My bloody allotment is being taken over!

Option 1 – when he is there, move the rope/post and tell him the next time it gets moved it will be him pulling back out of his own 'arris.

Option 2 – he's rollered your allotment where you have seeds planted – does this cause you material loss? if so, get him into the small claims court – it'll wipe the grin right off his face.

Out of interest, how much is he moving the rope by? (it doesnt make any difference to the legitimcy, but just wondering how angry I would be).

Can't you just take a portion of whatever he grows as a kind of rent/tax? 🙂

Can't you just take a portion of whatever he grows as a kind of rent/tax?

Now wouldn't that be technicaly sub letting which will probably be in breach of the alotment contract. The guy seems a vidictive barsteward so he'd probably use that for ammunition to get rid of OP. Come to think of it could he be the guy who got binners in trouble?

Surely you need a compost heap. Now, let's think. Where would be a good place for it?

Recreate the western front complete with rolls of barbed wire and a trench system. Stand in the trench system and at the alotted hour blow the whistle and clamber over/charge him.

Option 2 – he's rollered your allotment where you have seeds planted – does this cause you material loss? if so, get him into the small claims court – it'll wipe the grin right off his face.

Vandalism, report to police

Didn't know my neighbour had an allotment? 😯

Contact the local press.

Corruption in the council would make a great story for a hungry journalist.

And after a bit of bad PR the council would be climbing all over themselves to help you out.

I'm thinking recorded conversations with the council (let them know you're doing it if you feel the need), draw/photo document everything that happens.

once you have a reasonable amount of 'evidence' the council are looking after this fella then approach local press with claims that the council are looking after themselves and you have proof. They love these 'little' stories.

Wait 'till he's in his plot. Turn up, stand there wioth your arms by your side, and shout in amazement:
"Wow, look at all these veg I must have grown on my plot"
Then procede to dig them all up, regardless of their state of maturity, and eat them, rubbing your tummy tum…..

That'll show 'im…

DrP

just driven past and to my complete astonishment he's erected a panel fence which is at least a meter into my bloody patch!

take photos of the fece but with a tape measure around the outside of your plot… show clearly its in your land then dismantle the fence.. sell it for bike parts

I've tipped a bag of rocks I had collected all over his side of the fence.

Where is it?

I'm currently "resting" and could do with a light confrontation to let off some steam. 8)

New to Sky3! ALLOTMENT WARS!!!

sell it for bike parts

what sort of bike has parts made from panel fencing?

Tear it down, then put a new fence into concrete along the true boundary.

If it all goes totally wrong may I suggest the nuclear option:

Japanese Knotweed the plot.

Snipers hiding in his cabbage patch!

Japanese Knotweed the plot.

^ from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

what sort of bike has parts made from panel fencing?

Apollos 😉

what sort of bike has parts made from panel fencing?

Probably not this one:

MrNutt you are obliged to start taking photos to make this a killer thread "of win" 😀

This battle will be won in badger hours I can feel it 😀

It's not "his side of the fence". Technically both sides of the fence are yours. Why not paint it with a mural of some sort?

you must have some serious patience mate, this type of thing just winds me up like you wouldnt believe. just nick the new fence int he dead of night and bin it miles away where he'll never find it!

Those forks look completely unsuitable for that wooden tandem…

Time for a bonfire methinks!

Second thoughts. Storm into the council offices and demand to speak to the Allotment Officer and you're not leaving until you do. Talk VERY loudly and do lots of hand waving and generally make them feel uncomfortable until something is done about it.

IT IS MY NEIGHBOUR! Either that or the **** multiplied.

I presume he's left the fence panel for you as a gift, being on your side and all. Great timing as you "need" to start a bonfire (hint hint) to keep warm on these chilly nights. Perhaps he'd also like to warm his hands on the fire that love built?

maybe its a gift? return the favour with a trojan horse and camp out inside it with a pitch fork

Maybe he genuinely believes that the fence is in the correct place? Have you measured to be sure? Maybe measure with him to try and agree? If you win and make him feel he's lost out he could seek revenge; win-win it's the only way!

Pave your plot and advertise it online as a new dogging spot.

Have you tried putting your toe sheddings in his cabbages?

I've tipped a bag of rocks I had collected all over his side of the fence.

Not a smart move. I suspect you're going to be getting another letter from the council.

You know that all the rocks landed on your bit of allotment but that won't be the story he tells in his complaint about you. He wants you booted off and chucking more rocks onto what he sees as his land is just ammo for him. It's shame that the council sound so disinterested or you could get them to come out and measure where he's put the fence. Sadly until you can get them interested it's your word against his and they're his mates.

Hora has it paint a big f off mural on his side of the fence, maybe you could base it on gay porn? use your land on his side of the fence as your new loo

hook up a power supply and monitor showing two girls 1 cup on repeat?

I've been on your MySpace page. You should sing at him.

I don't see how he can complain about you storing rocks on your own allotment.

I was thinking, you said he was of the opinion that you'd "no right to be there" – perhaps he'd back off if that opinion was changed? Lay on a sob story, the allotment was your grandad's, this is the only connection you have with him now that he's sadly passed away, and this argument is very very upsetting.

The tit for tat approach stands a good chance of getting out of control. Soon as you retalliate, you lose the moral high ground.

On the upside, someone's given you a free fence.

I don't see how he can complain about you storing rocks on your own allotment.

You're confusing facts with the tale he'll tell his mates at the council.

Yeah, but you make enough of a stink and one of his mates at the council will eventually go "for christ's sake Bill, will you knock it off, that bloody bloke's round here every day kicking off about it."