Home Forums Chat Forum My wife has left me.

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 296 total)
  • My wife has left me.
  • BenHouldsworth
    Free Member

    Chin up mate; your daughter loves you tonight just like she did this morning 🙂 and your wife is sick of a situation not necessarily you.

    Don’t call first thing, however hard it is, speak to her Mum first, then your daughter, then her. Accept she wants space and ask to see your daughter and her Mum together; as sad as it is you are going to have to play by her rules in the short term so think of your daughter and separate your relationship with her from that with your wife.

    Good luck and God bless

    twistedpencil
    Full Member

    Make the drink in your hand the last until you dictate the booze intake; it takes a lot of effort to knock it on the head and learn to moderate it.

    However as others and you yourself have pointed out the reasons to do this is are at your mother in laws.

    Go and beat yourself up on the bike, I did this last night to work a couple of issues through, it beats the booze hands down.

    You’re not alone and I wish you the very best in pulling it around.

    Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

    (sorry the opening ceremony is getting to me 🙂 )

    druidh
    Free Member

    rubbish – you’re on a biking website, so I presume you have a bike and use it occasionally. Is there no one you go riding with that you could meet up with and blow off some cobwebs and chat for a while?

    jamj1974
    Full Member

    Rubbish, this is going to be tough for a little while – however I am sure that you will soon be in a better position. Chin up and remember your daughter loves and needs you.

    You know what to do – lose the booze and ease up on work, even if that means changing your job. Both of these are hard but you have a great motivation – the best motivation in fact. Give your wife some space and let her see how you are doing the right things with great commitment.

    Take care and keep posting here, this community can be amazingly supportive.

    J

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    Blimey, not a good situation to be in. 🙁 It won’t be easy but your wife and daughter need to know that they are more important than your work. Perhaps work has become your escapism, rather than dealing with your relationship?

    Get all that right and the need to drink will diminish.

    Good luck. 🙂

    trevh
    Free Member

    Your sitting there on your own tonight what’s more important work or family. You know the answer sort it work to live not live to work.

    samuri
    Free Member

    It does sound like this is a wake up call. What you do with it is up to you. If you work and drink all the time, you need to change that. Both preferably. You can change jobs and stop drinking but you’ll never have that time with your daughter again.

    Hope it all works out fella. Nobody ever looked back and wished they’d worked more or drank more.

    Midnighthour
    Free Member

    You need to ask for councelling – not just about the booze but about life and communication and obsession over work.

    I am sad things are rough for you – but I suspect they have been even rougher for your wife and child for a very long time.

    It seems very improbable that your wife would have left you with no prior warnings, no prior discussions, no indication she was struggling herself. Which makes me wonder if you ever took her seriously or listened to her, if you ignored her or dismissed her views. However well you meant in trying to have a good income it still looks like you put yourself first in choices and in booze, or at least have become a workaholic with no awareness of his self destructiveness or its affect on others.

    You say something like ‘there is no impact other than financial’ well clearly that’s not true. No one just ups and leaves on a moments whim with no backstory. Also just how bad is the financial impact you imply is trivial? She seems to say you are moody (which implies unpleasant to deal with) – why would she lie?

    You say there has been no holiday for, what was it, 17 years? (not going to trace back to look). So no holiday for her then? Or for your loved child?

    You were a lucky man – she really loved you to stick it out for this long.

    I hope it sorts. I hope you all feel better. I hope you stop putting yourself first, using the excuse of work is more important than people or love. Sorry to be harsh, but its the only way of helping really. If this relationship is permanently down the pan, at least learn from it so the next one goes better.

    All the best. I lost everything a long time ago. I know how shit some stuff can be. Sometimes horrible experiences end up saving you.

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    Rubbish – how much do you actually drink??

    rubbish
    Free Member

    2 bottles of wine a night.

    donsimon
    Free Member

    2 bottles of wine a night.

    Good stuff or cheap crap?

    rubbish
    Free Member

    in between.

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    Yeah, ok, you need to cut down on that. I’ll get shit faced with you for a bit tonight though. Wake up feeling like crap tomorrow and then review things.

    Where you based? Someone on here is bound to be up for a ride… it’s one of the things this place is for.

    Oh, and buy wine boxes…

    druidh
    Free Member

    rubbish – Member
    2 bottles of wine a night.

    I hope you’re not driving the following morning?

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    TSY – GAG and shut up!

    rubbish – cut it down, may be easier than cutting out completely? Is that every night?

    donsimon
    Free Member

    in between.

    There you go see, you don’t actually know what you want, do you? I’d understand it a bit better if you were knocking back a couple of bottles of quality.
    Have a look at things with a clear head tomorrow…

    rubbish
    Free Member

    I know a fair few people on here for rides in my area, pretty sure I can arrange a ride with them if I want to, but I’m a bit of a loner ridewise.

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    TSY – GAG and shut up!

