I've just eaten a phal…

I often eat a naga in the local curry house. The chilli gives a great flavour so it’s not just hot with nothing but hot flavour, this is normally achieved by curry houses using just cayenne pepper to heat things up rather than chilli. My farts are awesome during the night, often wake myself up. Wife normally sighs as I order one up as she is aware of what will happen in the next 12 hours or so.

Kryton, tomorrow:

Well, here it comes or so I thought. But no, just a round of early morning extreme flatulence although the warm midriff glow has now gone. Back to bed then…

Ah ha.

I had to get back up. Well that was what I’d consider to be a normal movement, sorry to disappoint.

That’s just yesterday’s lunch getting out to a place of safety. I reckon by 10am at the latest your arse will sound like a load of old shoes falling out of a loft.

Gutted about the outcome so far!

That’s just yesterday’s lunch getting out to a place of safety

This.

Much like a decent symphony, it’s only the second movement when the action starts to get going.

For me round one after a curry always seems normal, it’s rounds two and three that make me wince!

Never tackled a phal, had a few hot vindas though.

They were just testing you, next time you order you’ll get the full experience…

I gotta be honest. When I saw the title, I thought it was the start of a “coming out” thread. Very disappointed.

Epic tales on that theme on LFGSS, thread about selling a FOFFA bike turned into pages of crap. Won’t link as some where graphic and a bit rude for here.

OMG. Found it. Laughing so hard I just dribbled.

Don’t read it in the office folks.

I’ve dropped a log in the Fridge many years ago

I’ll never look at kitchen appliances in the same way.

Did you buy it from Currys?

[awesome]Quite enjoy a good phal now and then. I sweat a bit while I’m eating it but otherwise no probs. First one back in my student days was distinctly underwhelming after all the build-up.[/awesome]

As is this one. I’ve managed to get through the morning ok with absolutely no sign of the phal. It’s athough I hadn’t eaten it.

In e last two years – I like hot food – my to,ere de for hot & spicy has dramatically. Reduced to the point that having “hot” marinade in Nando’s , means a. Rest on the pan before leaving. It’s not just Nandos marinade either. So it’s really confused me that a curry hotter than the sun appears to have completely vanished – if you’ll forgive the pun – up it’s own arse.

It might not be on its way out but i think its messing with your head!!

In e last two years – I like hot food – my to,ere de for hot & spicy has dramatically. Reduced to the point that having “hot” marinade in Nando’s , means a. Rest on the pan before leaving

??

Good man for the update. 🙂

I’ve found that it’s only fresh chilis that give me the Cash Rash. Cooked up in sauces it’s much less of an issue.

That’s just yesterday’s lunch getting out to a place of safety. I reckon by 10am at the latest your arse will sound like a load of old shoes falling out of a loft.

Proper lol’ed in the office – how embarrassing. 🙁

So skip rat – that’s ispelling for you.

I was stating my tolerance to hot food has reduced dramatically over the last two years….

thegreatape – Member

That’s just yesterday’s lunch getting out to a place of safety. I reckon by 10am at the latest your arse will sound like a load of old shoes falling out of a loft.

^ One of the funniest comments I have read on here. Genius!

Good to know kryton, for a second there i thought it was melting you from the inside out!! 😉

Ha. Weirdly, I’m not…

This thread is the reason why I keep coming back to STW 😆

Kryton….keep a bog roll in the fridge…you’ll need it when you’ve got that
[/url]
“fire in the hole” moment

we also have a healthy stock of assorted chillis in the fridge/freezer…consisting of a few bhut jolokias,some dorset nagas and loads of naga moriches in addition to the standard green finger chillies…
we also have a few jars of this stuff too
[/url]
this pickle is 70% naga morich (the dorset naga is a substrain of this)

Proper lol’ed in the office – how embarrassing.

+1. I’m now trying to stifle aftershock giggles. Good job most of the office left at 5.

OP can I thank you for cheering me up with this thread. Ta very.

We’ve got a curry challenge in our squadron, Xacutti from Jamura in bath that they spice up for us, 7x hotter than a vindaloo they claim.
After completing it I had burning ears, face and pretty much all my insides. Then cue being woken in the night with crippling stomach pain.
Still, didn’t chunder like 50% of the people who tried it!

