Neighbourly harmony?

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  • Neighbourly harmony?
  • tymbian
    Member

    It’s harassment, surely. Him harassing you.

    Duggan
    Member

    He sounds like a first class bell-end and you appear to have already gone way, way over and above the call of duty to try and accommodate him.

    If I was you I think I’d just not even bother worrying about the noise now as he’s clearly only going to complain no matter what anyway.

    You have my sympathies- one of my friends lived in a really nice flat down the road from me and spent ages getting it really nice. Turned out the old lady below her was hyper-sensitive to noise and would complain about everything and anything at all hours to the point of being utterly unreasonable and borderline psychotic. Of course nobody will believe that the young couple in their late twenties are being reasonable and that the the sweet old lady is actually the one with a problem. It got to the point where they only had visitors round once in a blue moon and we’d all have to whisper but still after 10mins….broom on the floor from underneath 🙄 and my friend would be crying as she felt like a prisoner in her own flat.

    In summary as regards the guy above you, **** him. If he’s that bothered about everyday noise he should go and live on top of a hill in Scotland or something.

    milky1980
    Member

    Spoken to my immediate neighbour and he was knocking on all the flats over the weekend telling everyone to keep the noise down. He said that I was making banging noises early Saturday morning, which is a lie as I was in Cheltenham all weekend (Friday to Sunday evening). He’s just knocked on my door but I didn’t answer as I’m keen not to have to deal with him face-to-face until I get a reply through the management company.

    Thankfully my buzzer doesn’t work so he can’t use that to wake me up later (I’m on a week of early starts again and he has just tried it) and he will be heard by the neighbours if he knocks on the door.

    Currently searching for alternative places to rent as I would rather get out of the situation than have it drag for months. Not happy.

    Premier Icon granny_ring
    Subscriber

    Dont blame you for wanting to get away but if he’s harassing all the neighbours then surely the landlord/management company have to do something as it’s affecting everyone in the block?

    milky1980
    Member

    He’s focussing on me as I’m directly below him. The others are ignoring him as much as they can. The management company won’t get involved directly, stating it’s not their responsibility and that I should call the police if he gets abusive or threatening.

    Just about to leave for work and he’s up, hopefully I can leave without having to talk to him but I very much doubt it.

    Premier Icon porter_jamie
    Subscriber

    Ive got a couple of 450watt active pa speakers and a slayer cd you can borrow.

    zeffir
    Member

    Think it is time you got all your neighbours to sign petition against this guy-send it to his landlord to get him out! Don’t think you need is speakers to wind him up, just set your door closers to slam, and make sure you make full use of that bathroom light switch- when he comes down just let him let him know not to bother coming down again.

    milky1980
    Member

    Just had another confrontation with him.

    Was washing my bike on the drive after a weekend’s biking (I got back late so didn’t do it yesterday) and he came down, initially in a reasonable mood. He said the noise was less this weekend, but that he could still hear me moving around in the evenings. Told him I’d been away all weekend (left early Friday morning, back Sunday evening) and he instantly started to yell and get aggressive. I told him there was no need to yell as I was only in front of him and he got very agitated. I told him to stop yelling or I’d suspend the conversation and call the police. At this point one of my neighbours came out to see what all the noise was about, where he instantly started to back down and behave reasonably normal.

    The neighbour got involved and pointed out that she never hears me (she’s directly below) and that it could well have been her making the noise this weekend as they had friends round. She also pointed out that there is always someone coming or going all the time, so the noise could be anyone. He didn’t seem to take this in so started going on about how he puts the bins out for everyone and that he’s in charge of the general tidiness of the place (he isn’t, he’s just a tenant that has been here a long time). I pointed out that I do my bit (wash the drive, park my car tight against the wall, etc) and he started going on about how he sweeps the drive every week and that it is his job to do it. At this point he left.

