Bloke 1: Overweight and ginger*, bad BO, bad breath, listens to very loud and tinny drum’n’bass all day, last night’s dinner all down his front, wears the same shorts and sandals ALL year round, huffs and puffs (a lot), yawns loudly all morning, slurps his coffee, bangs his desk when he’s annoyed, takes his daily dump at 9.15AM thereby polluting the only gents’ toilet for the rest of the morning. I could go on.
Bloke 2: Very noisy eater (nibbles at apples especially badly), loud nose-breather, faggy breath, smokers’ cough and is the most miserable fecker I’ve ever met. I could go on.
I, on the other hand, am a joy to share an office with 🙂
(*I am neither fattist nor gingerist, he added hastily)