Monday Moaning….. Justifiable homicide?

I’m all for law and order, a none-politicised police force, an independent judiciary, trial by your peers, and all that, as the cornerstone of a civilised society

Well… up to a point.

I do believe there should be certain exceptions to this commonly accepted norm, when certain behaviour is involved. I think that in certain circumstances, certain people should be exempt, and you should be perfectly within your rights to beat them to death with their own shoes, and bury their body in a shallow grave on the moors. No questions asked.

Today I’m nominating the monumentally annoying **** I’m (thankfully temporarily) working with. He has the attention span of a goldfish with ADHD. He sticks the radio on one channel, then just randomly changes the station. He’s been doing this what seems like about every ten minutes. And to top this off, he has absolutely appalling taste in music to begin with. So far today we’ve had – on constant rotation – Radio 1 (seriously – he’s in his 40’s!), Radio 2 (an ocean of blandness), Absolute 80’s (I ****ing hated 80’s music in the 80’s!), Magic FM (beyond awful!), and Smooth FM (there are simply no words!). He’s been repeatedly, politely asked to pack it in, but its like he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it.

I’m going to ****ing murderise him soon!!!

And I think I should be allowed too as well. With extreme prejudice. No jury would convict me, surely?

Your nominations for behaviors that legitimise murder? GO!….

Your nominations for behaviors that legitimise murder? GO!….

Americanisms.

People who write “murderise” for a verb rather than “murder” 😉

People who eat cereal at work with their mouth open. Crunch crunch slurp squish DIE

Anyone who takes part in a phone in on BBC Radio 6

Tell him to try Solar Radio….

Voiciferous vegans.
Vegans? Absolutely no issue, and yes, I’m more than willing to discuss the ins and outs, but on 2 conditions:
1: We both listen, discuss, and respect the other person’s viewpoint and both back up or assertions with genuine, provable facts.
2: We don’t do this within the first 20 minutes of being introduced. I’m sure there are many other facets to you. I’d hope there are to me than my food ethics.

Ask if you can put radio 4 on?

Some chap that just walked past my office window earlier. I’m sure he’ll have done something. Murder first, ask questions later. It’s always stood me in good stead.

Binners, granted I can see the annoyance factor, but surely a simpler and less life changing/ devastating solution is to turn of the set and remove the cord/ battery?

He’s playing it via his Mac. Oh… just to ratchet up to maximum annoyance, he also whistles along cheerily to shit 80’s songs. Anyone who does that deserves to die, surely?

Hammer thru the Mac, in that instance

Luggage carousels at the airport.. Specifically anyone standing in front of the yellow line/in the hatched area and thus making it impossible to actually get your case off when it eventually comes round because:

a) You can’t **** see it because of all the people; and
b) If you’re lucky enough to spot it through a baws hair line of sight there’s no space to approach the bloody carousel!!

ARRRGHHHHHH!! I had this on Friday.. not much you can do with a) but on b) I was quite happy with myself for just shouting “move” and smashing our suitcases off anyones legs that didn’t listen. Inconsiderate arseholes the lot of them. This would be punishable by death in my world.

You’re right binbins – there is no excuse for 80s music ouside of a Butlins weekend of middle-aged living in the past sad gits convention.
Save yourself murdering the prat – just give him some bloody headphones.

He’s playing it via his Mac

Apple allow Smooth Radio to be played on their fancy pants Macintosh computers?

Anyone who disagrees with me on any subject.

Voiciferous vegans.
Vegans? Absolutely no issue, and yes, I’m more than willing to discuss the ins and outs, but on 2 conditions:
1: We both listen, discuss, and respect the other person’s viewpoint and both back up or assertions with genuine, provable facts.
2: We don’t do this within the first 20 minutes of being introduced. I’m sure there are many other facets to you. I’d hope there are to me than my food ethics.

Voiciferous omnivores who want vegans to wait 20 minutes into the conversation whilst only managing 10 themselves.

Anyone who disagrees with me on any subject.

No you don’t.

– Radio 1 (seriously – he’s in his 40’s!), Radio 2 (an ocean of blandness), Absolute 80’s (I ****ing hated 80’s music in the 80’s!), Magic FM (beyond awful!), and Smooth FM (there are simply no words!). He’s been repeatedly, politely asked to pack it in, but its like he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it.

Just be thankful he’s not put Radio 6 on

People who play drum kits in residential areas without any soundproofing.