    Finished washing my bike and made my way back up to my flat, where I noticed that the front inner door had been opened (I wedge the main door open to get the bike back in with the inner door shut), he had been the only person to go past it. I’m presuming he opened it to look for me as nothing has been moved, but I have no proof so will have to be careful from now on.

    I’ve phoned the local police station to see where I stand with the aggressive behaviour, as it’s plainly only being directed at me and when there are no witnesses (classic bully?) but there is little they can do without proof. The management company are unwilling to get involved despite me putting a complaint about his behaviour to them. They just forwarded it on to his landlord, who I know has had a word with him as he brought it up when yelling at me. The council are also not willing to get involved at this stage either.
    I have also noticed that the other residents are no longer willing to be involved in this dispute – they just ignore him now as he’s only directing his anger at me.

    Still looking for somewhere else to live, but the price hike is a barrier.

    Any suggestions on further courses of action?

    piemonster
    Member

    He said the noise was less this weekend, but that he could still hear me moving around in the evenings. Told him I’d been away all weekend (left early Friday morning, back Sunday evening)

    That bit at least made me laugh.

    CountZero
    Member

    Pity you can’t sneak into his place when he’s out, and put several dead rats under his floorboards…
    Maybe a couple of kippers behind his radiators. 😈

    I would suggest you go to your local Council website and look up “Statutory Noise” – if you do not fit the criteria and I’m sure you will not I would ignore this guy. Sounds like he is picking on you because you are responding. It sounds like he has no grounds to complain of noise. You have a right to be able to enjoy your life, respect your privacy etc. If everyone else is ignoring him then I would do the same.

    When he has another go out you, suggest that he reports the matter to the council and call his bluff! He can’t do anything to you unless you meet the criteria of causing a Statutory Noise Nuisance.

    OP, this sounds like a proper nightmare. 🙁

    Hope it gets sorted one way or another.

    Premier Icon 2unfit2ride
    Subscriber

    TBH it seems a bit weird that you are the only one he ‘bullies’, have you tried telling him where to go? I appreciate that confrontation should be the last resort but it sounds as if you have been entirely reasonable so I don’t think you would be out of order to tell him to do one.

    Good luck.

    We have a bully next to us and when we moved in we became the target for complaints which were completely unreasonable. When speaking to other neighbours we were told that unless you stand up to her she will keep picking on you. I tried for a long time to still be polite and reasonable but when I found out that she even had made up stories about us to spread as gossip I thought enough is enough. So when she phoned to complain about my friends getting into a taxi to go to the airport one morning I told her to “get over it” and hung up. Feel a lot better now I’ve given up pleasing her!

    Maybe that is your answer if you tried everything else. He obviously doesn’t feel it is unpleasant enough to complain to you.

    Premier Icon martymac
    Subscriber

    i have had the noise problem when i lived at my parents home, it went on for years, eventually sorted when my dad went round and kicked the guys arse up and down the street (literally)
    my advice, dont enter into any conversation with him at all, its pointless as he isnt listening to you (or anyone else)
    and the next time he bangs on the floor/door at 2am call the police.
    or kick his head in, but if youre gonna do that be sure there are no witnesses.

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgmO32IdwuE[/video]

    Late one night , when all is quiet play this through a speaker placed against the ceiling.

    Wont make it any better , but hey it cant get alot worse.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    You say you’re the only one he’s being aggressive to – are you sure of that? If he picks on people individually, maybe everyone else is thinking the same thing?

    I think if it were me, I’d get the other neighbours onside and then give him a week of demonstrating what a noisy neighbour actually sounds like.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Actually, that’s a lie.

    I’d probably say to him “look mate, whatever you can hear, it’s not me; but if you ever hassle me again, I’m buying a drum kit.”

    and some Bagpipes…

    Junkyard
    Member

    what cougar said tbh
    i feel for you problem is when folk are this unreasonable there is generally very little you can do to appease them or make it better as you are not doing anything to make it bad anyway. It is not like you can be any quieter than not being there which was still too noisy!!

