My bloody allotment is being taken over!

  • This topic has 266 replies, 112 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by  Marin.
Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 267 total)
  • My bloody allotment is being taken over!
  • Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Elfinsafety – Member
    Get me down there. I'll sort the bastard out. Time I've finished with him, he won't be able to look at a vegetable without crying….

    😯

    What would Shami Chakrabarti do?

    konabunny
    Member

    if you don't need the land: "I'm happy to let you work this strip <points> because it obviously means a lot to you and you do it well but if you keep moving the bloody rope from the proper boundary I'm going to have to kill you".

    LHS
    Member

    Dig lots of shallow graves then start talking to your spade muttering things like:

    "we'll show him"
    "who's next"
    "i liked the way the last one squealed"

    cranberry
    Member

    It's fair to warn him once:

    MrNutt
    Member

    Well I contacted the council and did snow serious digging, turns out that he is the exfinance director and was given the allotment a far few years ago after a particularly nasty incident which meant that he had to move house, whilst I feel sorry for the fella he is being a complete arse now, I'm not going to give up my family plot as I'm committed to it working, why the he'll should I just because he wants to oust me?

    cranberry
    Member

    "particularly nasty incident"

    Tell us more.

    Feeling sorry for him or not, doesn't give him teh right to be an arse though! In fact, he should probably know better.

    Oh, and any info on the 'Nasty Incident' would appease the voyeuristic part of me!

    coffeeking
    Member

    Either move it back and plant some stuff there, take photos and if he turfs it out complain to council, wait for him to plant/grow stuff and then harvest it yourself, or just leave a strip and as he encroaches just dig it back out again.

    Zedsdead
    Member

    "was given the allotment a far few years ago after a particularly nasty incident"

    So what!

    And in any case he was given his allotment, not yours.

    Here's 2 realistic options. If he keeps trying to take your patch then surely he is breaching the rules? In that case escelate it with the council and make it very clear to them that you will take it right to the top. It will be him that gets kicked off the allotments.

    Other option, tell him you would be happy for him to give you a hand in assisting you with your lot, but remind him it's yours.

    In fact I would just go with the first option. Maybe take it to the point where he gets a stern warning.

    If he keeps doing it then take it all the way – he only has himself to blame.
    And get down there more, do a bit of research and find out what are the easiest plants to keep etc…

    Premier Icon bruneep
    Subscriber

    find out what are the easiest plants to keep etc…

    weeds are the easiest to keep.

    Xylene
    Member

    what are the easiest plants to keep etc…

    Weeds

    MrNutt
    Member

    Something about his family being persecuted, a very nasty affair by all accounts, I does seem like the abused is now turning into an abuser πŸ™

    bigyinn
    Member

    How about planting a couple of rows of bombers in the boundary area?

    Zedsdead
    Member

    It's nothing to do with you though.

    He's very obviously not gotten over it. That's his problem not yours.

    timc
    Member

    choke him out

    or

    land mine

    Could rent you out a couple of my daughters Giant Snails, should munch through his entire patch in no time at all

    MrNutt
    Member

    hmm so the council aren't interested, neither are the other allotment owners, although they all openly dislike this fella, it would seem that terrorism is my only option?

    Letter to council formally lodging a complaint stating that you will escalate up teh council heirachy if you don't hear anything within 2 weeks. That way, the underlings know they are in for a bollocking if they don't take it seriously

    Perhaps his family was persecuted due to this man's actions in the first place. Sounds like a proper little allotment nazi. Take the fight to the man and you can be an allotment hero (with gammy toes)

    MSP
    Member

    Keep complaining to the council, they probably hope you will stop before they have to actually do something.

    rig one of the posts up to an alarm and a cunning booby trap with a hidden camera to capture it all (and him)

    hora
    Member

    Write to the council informing them that you are formally considering a tender process to your own complaint. This will excite the person who receives it soo much he/she will write back requesting to be part of the administrative process.

    thomthumb
    Member
    MrNutt
    Member

    The council have made it clear they are not going to help, this guys better connected than I ever would be with that bunch of nefarious rats, not too long ago he rollered the strip that I'd just seeded πŸ™

    IanMunro
    Member

    Have you considered just punching him in the face?

    alexxx
    Member

    I had a problem with an old woman taking over my patch, I hired Jean Reno, not seen her since?

    thomthumb
    Member

    have you spoken to him?

    MrNutt
    Member

    yes, other allotment owners have threatened him! he just claims to be persecuted!

    Premier Icon convert
    Subscriber

    You could of course go the other way – you don't have the time or resources to do a proper job on the whole of your patch whilst he clearly has time on his hands. You could have a face to face conversation where you state you are aware of what he is doing with his rope & find it quite amusing (making clear that "plot politics" are a bit petty & beneath you!). Tell him that if he is willing to agree & abide by the exact boundary you could be willing to lend him a proportion of your plot on a season by season basis until you are in a position to manage the whole thing by yourself.

    He might be a git, but if you can bring an old boy like this on board they have a wealth of knowledge to pass on and as everyone else hates him, you could become his little project. Win win.

    Tried talking, he won't listen and has basically said that he's got more right to be there than me!

    So he admits he's taking over your land but thinks he's OK to do that?

    Is he willing to discuss this with you and the council? If he thinks he's right then he should be able to get the council to agree? Maybe rent him some of your patch in return for 1/2 the veg. Or just take it then prove it's on your land.

    Sui
    Member

    +1 for Mr Munro's idea. moody old git, like everyone else has said, just blatantly move the rope whilst he is there, and firmly state "if you move it again your nose is getting smashed across your face"!!

    Stoner
    Member

    get all the STWers over to your plot for a kinder-esque stomping?

    Xylene
    Member

    Go get some snails and start throwing them into his plot when he is there.

    If the council won't do anything, contact your local MP and tell them what is happening and you fear corruption in the council. Mention that you will take it higher up in the offical government complaints as you can until somebody answers.

    Stand back and watch the fireworks fly.

    write "from all of us" in bleach over his allotment.

    rip the rope out whilst glaring at him, breathing very heavily then hold it high above your head screaming "i will avenge you grandad!!"

    arrest him for trespassing and damage of property

    threaten to call the papers about a "council protects one of their own" story

    MASSIVE fence

    move the rope back then stand in his way, naked.

    stumpy01
    Member

    Could you not use the piece of allotment directly by the boundary as a 'storage area' for a long, thin strip of builders rubble, large rocks, iron pipes etc. to make more of a permanent boundary?

    Just move the rope to the right place, dump all your essential stuff in your new 'storage area' and that'll be that.

    bigsi
    Member

    I've got some bind weed you can have if you want. Once it takes hold he's doomed 😈

    GEDA
    Member

    Document and photograph everything. Write to the council and ask for a written reply stating why they will not assist you. Ask for the plans for the allotment and the diagram with your plot on it. If you have a friend who is a solicitor it might help or you could gather some evidence and get the local paper involved.

    sobriety
    Member

    I've got some bind weed you can have if you want. Once it takes hold he's doomed

    And so are you. πŸ‘Ώ

    And everyone else on the allotment! 😈

    Build a pump track over your and his patch?

    wombat
    Member

    There is a legally defined size for an allotment which is about 1 16th of an acre (roughly 250 square metres in dodgy euro measurements πŸ˜‰ ) although some half plots of 1 32nd of an acre (125 square metres) are allocated on occasion if demand is high or someone can't cope with a full plot.

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 267 total)

The topic ‘My bloody allotment is being taken over!’ is closed to new replies.