Injury Top Trumps

There’s no way I’m going to win but seeing as I’m bored, can’t ride at the moment and it currently feels like there’s a spoon in my shoulder (A Titanium spoon, no less 8) ) I thought I’d start first:

Fractured spine (compound wedge fractures of T8 & T9) – Motorbike
Snapped Clavicle, titanium parts fitted – MTB, Whipping to flat
Wrist/Hand fracture – MTB
2 Broken ribs – Skateboarding
Broken finger – Motorbike
Gammy elbow – MTB, scrubbing a jump
Completely black cock & ball (singular) – MTB (falling from a great height onto sharp rock onto hip)
Jellyfish sting – Snorkelling
Oh and, Snapped banjo string – You’ll have to guess

What you got?

I’ve got a slight graze on my leg 🙁

I got stung by a bee once.

Other injuries:
Broken arm – 5 a side
Dislocated elbow – MTB
Broken meta carpal – fell up the stairs at home 😳
Broken and dislocated thumb, now plated – MTB
Short list really considering how old I am.

Battered and bruised but never broken anything. Tough as old boots me.

Completely black cock & ball (singular

That’s going to be hard to beat.

We would be here all night.
but 6 broken ribs, broken jaw, broken radius and ulna, fractured acromium, fractured metatarsals, fractured navicular. that list is not exhaustive by any stretch of the imagination.

Happened a long time ago, but fell off back of my sisters bike one sunny Sunday afternoon. Family were in house getting ready for Sunday lunch (funny, I can still smell the meat cooking some 36 years later). Hit head (no helmet) and woke up five weeks later.

During intervening period mom and dad were told I had 1/2 hour left to live and were asked what parts of me they might consider letting go of to save others!! Heart stopped for 2 minutes and I had words spoken over me by a passing priest.

Oh well, all turned out ok in the end.

Far too many to list, but the highlight is probably fractured knob during a vinegar stroke accident in my earlier twenties (a ruptured tunica, for those of a technical mind) ; i think every doctor and medical student in devon and cornwall got to witness it looking like an aburgine.
Still all is now fine bar a small scar and a slight drift to the left; and i’m still banging it out like a jackhammer 

Did it go black?

no idea, but 2 weeks feels like a year atm…. biking 2 or 3 times a week… old school friend who i caught up with at my mums funeral… fancy badminton again ( 20 yrs ago we played eachother everyweek) .. yeah sure… first week, just about won, 2 weeks ago played him again… 10 mins in, the most humungous wack the the back of the leg I have ever felt… still hobbling and loads of bruising around the ankle, but better than it was… it was till I tripped this evening and feel like ive just undone 2 weeks rest..

I preferred to think of it as midnight burgundy.. 🙂

We would be here all night.
but 6 broken ribs, broken jaw, broken radius and ulna, fractured acromium, fractured metatarsals, fractured navicular. that list is not exhaustive by any stretch of the imagination.

What happened to the other guy?

Broken scapula (sking), blown knee (skiing), broken left wrist twice (over-exuberant childhood games), 4 broken fingers, broken cheek (touch rugby, mixed no less), broken heel (climbing, bloody painful) and a broken nose, the only ones mtb related were the nose and one of the fingers.

I’m currently covered in friction burns thanks to a fairground ride I went on yesterday whilst pissed up. It was one of those ones that’s a rotating tunnel surfaced with carpet. Showering is painful, the sunburn doesn’t help either!

Death, with complications.

Accidently walked into some stinging nettles on friday.
Other than that nothing more than a few broken ribs and a chipped elbow.
A childhood growing up on a farm consuming lots of fresh milk and hard work has toughened me up for this biking malarky.

snapped banjo string
broken thumb – bike
broken arm – rugby
broken coxis (sp?) – rugby
broken arm – bike
broken fingers – bike
chipped front teeth – bike
chain rings stuck in my calf* – bike
broken nose – bike
cracked rib – sailing
concussion (several) – rugby

*literally stuck. Had to remove the big ring with my leg still attached. It went into the bone!

Funny how fast a knob theme emergesunder a “Men’s Health” thread ? Who’d have thought it?

A friend of my wife got a guys banjo string caught between her teeth… Apparently when that happens there’s only one thing for it and its not driving to the hospital whilst still attached. She said the scream was horrendous as was the blood loss…
Makes you want to cross your legs doesn’t it?

compound fracture of elbow. Hit by car whilst on bike.
Broken left arm. Football.
Double break and dislocation of thumb. Football.
Broken finger. Football.
Broken toe. Football.
Broken nose. Bike.

Broken tooth hockey stick
2x knee cartilage and acl reconstruction football
Drilled thru my hand @ work
All good fun

Lots of broken, gouged, cut and torn things.

