Kicked the GF out for going to the movies with another guy. Unreasonable?

Is it this guy? Gold extraction a speciality.

Gold in sewage?

I’m guessing the ex might be gold mining….

Unbalanced friendship boundaries never go well. Firsthand experience of that.
Apparently its not possible for a guy to have a friend who is female – let alone a best friend.

Oh – Rachel you bought a BMW! 😯
A proper reaction would’ve been a Kawasaki – take note for next time 😛

I think they’ve both been guilty of urine extraction…

So the OP has been with this girl for 15 yrs, more than some people are married.

For one side of the equation to loose interest it is very rarely just their fault, in fact it is never just 1 persons fault. OP have you really looked at yourself to see where you have failed in the relationship?

To me it doesn’t sound like OP wants to stay with gf any how, he certainly doesn’t want to fight for it.

What film did she go and see?

Did she have any thoughts on whether Lenardo deserved the Oscar? Or whether it was as though they felt an obligation to finally give him one? So to speak

Frankenstein, you said:-

Claims that she doesn’t need anyone but me but now she said she doesn’t need me anymore.

And:-

She won’t contact me as she’s stubborn and I don’t think she cares anymore TBH but sent me a text saying I was looking for a way out and trapping her. I’m in no way controlling, ironically it was her who decided who my friends are.

It sounds to me like she is the one looking for a way out without having the guts to be honest with you but is using this guy as leverage.

Whatever way I think you have done the right thing. Personally I wouldn’t stand for my GF having the level of intimate contact that she is having with this other guy which can only go one way I think. He’s obviously like a dog on heat that she is paying him any sort of attention and will be ‘in like Flynn’ given half a chance.

If you need any more grist for the mill imagine the long telephone conversations she is now having with chummy complaining about how her boyfriend doesn’t understand her.

You’re well off out of it. Be strong and move on.

A proper reaction would’ve been a Kawasaki – take note for next time

Well, I am looking to upgrade it to another BMW, but one with 160bhp 😉

Rachel

Apparently its not possible for a guy to have a friend who is female – let alone a best friend.

Sadly a lot of people of both sexes think this is true.

I have a similar number of male and female friends. I mostly know the husband’s or partners of my female friends, sometime we’ll all meet up sometimes it can just be two of us which never seems like a problem for anyone. I never realised that this might be unusual behaviour until the advent of social media and the glimpses that it allows into other peoples lives.

For me the reason to end the relationship wouldn’t be just the fact she went to the cinema with another bloke, rather the simple reason that if she cares so little for the OP’s feelings that she expects him to put up with that behaviour then she doesn’t really deserve his attention in the first place.

Well he bought her chocolates yesterday.

This is what I find most shocking. That any man in this day and age would think the way to a woman’s heart is to buy her chocolates? In fact it so ludicrous that it probably proves the innocence of his intentions. TBH if Mrs Daz was given chocolates by a male friend I reckon I’d just take the p*ss out of her rather than chuck her out.

PS. Good luck by the way. I hope it all ends for the best.

What chocolates were they?

A proper reaction would’ve been a Kawasaki – take note for next time
Well, I am looking to upgrade it to another BMW, but one with 160bhp ?

Rachel

R or XR ?

I bought an XR recently 🙂

What chocolates were they?

The OP did state that the gentleman in question was ‘older’ and worked in Gold extraction so this seems the natural choice:

bazzer – XR 😈

All Gold’s – my granny used to eat them.

All Gold’s – my granny used to eat them.

Probably a present from her “neighbour” 🙂

All Gold’s – my granny used to eat them.

Funnily enough my mum’s neighbour gets her a box of all gold every christmas. Wonder if I need to get used to the idea of calling him dad?

allthegear – Have you ridden one yet ?

An ex did the “no female friends” thing to me. Didn’t say it outright but got very annoyed and accused me of cheating at pretty much any contact. I remember when a girl I’d been friends with since infant school offered me a lift to her boyfriends house (all in the same friendship group, going round there for his 21st birthday drinks/party, his parents, relatives and other friends were all there) as she was driving past my front door to get there. I ended up in trouble because we were obviously going to get up to no good during the 5 minute drive.

It was probably all projection as she’d worked her way through pretty much all of her male colleagues by the time we broke up, while acting like I was the one doing something wrong. She probably assumed I was doing the same things she was (I wasn’t).

It may very well have not got that far, or all be completely innocent on her part in this case but it’s still unreasonable for her to set one lot of rules for you that she doesn’t follow herself.

The liquiour one was always nice.

I think it was this?

bazzer – Member
allthegear – Have you ridden one yet ?

Plenty apparently 😆

Its a BMW though Rachel 😯 a BMW….

CharlieMungus – Member
Gold in sewage?

Gold in sewage: http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE50T56120090130

What chocolates were they?

Starfish?

OP, my 2 cents. The other guy is definiteoy trying it on and you ex GF should be aware enough to realise that. As such she’s playing her part in the deception. Its time for a break and if she ready to come back with a proper apology and a better explanation than its your fault then perhaps you can think of a reconsiliation. As for wasting 10 years better to find out now than in another 10.

Good luck.

Now, now Hammy!

Mind you. I do fancy getting my leg over an Italian in the near future, just to try a bit of the other side…

Rachel

Now, now Hammy!

Mind you. I do fancy getting my leg over an Italian in the near future, just to try a bit of the other side…

Rachel

Haha I have a Tuono APRC too, if I had to give one the boot the German would be out the door 🙂

Sadly a lot of people of both sexes think this is true.

I have a similar number of male and female friends. I mostly know the husband’s or partners of my female friends, sometime we’ll all meet up sometimes it can just be two of us which never seems like a problem for anyone.

I never used to worry about this at all and had never even heard of an emotional affair until recently, but now I don’t know what to think – feel a bit weird about having good female friends sometimes now but then I tend to overthink everything!

The physical boundaries are pretty obvious with a friend of the opposite sex (or whatever sex(es) you happen to be into i suppose) but emotional/conversational stuff can be more of a grey area IMO. If you’re quite comfortable around someone and quite good mates you can potentially get into talking about stuff that might not be appropriate or sensible or might be seen as having a bit of a subtext, even if not deliberately. I’m generally quite an open person with my emotions etc with men or women I feel comfortable around but I think that has to have its limits.

I have no doubt that the relationship was doomed. Just as well for all involved it is over. But the question was whether or not kicking her out was unreasonable. I think it would have been reasonable to discuss things with her. Explain your dissatisfaction and agree to separate or let her know you could no longer continue the relationship. Split up? Yes reasonable. Kick her out? No, not reasonable

Think yourselves lucky – an ex gf of mine was convinced I was flirting with people of both sexes and a few in between. Gets very difficult to talk to anyone under those circumstances!

Rachel

Was it this guy?

Bet he is Toight like a Toiger. 😆

On a serious note OP, if what you say is true, she sounds like an insecure fruitloop. Playing games, different rules, manipulative behavior, attention seeking and insecurity are massive red flags in any women. You’ll be glad you got out whilst you did.

On a serious note OP, if what you say is true, she sounds like an insecure fruitloop. Playing games, different rules, manipulative behavior, attention seeking and insecurity are massive red flags in anyone. You’ll be glad you got out whilst you did.

FTFY

Rachel x

another perspective?

10 year old relationship going a bit stale.. gold merchant rocks up and offers a finger of fudge..

Gift horse?

konabunny – Member
What chocolates were they?
Starfish?

How rude!
😆

Maybe she “lightened up”…..

maltesers?

Think

But lower…