear the upstairs neighbour at all – only time she conplained about noise was when i used the turbo j the back garden – when in the hose she couldnt hear it – in the garden it drowned out the telly a full chat.

The letting agents need approval?! Are they expecting the landlord to turn round and say nah its OK, waste of money those things…just leave the place empty for me…

Completed the move this weekend. Been in the new flat a week and handed the keys back on the old place this afternoon.

Have been living at a friend’s house prior as they were away for two weeks and I was happy to get away from him for a bit so missed a bit of stuff.

‘Shouty man’ has had to temporarily move out due to the building noise coming from next door so wasn’t around while I said my goodbyes to the other residents. Turns out he has had arguments with one of the other residents about noise for the last few weeks but they couldn’t say anything as he would hear and kick up a fuss. He also had a massive shouting match with the site foreman (who is great, has always asked us to keep the drive clear when deliveries are due, cleaned their mess, even bought us all food from the local chippie when they had to cut the power for a few hours) about dust levels and noise early in the morning. They are never on site outside the 8-4 stated in the application and keep noisy work to after 10am. They called the police on him after he entered the site and refused to leave, his sister took him away and he’s staying with her until the work is complete. Turns out he has been a problem ever since he moved in but it is near-impossible to get him removed as he always plays the ‘I’m ill so give me some slack’ game plus his landlord is unwilling to deal with the hassle of removing him after trying to do so a few years ago but the local health board made it hard to evict him (claimed nowhere else would take him). So the problem won’t be going away soon.

All in all glad I’m not there any more. The new place isn’t perfect, but just has the normal flat problems of the main door occasionally slamming and kids running up and down the stairs. Nothing to worry about at all. The worst bit is that I no longer have a corner shop (big Tesco a mile away if I run out of milk though) and my broadband is now crap. 2mb max through the phone line now, used to 30mb via cable. Might struggle to stream DH races 😕