Neighbourly harmony?

Just got in from an afternoon ride and one of my neighbours came down to talk about the amount of noise that’s coming from below him. Specifically the sound of doors shutting and pull-cord light switches. Now I can’t think of any way to pull a light switch quieter, plus all the main doors are of the type that you lift the handle to engage the deadlocks.

I live in a block of flats, so some noise is to be expected but he wants the place to be completely noise-free!! The only noises I hear are him coming back from the pub at all hours of the day and the kids below playing with the intercom occasionally, but have never mentioned it as it doesn’t bother me.
What really annoys me is that I try to be a good tenant by washing the drive down after washing my bike, only put the bins out on the designated day (others don’t), park my car tight against the wall so others can come and go easily (the other two cars are parked at all sorts of odd angles!)and keep the hallway tidy outside my door (hoover it regularly, remove tyre marks off the wall). I also live on my own and am very quiet compared to the other tenants – my immediate neighbour sometimes wonders if I’m ever in!!

Now this isn’t the first time he’s mentioned noise in the building to other tenants, he seems to be obsessed with it. The problem is he’s very hard to deal with face-to-face and doesn’t see other people’s point of view easily. He definitely struggles to see why others should be about at 3am when two of us (me and the woman next door) work in jobs that require 24hr flexibility.

Any ideas?

Well at least he’s got the balls to come and discuss it with you rather than going off on one. He probably sleeps badly and gets woken with a start when he hears those sounds. If there’s any way you can accommodate him I’m sure he’ll be a friend and a valued neighbour for life; who knows, he might even call the Police if he sees someone checking out your flat.

My inclination would be to invite him back down and pour him a beer then go round with him to identify the specific sources of noise and discuss ways of solving the problems. By showing him you’re a good, considerate neighbour half the problem will go away because he will grow to appreciate your presence rather than fear it. There might even be some kinds of measures you can take to reduce the noise as well.

Once again, if he is accustomed to you and your lifestyle and he likes you, he’s more likely to call the Police if he hears unusual noises coming from your flat.

you can buy silent pull cord switches, a pal of mine fitted them in his house, if you’ve got soft closers on your doors, they can be adjusted to atually softly close (mostly they don’t, the fitters haven’t got time)

Sounds like the type that will continue his thinking to become righteous etc. Polite ‘no Im not being unreasonable’ then ignore him.

You cant win against his type/just feed him ammunition.

Inform your landlord. I.e head off a complaint before one happens.

globalti, I normally get on with him fine, we talk about communal issues all the time!! I can’t shut the door any quieter than I already do!! The flat next door (shared wall) doesn’t hear me at all and I don’t generally hear any of the other flats either.

I’ve done the most I can to keep the noise down that he hears, bar replacing the door and switches. Nobody else in the block has any noise worries and we all get along. We take each other’s parcels in from the couriers and keep an eye on things when others are away. I’ve been here three years and was the last tenant to move in, so we all know each other’s habits very well.
Bizarrely he never hears my music or films, which can be on loudly at times, but again nobody else hears them either (I asked when I first moved in).

I want to get this sorted before it gets to be a problem!! The security angle is one I want to keep, as I’ve got two expensive bikes and don’t want them stolen!! We had an attempted break-in a year ago which one of the other tenants stopped, no other problems and I’d like to keep it like that!!

I can sympathise with him being a very light sleeper but even I have to except some noise is bound to happen and light switches are an expectable amount of noise.

globalti has the right idea (and must be a top neighbour BTW), as the bloke is otherwise sound you can probably work with him to identify problem noises, and ask him how he thinks you can mitigate them. Then work out whats reasonable between you. Good neighbours are worth a bit of effort.

Light switches???
Deary me! 🙄
I think I would have laughed in his face! 😆

Washing drives, proper parking, putting the bins out…… you do your bit by the sounds of things, tell him to do one.