    Best of luck but I have nothing useful to add

    milky1980
    Member

    It is a real nightmare, more so due to the way it seems as though the matter is resolved for a while before it all comes back again.

    I have considered just punching him when he’s being aggressive and claiming self-defence but it’s too much of a risk as my job requires me to have no criminal record!!

    Cougar, the neighbours are all steering clear now. Will give the management company a call tomorrow and see if he is responsible for all the stuff he claims to be, see if I can get them involved from that angle or at least get clarification.

    jesterthefirst – I’ll call the council and see where I stand as their website only gives info on making a complaint. I’m positive I am not being a nuisance but knowing the guidelines will be of use in the event of him making it official/me telling him to make a complaint and to stop harassing me.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    there is generally very little you can do to appease them

    I think this is pretty key. He’s not going to be won over by reasoned debate; ergo, you need to make if VERY CLEAR that you absolutely will not tolerate him harassing you. After that, any further attempt should be met either with silence or foxtrot oscar. You’re gaining nothing from talking to him, so don’t.

    Will give the management company a call tomorrow and see if he is responsible for all the stuff he claims to be

    He’s almost certainly responsible for two things, Jack and Shit. Clarification from the Management company would give you ammo the next time he plays the big ‘I am’, but by even engaging with him he’s already won.

    “I’m responsible for blah blah” and whining about noise when you’re away all weekend, he’s a mentalist; I reckon the only thing he wants from you is attention.

    scuzz
    Member

    Sounds to me like you need to be a bit less careful. Imagine if you actually were the kind of inconsiderate person he’s claiming you to be. Would you care about him or his peace? Would you be posting this? Would you be bothered? I don’t think you would, because you’d be the kind of person we like to complain about as well meaning members of society. Essentially you’re trapped by your well meaning attitude. Unfortunately it isn’t solving the situation. So, stuff him. Ignore him. Keep your log, don’t do anything that authorities can chastise you for, keep your nose clean but just stop giving a monkeys about him. Tell him to direct correspondence to your mediator. You don’t want anything to do with him.

    Junkyard
    Member

    make sure you mention how threatened you feel and how aggressive they are to the management company – you think they might hit you
    You could point this out in your self defence claim 😉
    IANAL

    I doubt violence will actually help TBH but if you do feel threatened make sure folk know in case you need to do something

    Sum
    Member

    OP the local authority may have a mediation service to help solve neighbour disputes but TBH it does sound from your posts that your angry neighbour is picking on you because he can and he won’t be let up until he has it all his way.

    Next time he complains, tell him there’s nothing more you can do because he can hear you making noise in your flat even when you’re out. Tell him he’s a crazy lunatic and the noises are in his head and you’re not wasting any more time on his imaginings. Keep on pointing that out until he sods off. Don’t punch him unless he swings at you first and if you do, get onto the police before he does and make sure you tell them he attacked you first.

    tymbian
    Member

    Can you wear a go pro next time your washing your bike or whatever…get some footage..You-tube might just be your friend..

    Sorry you’re having so much hassle. Hat taken off to you though mate, your patience is admired. I’d of twatted him by now..

    nealglover
    Member

    I have considered just punching him when he’s being aggressive and claiming self-defence but it’s too much of a risk as my job requires me to have no criminal record!!

    Tell him very firmly and up close

    “Up until now, the only reason I haven’t put you on your arse, is because my job requires a clean criminal record.

    I start a new job next week and they aren’t so bothered.

    So you’ve got five days to learn how to stay out of my **** way”

    milky1980
    Member

    Just to keep this updated:

    I am now actively looking for a new place to live (2 viewings tomorrow) after failing to get things resolved through the management company.

    The gent in flat 5 has continued to be aggressive (but not violent) towards me until I put a second complaint into the management company last month. He now avoids all contact with me but has continued to sneakily make my life hell. Putting the rubbish bags in front of my car, walking loudly around his flat when I’m home, cleaning the driveway noisily with a spade (weeds) and brush when he knows I’m sleeping after a night shift and generally making enough noise that I can hear him but not enough to disturb the other residents.