Anti-social ass hats, buy some sound proofing or play them in a field in the middle of nowhere.

People with runny noses who constantly sniff, but don’t blow them!

Sniff! Sniff! Sniff!

He’s playing it via his Mac. Oh… just to ratchet up to maximum annoyance, he also whistles along cheerily to shit 80’s songs. Anyone who does that deserves to die, surely?

Have you considered duct taping headphones to him?

The 52%.

(To clarify, irritating as i found the vote, this is a joke)

He’s playing it via his Mac.

You had me at Mac, there is no place in hell hot enough.

I’ve been brought up by tolerant parents, but the irascible child in me thinks saying:

‘FFS STOP WHISTLING!’, would be entirely reasonable.

If you make it to the end of the day without doing or saying something unfriendly, you’re officially a peaceful Buddhist. 🙂

Edit: I don’t suppose you can begrudge him his cheery mood. Bless him for being happy on a Monday.

Follow his example and start humming cheerily…it might help? Anybody who comes in may wonder what the secret to such happiness is. You can tell them it’s Buddhism and help make the world a better place*. 😉

*I think Buddhism actually might do.

He deserves to die just for the whistling.

binners – Member
… music …

Music at workplace?

That’s the problem. 😯

a) You can’t **** see it because of all the people; and
b) If you’re lucky enough to spot it through a baws hair line of sight there’s no space to approach the bloody carousel!!

and c) You are standing patiently behind the line and some twunt stands in front of you.

You should be allowed to snap their neck and dump them on the luggage belt

Return the favour, with a single Slayer track on repeat, loudly.

For all other purposes headphones work well.

Luggage carousels at the airport..

Haha… I had this very experience yesterday after a very long day and a delayed flight I picked up 2 x 19.9Kg bags (yes I am that strong) and swung them around to flatten the idiots standing in front of the belt. The miscreants must have spotted the venom in my eyes as I barged through and they had backed off meaning my bags failed to register a hit. The swinging almost toppled me over 😳

Used to take out loads of carousel C!”£s when snowboarding …. used to take my boardbag off side ways 😈

Noisy eaters. There shouldn’t even be a trial, as soon as the volume reaches a certain level, a bolt of lightning fries them.

My vote is anyone that thinks Steve Wright In The Afternoon is a creditable radio show and that it should be nominated for some award or other.

#blandtoids

Anyone who tunelessly whistles whilst wandering about the town.

Anyone and everyone who drops rubbish in the street or dumps it out of car/van windows.
Slow death for all of them.

As for Binners mate – I wouldn’t be that bothered about the ‘music’; it’s the incessant changing that would press my exterminate button.

People who wear strong aftershave / perfume and drive hire cars.

It transfers to the seatbelt and then transfers to the next driver.

midlifecrisis – Member
People who wear strong aftershave / perfume and drive hire cars.

It transfers to the seatbelt and then transfers to the next driver.

man starts the alibi for why he came home yesterday smelling of perfume to his wife……….

If I could dispatch everyone that irritated me most days, I’d be a war criminal.

People that don’t indicate.

Hung at the crossroad as a warning to others.

Anyone who takes part in a phone in on BBC Radio 6

I hear you brother.

I get very tired, very quickly of any “phone ins” on radio (there are occasional lapses in our house into R2 consumption which is far worse)it’s just fn lazy of the presenters/producers.
Radio presenters asking “Crazy Dan” with his logburner, artisan bread, drinking organic gin, watching the sun go down from his man cave listening to the toons to come and interrupt said Toons….DOES MY HEAD IN.

Arrogant Communicators.

We’re kept pretty busy in work, there’s a robust communication channel for our day to day work, and the usual methods for everything else, phone, e-mail, mobiles etc.

Far too many people abuse the system, but they’ve been educated.

It’s the phonemoaners that bother me – they call my DDI, it’s busy, they phone my mobile, which I can’t answer, because guess what? I’m on the desk phone – do they leave a voice mail? do they ****, they hang up and call again, and again, and again, and again – finally when I speak to them they want to pour their guts out, off-load a months’ worth of work onto me without detail, hang up and go on with your life – this is usually followed up with weeks, if not months of missed calls, voices mails, snatched conversations around “did I tell you?” “You were meant to do this” “when did I say that?” because they won’t not ever – send, or reply to a **** e-mail, the best way to exchange complex information is via **** e-mail, because it doesn’t have to remember, it’s always there, it doesn’t need your complete and undivided attention NOW because it’s an on-demand service.