    {EDITED BY TEH MODS}

    rubbish
    Free Member

    yes and yes to Druidh and CG,

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    Hmmm, may be worth talking to your GP?

    rubbish
    Free Member

    yep as above, in motion.

    Midnighthour
    Free Member

    What difference does it make if its cheap or dear? – he is still drunk and from his recall of his wifes comments, not pleasant to be around.

    “she has tired of my drinking, I’m not abusive or violent but I drink too much (at home in the evening) I’m not saying she is wrong in that respect, but IMO it is not intrusive into our lives other than the financial aspect, she says I’m in a bad mood a lot of the time”

    In the first post (now quoted above), there is no responsibility taken for his choice of behavior, no acceptance he is part of or a cause of the problem. He might just as well say its all in his wife’s pretty little head “IMO it is not intrusive into our lives other than the financial aspect”.

    I know this is harsh, but denial is what has got him here. He needs to get real about his role in the problem – or admit that rather than take responsibility for any of this and change himself, he would actually prefer to loose his child and wife.

    druidh
    Free Member

    Tough love on here tonight fella. I hope you can take it all in the helpful and supportive spirit in which it’s intended.

    Have you considered that you might be more efficient at your job without that amount of alcohol sloshing around your body on a regular basis (let alone the fact that you’ll likely be driving above the legal limit too)?

    Call up some of your riding buddies tomorrow – and try not to finish the ride at a pub 😉

    donsimon
    Free Member

    What difference does it make if its cheap or dear?

    🙄

    rubbish
    Free Member

    ough love on here tonight fella. I hope you can take it all in the helpful and supportive spirit in which it’s intended.

    Have you considered that you might be more efficient at your job without that amount of alcohol sloshing around your body on a regular basis (let alone the fat that you’ll likely be driving above the legal limit too)?

    Yep, I need to change.

    Midnighthour
    Free Member

    To choose to change is a brave act. It is also an act of love for your child. Good luck. I wish you all the best.

    And Don Simon, do you really think people are more pleasant to deal with when drunk if they have spent even more on the bottles?

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    And Don Simon, do you really think people are more pleasant to deal with when drunk if they have spent even more on the bottles?

    Tennent’s drunks are my personal fav.

    donsimon
    Free Member

    And Don Simon, do you really think people are more pleasant to deal with when drunk if they have spent even more on the bottles?

    You appear to have totally missed the point and not fully read the thread. It’s about rubbish and not you, so shut up or jodete, capullo!

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    have to say I am missing your point also, DS.

    donsimon
    Free Member

    have to say I am missing your point also, DS.

    Don’t lose any sleep, will you?

    BenHouldsworth
    Free Member

    I can’t believe you girls are fighting amongst yourselves when one of your friends is imploding, poor show guys.

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    no fight from me, just a question for Mr Cryptic.

    PiknMix
    Free Member

    Rubbish, I have nothing to add but your never alone!
    LiddiardATymailDOTcom if you ever need a chat.

    thedon
    Free Member

    have to say I am missing your point also, DS.

    Me too.

    donsimon
    Free Member

    I’ll let you stew on it and see if you have the ability to come up with an answer. It’s not that difficult.

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    go you.

    stevewhyte
    Free Member

    Good luck, i hope it all turns round for you.

    chewkw
    Free Member

    To OP,

    Sorry to hear that as I cannot even think how painful that is.

    This is what you can do:

    1. Let her cool down for few days but keep in touch by speaking to her mother as she will listen to her mother. The mother will soften her stance if you speak nicely to the mother.

    2. In the meantime kick your habit, easier said then done, by seeking help to show her that you really mean it. If she does not want to know it does not matter because you really need to kick that habits to think straight.

    3. Do not try too hard to think of what you have done or should have done. That’s the past and you need to look to the future to salvage your relationship, so try to remain as level headed as possible. Again, Do Not touch anything with alcohol or illegal drugs.

    4. Try to recall the time both of you were happy and remind her that you are still happy with her except things have taken for nasty turn recently or few years whatever …

    5. Tell her you need her help and by working together you should be able to pull through return to the happier times.

    6. You got to speak sincerely from your heart otherwise she will be gone.

    It is a test of your determination now …

    Edric64
    Free Member

    OK IVE READ ALL THESE POSTS AND AM A CYNICAL GIT .

    First seek help admit you have a problem ,an old mate who drank to much said the first step is admitting to yourself .Hopefully getting off the booze will improve your mood and your bank balance .Dont get mad with the missus keep calm .Good luck and please dont drown your sorrows and go round her mums bolloxed pleading with her ,cos that wont do any good .Take it steady with a clear head .Good luck

    JCL
    Free Member

    All the moral cockfags on hear make me sick. I say get waisted and hire a hooker. Then go riding in the Alps for a week. The wife can go find some dullard while you be a happy alcoholic with someone more happy go lucky.

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 296 total)

The topic ‘My wife has left me.’ is closed to new replies.