It could get worse. My stomach is grumbling I like mad now and I. 20 mins I have a hard turbo session. I’m really hoping that the drops/TT position I’m about to spend an hour in doesn’t force things along – although I do have a an outside toilet next to e mancave, bib shorts aren’t always akin to quick removal.

bog roll in the fridge

The local curry centre owner has a very nice box on the parcel shelf of his car, something seen regularly in other cars around town. After a late night stuffing as much as we could manage, my brother and I decided that these pretty boxes actually contained a chilled bog roll, for obvious reasons. Either that or the charred ringpieces of previous victims…

Have you had any poos today other than this morning? If you have then you may have slain the monster. If not then I would approach your next visit to the pan with great caution. And savlon.

Not yet Yossarian.

I just applied so,e chamois creme with utmost caution so as not to cause a disturbance. Hopefully the next hour will go smoothly.

I have a hard turbo session

ooooh, you’re going to sweat it out. Maybe wear goggles, wouldn’t want phaal in the eyes.

I find a proper hot curry blocks me for a bit. Just to let you know like…

See now I’m worried for you. If there is molten evil lurking within you that oh so innocent turbo session make have woken the shit demon from his slumber.

Good luck and don’t try and hold it in.

Still not blown yet ! the horror to come.

2 tales of cycling action 🙂

Got chatting with an ex-pro roadie at the Core show, somehow we got on the topic of a rolling poo, or in laymans terms, how to have a dump mid peleton.
The method involved taking one roadie cloth cycling cap, stuffing said cap down your bib short’s and getting it just in the right spot so you can crimp one off straight into the cap.
Withdraw cap cafefully, and hand to some unsuspecting spectator who assumes he has nice race souvenier 🙂

Greg Lemond in his tour days had gastric flu. Being a pro he kept riding. No one would draft him and he was easy to find in the peleton as there was big gap behind him.
His sickness seeped through his tights, down his legs and saddle, and dripped onto the back wheel……and sprayed anyone who got too close 🙂

Will Krytons bike have it’s paint stripped by phalpoo, will he follow through. will he make it to the bog in time, will the bib’s be a hurdle to clear too many.

Will look back later, lets be carefull out there 🙂

Well if turbo sessions were wind powered I’d be top of the charts. No action yet, but whipper snapper was right, I seem to have spicy/garlic sweat, which would have been an issue but it start raining so that watered it down.

My bowel area does feel warn now- like my midriff yesterday do I think the phal is definitely moving through. A matter of time I think…

I hinted at an epic thread on LFGSS.

Been back to check it out and cry laughing.

One tale of doom involved the use of a tub of ice cream, but it didn’t quite touch the old starfish, frozen brussel sprouts FTW

Could be a handy hint….. if/when you blow Kryton57, although you may well have cast iron innards.

Will check back tomorrow for updates 🙂

It might not be on its way out but i think its messing with your head!!

Skiprat has previous with hot curries.

And… KABOOM! Just when I thought it was safe…

I had to get up at 5am this morning for a Journey to Oxford. So, always fine until I felt a bit “windy” at approx J19 anticlockwise of the M25 – those that know the M25 know that this is a pinch-point where the traffic is traditionally slow for 10 miles to the M40, where I needed to get off.

As I was about to let go, I got that “I’m not so sure this is a gas-only event” type feeling and quickly clenched to avoid another hour travelling in soiled bestest work-suit trousers, and having to dash to an Oxford M&S to get an emergency backup pair for the day.

However, I as proceeded through the traffic the urgency of course got worse, and worse and worse – I was really struggling by the time I rushed into Beaconsfield Services on the M40.

Suffice it to say an explosive series of eye watering events lasting nearly 30 minutes occurred. I am left with a svere case of “ring-sting” – I would go so far as to say it feels like 3rd degrees burns.

I’ve rushed into my office for the day just now only to repeat a shorter version of the same event. Again I have a 10-12 business meeting so I’m hoping that I can get through the post event repetitive tremors before 10.

Whatever happens, I’m not comfortable “sitting” in the slightest 🙁

*Note to self – Phal was a once in a lifetime event*

Christ, it burns… 😥

😆