Most mindbendingly stupid thing you've ever heard?

Mine has to be from Don't Tell The Bride the other day:

Best man sent a text to the bride to be: "We're looking after Gavin, having a nice quiet night in. We are definitely not anywhere near Eastern Europe."

Bride to be: "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! WHERE'S EASTERN EUROPE?"

Clue's in the name!

"What's the capital of France?"

"Spain."

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkKqihEUmH4

Oh wow i really like that song!

have you got it o CD or Compact Disk?

from back in the day when tapes were still socially acceptable.

I heard this on the train yesterday when two women of a certain age were discussing (quite loudly) a mutual friend's medical problems…
"We both know it's nothing to do with how old she is but it's all because of her age" 😯

You couldn't make it up……

bravohotel9er – Member
No opinions either way, have seen many good and bad examples over the years.

This seems like an opportune moment to recount an amusing little tattoo related conversation I overheard 5 years ago on the train from Bournemouth to Southampton though…

Lad 1: I was gonna get a tattoo done today.

Lad 2: Oh yeah, what of?

Lad 1: Just text and that, reading 'CARPE DIEM'

Lad 2: How come you didn't then?

Lasd 1: Couldn't be f&*%$d, I'll get it done some other time.

The irony was lost on both of them.

Amused me when I saw this on a thread recently about tattoos

“You can’t say anything about immigrants… all these eastern Europeans are coming in, where are they flocking from?”

Hmmm, sounds like the comments of a bigot to me!

Mrs. Rickos looked at our boys arm bands (same as them up there) and said "Weird. Why does it say Poo 1? And what have a pair of glasses got to do with armbands?"

"Can you get a suntan at night?"

what are the ingredients of milk?

"Tony Blair and New Labour have won an historic third term"

To be fair, the opposition was almost as bad though.

Lifer – Member
"What's the capital of France?"

"Spain."

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkKqihEUmH4

Justin Bieber – "We don't say that in America" (German). He's not wrong you know!

just roll into it, you'll be fine, ground looks soft anyway

At work we once asked one of the waitresses to draw the outline of the UK.

It's impossible to explain with words how funny the result was.

in a conversation about GPS,

"so where are the satellites then"

Was in a JD sports shop in the queue, and they had a 15% sale on. One customer in front of me was trying to buy a pair of socks that usually were £1.

It took the two female shop assistants about 10 minutes to work out what 15% of a £1 was. And at the end one of them still wasn't convinced.

"In the beginning,…" You know the rest.

My brother's former wife, when discussing religion, actually said "Religion never did anyone any harm".
Didn't know whether to laugh or punch her.

Overhears in a Chinese a few months ago..

"Come on James, eat up all your seaweed, its good for you, it comes from the sea."

I think you'll find FAIL on 2 counts there mate as:

A) it isn't good for you as its fried.
B) cabbages don't grow in the sea.

My wife on seeing "Q Ahead" on a motorway gantry, whats a kw?

At college I was once asked by a really thick Irishman:

"So you're gay. Does that mean you have sex with lesbians?"

He was soooo thick he once asked if the Channel Tunnel was going to be used to take boats to France.

He was on a course to be a teacher too! 😆

Ya got me there, Pooch. What IS a kw?

IGMC

Former Mrs MTG "Whereabouts in Birmingham did you used to live ?"
MTG "By the docks"
Former Mrs MTG "Oh, I see"

Yesterday I answered my brand new front door in my brand new porch next to my brand new windows (house renovation) to a man from Anglian who promptly asks me if I'd like a new porch, front door or windows.

I just started at him with bewilderment at his stupidity for ages before I could think of anything polite to say (I was dragged up proper…see).

An American person once asked me and a bunch of mates "so what part of England is Wales in…"

My group of mates were all from the valleys and were delighted…

Presumably (without googling) you know the difference between the Netherlands and Holland then, fadda? 😉

An oldy but a goody!!

Miss Teen USA 2007 – South Carolina answers a question

I once knew a very daft Welsh rent boy (I kid you not) and he butted in to a conversation about the vatican saying…

'I think you're wrong, because the catholic church is in my village and always has been.'

He also thoughts dragons were merely extinct and not imaginary. Oh how we laughed.

Out on a roadie ride at the weekend I was bonking a bit, so I stopped off at a Tesco petrol station to get a lucozade and a twix. Standing there dripping sweat in my mitts, helmet and bike jersey, dozy bint behind counter says "pump number?"

Ah, that reminds me of a time I ordered a milkshake in a well known fast food store…. 'would you like ketchup with that sir?'

To be fair they just get stuck in a routine, asking questions without thinking….

Like an ex who had a temp job at National Rail Enquiries who would frequently answer her mobile…. 'Which station are you travelling from?'

I work with someone who is not the sharpest tool in the box.

Recently she asked if Dinosaurs were real or made up. She also asked when the 19th C was. Then when I was explaining how to use a map and compass she didnt realise that a compass needle pointed North.

At work we once asked one of the waitresses to draw the outline of the UK.

Well I think I would struggle to get the southern border of Northern Ireland right.

Lots of these are not dumb or stupid, just ignorant.

At 6 o'clock someone will ask me 'do you want a beer?'

My reply 'You need to ask?' 😛

A friend of mine (who is normally quite clever) was having a conversation with another friend about why ambulances have "AMBULANCE" written backwards on the bonnet. Clever friend reliably informed her friend that it was so dogs could read it.

I'm not sure which is more weird, that dogs can read, or that they read backwards?

I'm not sure which is more weird, that dogs can read, or that they read backwards?

I would think the weirder thing is that dogs would have a need to know what it was? 😀

someone told me once that they believed in a god

Just this afternoon in an office with knackered air con we recieved this gem:

"Helpful tip ‘Layers’ we all are affected by temperature in different ways, by wearing layer this lets to take a layer off if too hot of add a layer if you feel too cold. Simple but can be an effective way to help."

Not only is the grammar ridiculous, but are they justifying working your pants?

someone told me once that they believed in a god

That might be a dog spelt backwards though.

a) economics
b) weather forecasting

Presumably (without googling) you know the difference between the Netherlands and Holland then, fadda?

As a Welshman, I do know, and I make a point of getting it right!

Along similar lines to Dave360, the Maindy cycling track in Cardiff is open to the public, adjacent to a leisure centre and swimming pool. I went in to buy my ticket dressed in full lycra, helmet, gloves, bike shades, couldn't have looked more like a cyclist – fed up with stating the obvious I just put my money on the counter. The girl looked at me and said "Swim, is it?"