You’re lucky. I get woken up to the sound of my potty-mouthed neighbour telling her boyfriend to “eff off and die, hunt” if you catch my drift. Vile.

these things become obssesions with some folk– best try the gentle approach–but as others have said–he may just like to be a complain neighbour–only happy with a gripe …

as globalti, suggest earplugs as above

? what is his flooring, could he add thick carpet/underfelt/newspaper etc to help

The building is purpose-built with concrete slabs between the floors. As far as I know he’s got carpet down, but I don’t hear him moving about and he doesn’t hear me or my TV/music at all. I’m presuming the noise only transmits when something is solidly mounted to the ceiling ie the door and the pull-switch.

wallop – had that at my last place, the couple above would argue like crazy then make up and get jiggy 😯 I could hear EVERYTHING!!!

Anyone know where I can get some of those silent switches that spchantler mentioned? Going to try putting some foam draught tape on the door frame so I can at least prove I’ve tried to solve the problem.

milky, are you the one making the noises below moany man?

if it is your light switches, then by all means replace them, light pull switches can be pretty noisy and transmit the sound through the house. Not sure what you can do about the doors though. Be a little more gentle?

Just be obnoxiously noisy for a couple of weeks then return to your normal ways, he’ll soon realise how quiet you actually were.

Yes, I’m directly below him.

Just spent an hour re-greasing the hinges and locks on both entry doors (one off the hallway then the interior door) and that has made the locks a bit quieter. I’ve also gone round the door frames with new draught exclusion foam tape, taking care to make sure no part of the door and frame can hit each other. Seems to make less of a thud when it closes, more a gentle tap. I’m very conscious of the amount of noise I make as I have starts of 3am on a regular basis.
It’s also strange that I can be working on the bikes during the day and no-one hears a thing!! Yet pull a light cord and it sounds like a bomb has gone off to him!! I don’t hear anything from the flat below me, who have two hyperactive kids. No door slams, light switches, nothing. I know they do make a lot of noise as you can hear it in the hallway most of the time. shut my two doors and all is peaceful 😀

Hoping that should keep him happy for a while, just to try a quieter light switch now! At least he can’t accuse me of not trying.

Apologise and invite him over to check out your new drum kit.

I’d record an apology then deliver it by playing it on loop on my stereo for a few days, while I’m on holiday. He’ll appreciate it all the more.

Like “Bang! sorry!” “Click-click! Sorrrry!”
“Bang! sorry!” “Click-click! Sorrrry!”
“Bang! sorry!” “Click-click! Sorrrry!”

etc 😀

Screw some speakers to the ceiling under his bedroom, turn the base up and the trebble down, then put some white noise on – it’ll mask the sound of the doors and light switches.

Alternatively, polietly suggest he invests in some sound insulation for under his floor boards.

Light switches???
Deary me!
I think I would have laughed in his face!

Washing drives, proper parking, putting the bins out…… you do your bit by the sounds of things, tell him to do one.

I know. If hes one of those never happy/spot a weakness in someone softly-bully type welcome to a world of trouble OP..

He’s started up again 🙁

Recently he has started to bang the floor very loudly if he hears any noise, enough to make the building vibrate and at any time of the day. Has woken me up at 2am doing this twice in the last week and has upset the baby in the flat next to me too.

Got home today to find a note stuck under my door saying:

” no 3

keep the noise a disturbace down, c u later flat 5″

As spelt and punctuated in really bad handwriting.

I have also been told by one of the other flat tenant’s mums that he has a personality disorder, causing him to have major mood swings and that he drinks heavily (I have smelt drink on him before but he has never been obviously drunk). He apparently was the reason the previous tenant of my flat moved out.

I would consider moving just to get away, but I wouldn’t want to give up a flat that I am otherwise happy with, as it has off-street parking, near shops, within cycling distance of work, the other neighbours are great and the rent is very good. I’m renting privately, not through an agent so I’m paying £150 below what other flats are going for.

If he does decide to confront me about the noise that I am apparently making, I will have to tell him to put a formal complaint in with the building management company as I don’t deal with confrontation well and it would be best to make everything official. I would contact the management company myself, but I don’t have their number.

I’m at my wit’s end with all of this. 😥

Any comments welcome.

I would get onto the management company if you think he’s being unreasonable and has previous, and make a complaint about his unreasonable demands which are not reflected by any other tenants.

I get the feeling he might be taking advantage of your good nature to be a bully…

invest in a new “patio” for your block of flats.. it’s the neighbourly thing to do, 😈

I would talk to your landlord. If he’s previously caused a tenant to move, then your landlord should be onside as it’s cost him money.

