Mrs G passed away last night in her sleep

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  • Mrs G passed away last night in her sleep
  • Premier Icon gnusmas
    Subscriber

    The service went well, as well as any funeral can. Thankyou to everyone again for all you have done, and thankyou for the STW card I received. Genuinely touched. I briefly met Saxonrider for the first time and saw Ambrose again. Apparently molgrips was coming but i didn’t see or meet him.

    It is eerily quiet here tonight. Kids all doing their own things, happy as can be expected.

    For the past couple of weeks, i have had people calling, phone calls, messages etc, but now nothing. I had something to focus on, things i had to do and a lot of stuff needed sorting. Now i have nothing to focus on, i am completely lost.

    It is a sickening feeling. Now the day has arrived and the service and reception are over i suddenly feel very hollow. Completely empty.

    Aside from the fact i still desperately want Lyanda back with me, and would do anything to make that happen, knowing i can’t, i am at a standstill. Numb even. I would rather have a lifetime of no sleep, running around and being called to help do things than another day of this.

    At this moment in time i honestly don’t know how i will continue. How i am going to survive. How i will be a Dad and Mum to our children. I understand that i have to do these things, and it will slowly get easier day by day, but, the heart wrenching emptiness i feel inside is nothing i have felt before.

    I know its tough .

    I know its  a horrible void that you think will never go away

    I know it will  get better.

    Be strong for your kids, maybe go and spend time with each of them indiviually. They need you now more than ever.

    Premier Icon Ming the Merciless
    Subscriber

    Nothing I can say, bar K.B.O.

    Premier Icon bikebouy
    Subscriber

    Jeeze Man, you’ve got it tough.

    I have sadly no good news other than take each step day by day and hug your kids, lots.

    Its thier immediate life that will focus you, they need and love you so enjoy the time spent with them.

    All the very best, truely.

    i don’t have kids and often regret it,…cherish them, your wife lives on through them,..the sun is always shining behind the darkest cloud.

    p.s. make sure there is always a toilet roll in the loo,..i’ve just had to do the dreaded spread eagle walk!

    All the best.

    Keith

    choppersquad
    Member

    Now could be the time to show your wife just how strong you really are.

    You might not feel it, but make her proud.

    Everyone on here including myself can’t help but be moved by everything you’ve gone through, and nothing would make me happier than knowing that you’re coping however hard that may be.

    Premier Icon rwb61
    Subscriber

    I too have have no majic wand, but how you have dealt with what you have been through is amazing.

    As so many have said time will help ,but also don’t be afraid of asking your children for help ,both practical and emotional, I’d be pretty sure through their grief they will also be thinking of you but possibly don’t know what to do, you giving them direction and including them may well help all of you.

    Love and very best wishes to you all.

    freeagent
    Member

    So very sorry for your loss.

    There is some great advice in various posts above, especially the comment about leaning on your kids a little for support – mine were amazing when my brother died a few years back, just sitting together on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn watching a daft film made me feel better.

    Try to talk to people, speaking about it is difficult but it helps.

    Soon after my brother died, a friend who’d recently lost her Mum explained loss to me in a way which has stuck in my mind.

    Losing someone close leaves a hole in your life. to start with you get out of bed, immediately fall down the hole and spend all day trying to get out. it is exhausting, and you can’t see any end.

    But then one day you get up, and try to jump over the hole, you slip, but manage to scramble out. This gets better every day, and eventually you can get up, acknowledge the hole, step over it and get through your day. You’ll have bad days when you fall straight down, but they gradually get less and less.

    The hole is always there, but you learn to live with it.

    take care and keep posting on here..

    Matt x

    Premier Icon gnusmas
    Subscriber

    This is the poem i wrote one emotional morning for Lyanda.

    Poem for Lyanda

    Premier Icon gnusmas
    Subscriber

    It has now been a month, and what a tough month it has been. It will, unfortunately, only continue. While there have been distractions, there have been no high points, only low and even lower points. Trying to support the kids, staying strong and positive for them while battling my personal emotions is extremely difficult.

    As with most things that don’t get discussed, what appears ok on the outside is most definitely not what is happening on the inside. I understand it is difficult to talk about what has unfortunately happened. Sometimes i want or need to talk about it, other times i just want to talk. About anything. Anything to distract myself.

    I am living in a very dark and lonely place. I have lost my best friend, my angel, my wife. While times were tough before, i would trade the way i feel right now for a lifetime of that in a heartbeat. Feeling heartbroken is an understatement.

    But, i have to be there for the kids, as and when they need me. I fear i will fail them as i struggle to hold myself together each day. Fighting the tears each day so they don’t see me cry. Until it is eerily quiet when they are sleeping, when it all comes out. Every night is painful, and every morning the cycle begins again.

    Without the support i have received i don’t think i would be able to carry on. Without the generosity i don’t how how i could survive. I thank you all again for all you have done. More than anyone will ever realise or understand.

    Lady Gresley
    Member

    I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel, but remember everyone is here for you, whenever you need anything.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    I can’t say much apart from this.

    It gets better. Slowly.

    It becomes bearable. Then, one amazing day, I promise you, you will smile.

    And promise me that when you can, you’ll look into the possibility of some grief counseling? It was a genuine help for lots of people I know.

    And just keep talking, about anything you like, lots of people are listening.

    Love to all,

    Pete.

    cynic-al
    Member

    Just in case it’s not been mentioned, bereavement counselling from Cruse?

    A friend got a lot out of it and it was pay by donation if you can.

    TiRed
    Member

    Your kids will keep you strong. They did my mother who had to look after three of us. And they are for my brother in law who is looking after their four. Spent the week with them doing kiddycare last week. Two years in We talk about my sister all the time.  Of course there is a huge hole. And the house just reeks of her in every corner. But it will get better and there will be good times.

    I promised my nephews and nieces I would be there for all significant events where their mother could not be. It was the leaving primary school service for number three.

    Premier Icon granny_ring
    Subscriber

    A neighbour has lost her husband recently and has mentioned about bereavement support payment if you didn’t know about it Alan?

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