    The final straw was when he told the other car owners in the block that he would get me to park my car on the street after my car hadn’t moved for a fortnight* despite it being parked tight against the wall as usual. I was told this by one of the other residents who said that my car was the best parked to allow pushchairs to pass it and that the other cars were the problem!!

    It’s not worth the hassle of fighting him, so I’m moving out but will make it perfectly clear to my landlady and the management company why I am moving.

    Thanks to everyone for the advice.

    *I’ve been off work for a three weeks with bruised ribs following a fall off the bike so haven’t been driving.

    Premier Icon Pik n Mix
    Subscriber

    Hope the viewings go well, you have truly put up with so much bullsh*t!
    Here’s to a much happier future.

    Premier Icon martinhutch
    Subscriber

    Probably the most sensible solution for your own mental health. Let’s hope he gets the opportunity to reflect on his behaviour when he gets a family with a baby or a student and part-time DJ next time around. If anyone comes round to view the flat while you’re in you can tell them that the soundproofing is excellent and they can play music whenever they like.

    wrecker
    Member

    So….how can the OP stitch the nutbag up before he leaves? perhaps something which will take a while to present a nuisance but doesn’t affect the other residents. Hmmm.

    edlong
    Member

    So….how can the OP stitch the nutbag up before he leaves?

    You do know that people don’t, by and large, choose to be afflicted by mental illness, don’t you?

    Not to minimise the impact on the OP of a shitty situation, but I’m sure if the guy upstairs could be a happy, stable fella with no paranoid delusions, he probably would.

    xiphon
    Member

    We had some noisy neighbours – we live in a terrace – the other house on the other side is unoccupied. All three properties are managed by the same company.

    Apparently hoovering at 3am is acceptable? Moving furniture (presumably for hoovering) was also a regular occurrence in the early hours. This went on for months and months.

    We asked them (politely – many times) to cease, which they didn’t. Lodged a complaint with the management company… again, nothing happened. Lodged a second complaint… again, no result.

    So when we went away for 2 weeks, a big-ass PA system was rolled in, and hooked up to a laptop.

    At random times, between 12am and 5am (each night), it would play 3 minutes of something very bass heavy, and very loud.

    They never said anything, but were silent after 9pm from then on…

    bigyinn
    Member

    edlong – Member

    So….how can the OP stitch the nutbag up before he leaves?

    You do know that people don’t, by and large, choose to be afflicted by mental illness, don’t you?

    Not to minimise the impact on the OP of a shitty situation, but I’m sure if the guy upstairs could be a happy, stable fella with no paranoid delusions, he probably would.
    Ok so the guy has a problem, since when was that OPs fault / problem? Quit the hapy clappy BS and accept FOR WHATEVER REASON the OP’s neighbour is being an ARSE. Some people are just intolerant of others regardless.
    Why should the OP have to put up with it? He shouldn’t, hence why he’s moving. Don’t solve the problem but its a solution that works for the OP

    milky1980
    Member

    edlong – I have a relative who is bipolar so know how to cope with that and would never dream of tormenting someone with any type of mental illness. I’m just going to leave quietly but make it perfectly clear why I am leaving if asked.
    Hopefully any fall-out will see him change his ways.

    wrecker
    Member

    You do know that people don’t, by and large, choose to be afflicted by mental illness, don’t you?

    Of course, but it’s not been confirmed if the chap has a mental illness. Even if he had, it’s not an excuse to make other peoples lives a misery and cause them to move house at considerable cost.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Good luck finding somewhere decent milky. Sounds like it’s been my idea of hell.
    (Feeling so lucky that the adjoining property to mine has been empty since I moved in last year!)