You are entitled to make noise within reasonable limits. If your neighbour is unable to deal with that, then he needs to move to a detached residence. Keep a record of all incidents (especially him banging at 2am!),, first port of call for this would be your landlord. Maintain a reasonable attitude at all times – sounds like you’ve done this bit already. If he chooses to be unreasonable or agressive, refer him to landlord/building management people and disengage.

At the end of the day, you sound like someone living a normal life and willing to compromise a bit for the sake of other people. This is very important when living in a flat, some people are just not suited to it.

keep an acccurate and honest log (date, time, event, witnesess are good) of all related items, would it be possible to suggest this to any other residents who have issues with him. ? can you find the previous tenant.

if he does ‘call round’ then I would try and discretely record the momement for posterity.

I’d also try citizens advice/council for advice/help – try gooogling environmental health and your area

http://www.noisyneighbours.net/involving-the-authorities/

I’ll get in touch with my landlady tomorrow, see if I can get the management’s number and log a complaint that way.

I know that you will get noise in a block of flats so I do try and keep things to a minimum. Washing machine only on during the day (has a timer), watch movies using headphones so I can have it loud, etc, same for music. I have never had any complaints from anyone else with regards to noise, only ever had a problem with car parking. Easily resolved by agreeing on who parks where on the drive. I park tight against a wall so that the other two drivers can park with plenty of space as neither are confident reversing in.

Will start a log of all incidents and contact with him. I don’t like to take things to this stage but needs must I suppose.

Good luck with sorting it out.

I don’t think you can do anymore to be a good neighbour and it is him who has the problems.

Landlady time, without a doubt.

Sounds like a bit of a tool, a bit like my neighbour, never happy type.

Show him what its like to have a genuinely noisy neighbour for a few weeks then go back to your normal quiet self – he might appreciate you more.

As said above, get as much evidence together as you can and if other neighbours can help with that then all the better.

Good luck hope it’s sorted soon.

As above, keep a record and get hold of the landlady methinks.

Sounds to me like you’re taking more than reasonable steps to be a nice neighbour – hopefully it’ll help you gain the support of the landlady and management team; it sounds like this is a battle you might not win on your own.

Hope it works out for you though.

Council environmental health department, discrete recordings of neighbours noise making. You could use a smartphone with suitable apps installed.

Just had him visit after I was apparently making too much noise getting ready for work. All I’ve done is my morning pee, shave, brush my teeth and make a mug of tea and a bowl of cereal. All done as quiet as possible. Apparently this sounds like a bomb going off!! Work starts at 6.30 so was up at 5am, not too unreasonable?

He didn’t give me a chance to reply, just stormed off back upstairs creating a lot more noise than I could!! One for the log. Not looking forward to tomorrow when I start at 3am 😐

Thankfully I’m away this weekend biking with friends, so will have a respite from this for a few days.

Sounds like this guy’s obsessive disorder is getting worse, not sure what landlady or building management company are going to be able to do about his odd behaviour.

Can’t see it ending too well if you’re keen to remain on good terms, him thinking it is OK to come down at 5am sounds little concerning – if it were me I’d make it clear he’ll be reported for antisocial behaviour to appropriate authorities. Nip it in the bud!

Yep, sounds to me like you’ve been a pretty good and considerate neighbour and he’s the one with a problem. One thing I will say is that you never know what might happen with people like him – tomorrow he might keel over with something alcohol-related and then you’ll have peace and harmony. But you’ve still got to start documenting his unreasonable behaviour. Did you try inviting him in to go round the flat and check out the sources of noise that upset him so much? If he can see that you’re careful he might calm down a little. An offer of a drink would sort that out.

You’ve been more than reasonable. If someone came knocking on my door at that time I’d be telling him to do one!

If he woke you up at 2am who was making noise?
5am is pretty early to be getting up, but FFS what are you supposed to do?

Bugger the patio. New stereo and bigger speakers then you can’t hear him banging upstairs.

Stay off the Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

(sorry, shouldn’t trivialise this. It would drive me nuts.) (Oops, no pun intended!)