    I guess everyones different, I would probably have told him to STF up and make it very clear that I’m a vindictive ********, and if he didn’t stop acting up I’d make his life miserable.

    edlong
    Member

    milky, my comment was directed at some of the other posters. You have shown throughout a remarkable degree of understanding / sensitivity towards the guy (probably more than I would in the same circumstances tbh).

    Of course, but it’s not been confirmed if the chap has a mental illness

    Mental health issues don’t start when a man in a white coat gives you a label. The guy, as described by the OP, very clearly has mental health issues, whether that’s “diagnosable” as mild depression or paranoid schizophrenia or anything in between is neither here nor there.

    Even if he had, it’s not an excuse to make other peoples lives a misery and cause them to move house at considerable cost.

    Of course it flaming well is! Unless you believe that being completely irrational, and miserable, is a proactive “lifestyle choice” that people make? People do not choose to become mentally ill, ffs.

    wrecker
    Member

    Of course it flaming well is! Unless you believe that being completely irrational, and miserable, is a proactive “lifestyle choice” that people make? People do not choose to become mentally ill, ffs.

    No it’s not. Not in any way, shape or means. The OP has a basic right to live without being stressed to the point of moving home because someone needs medication or institutionalisation (or just drying out). He’s also not the first to move out because of this menace. Stitch him up!

    Some people are just a*******s, and have nothing better to do than cause other people hassle. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he is mentally ill, far more likely to just be an a*******.

    edlong
    Member

    Ok so the guy has a problem, since when was that OPs fault / problem? Quit the hapy clappy BS and accept FOR WHATEVER REASON the OP’s neighbour is being an ARSE. Some people are just intolerant of others regardless.
    Why should the OP have to put up with it? He shouldn’t, hence why he’s moving. Don’t solve the problem but its a solution that works for the OP

    Erm, not sure which of your statements you think I’m contradicting?

    Since when was that the OP’s fault / problem?

    I never said it was his fault. It is self-evidently his problem.

    Quit the hapy clappy BS and accept FOR WHATEVER REASON the OP’s neighbour is being an ARSE.

    I never said he wasn’t being an arse. He clearly has been. I’ve suggested that the “WHATEVER” reason may well be (based on what the OP has said) to a greater or lesser extent, the mental health issues of said arse, and pointing out in response to posts suggesting that the appropriate response right now would involve seeking vengeance that the “arse” almost certainly hasn’t chosen to be afflicted with those problems. Someone said above they’d threaten to make the guy’s life misery. I suggest that that’s not much of a threat because it almost certainly already is.

    Some people are just intolerant of others regardless.

    And people suffering from mental illness are often at the shitty end of that particular stick, as it happens.

    Why should the OP have to put up with it? He shouldn’t, hence why he’s moving. Don’t solve the problem but its a solution that works for the OP

    Not sure what you think I said that contradicts any of that.

    edlong
    Member

    Some people are just a*******s, and have nothing better to do than cause other people hassle. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he is mentally ill, far more likely to just be an a*******.

    Well, one in four people will suffer mental health difficulties at some point, and unless your social circle is more disfunctional than mine, the proportion of people who are arseholes is a bit lower than that, so I reckon mental health is more likely. I agree that it’s all speculation on the internet about someone we’ve not met, but paranoid delusions (hearing people moving about in a an empty flat) lead me to my conclusions, feel free to let your world-view take you in a different direction.

    Ummm…I would hazard a guess that most undeserved neighbourly disharmony is down to people being a********. Odds are on my side if you do the math. 😛

    milky1980
    Member

    Just put a deposit down on a new flat in a really good part of town, really happy to get an exit strategy sorted.

    Contacted my current landlady to give notice and as I did so he kicked off again, banging and swearing. She knows the exact reason I’m moving out and I quote said “difficult to deal with anti-social nutters!”. Made my evening 😆

    Will still put another complaint in about him through the management company, even if it keeps him quiet for the last few weeks I’m here it’ll be worth it. Plus it may prevent the next tenant having to put up with the same as I have.

    Counting down the days now 🙂

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