However it’s hard to top an injury I sustained when I was 9.

A wasp was lurking in the pants my mum had just taken off the line, which I was directed to put on.

Cue lots of screaming as I was stung about 8 times on my balls 🙁

My mum thought I was just throwing a tantrum and added a slap to my injuries.

Got concussion on Saturday and managed to break my neck brake

various brakes to fingers, toes,nose ribs, and a cheekbone- rugby and boxing
compound fracture tib & fib – parachuting
dislocated Knee and elbow,thumb, and lost teeth. – mtb/car interface
torn scrotum needing 16 stitches – football
various other cuts bruises and bites from working as a doorman
not much considering how uncordinated i seem to be.
forgot to add crushed eyeball from a lovely customer who thought hiis beer bottle would look better attatched to my face.

Ok,
Dislocated left shoulder with probably torn labrum
regular sublucations of right shoulder
enlarged spleen, unknown cause
2 skin cancers removed,
broken scaphoid, nose, concussion and abrasion to jaw down to bone (skateboarding).

I also have a gammy knee

Its 4 weeks since i broke my clavicle – collar bone to you and me! Still not back on the bike but feeling as though i must be getting close!

Managed to come off my bike in Philips Park on one of the new trails 🙁 I was looking on you tube last night and was able to pinpoint the exact spot – 32 seconds in and accompanied by recognition by the rider that he wasnt expecting that to happen!

I managed to snap my right leg off a few years back. It was bolted back on for me.

Other injuries tend to get treated with a bit of ‘I’ve had worse’ flippancy, now. Although an MRI on my knee a few years back plus being off the bike for the first three months of this year stand out.

That’s going to be hard to beat.

PMSL

A friend of my wife got a guys banjo string caught between her teeth

Yow! You sure it was “a friend”? 😉

I’ve got an ingrowing toenail from having my road shoes too tight. It really smarts…

Two silver teeth – Rugby
Broken ankle, twice – various
Fingers broken – many
12 stitches – glass in foot.
14 Stitches – Knife wound -self inflicted accident
1 cracked rib – bike
Broken arm, severe concussion – drove over a landmine in Mozambique (army days)
Nice looking scar between thumb and index – bow and arrow (home made)
Drilled through finger – DIY
Glandular fever
Tickbite fever
Hep B (dogy blood transfusion)
Shingles

Died. Blue, not breathing, no pulse – scuba diving.

davewilson634 – Member

Broken tooth hockey stick

Funny name for a girl…. hmmm curious 😆

Cue lots of screaming as I was stung about 8 times on my balls

My mum thought I was just throwing a tantrum and added a slap to my injuries.

Sorry, but that one had me in tears…old school parenting!!

My mum used to keep a wooden spoon in her handbag…that one across the back of the legs (if she caught me) could smart a bit!

Had a few things go bang over the years…four broken vertebrae is probably the most serious sounding….

Think smashed up ribs are the most painful.

Yep, the old banjo going….that’s up there in the top 5 of “I could do without that”.

broken nose 5 times, Rugby and 1 pub brawl (I’d didn’t start it)
Broken and dislocated wrist, Rugby.
Broken ribs, several times Rugby, carting and bike.
Septicemia from cut after crash bike, abcess in neck 7 visits to doctor until body started shutting down completly and sent to hopsital for emergency surgery to remove from neck and had been given 24 hours 😯

Good pirate scar on my neck now 😀

Broken finger (rugby)
Broken rib (fight)
Broken Scapula (m/cycle crash)
Broken wrist ( fall)
Broken tib and two breaks in fib, hit gonads on clip-ons and effectively vasectomised myself (M/cycle crash)
Broken rib (on a campsite waterslide FFS!)
Sprung rib (judo)
Broken sternum (judo)
Broke other wrist (fight/incident)
Fractured Coccyx (sledging)
Compression fracture T11 (MTBing)

Managed to come off my bike in Philips Park on one of the new trails I was looking on you tube last night and was able to pinpoint the exact spot – 32 seconds in and accompanied by recognition by the rider that he wasnt expecting that to happen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGSB5BRB66s
I reckon that jump ought to be called Tourettes Towers…. I don’t know anyone who has ridden it and not sworn out loud first time over it. 😀

..old school parenting!!

Not an injury as such, but on the subject of old school parenting, i remember being about 10 or 11 and going to the dentist. Had ‘gas’ whilst having a tooth out and woke up feeling very dizzy. Was sick – a very blood red sick – all over the surgery.

I was promptly b*ll*cked and slapped!

Thanks Mum!

Couple of broken wrists.

Did manage to burn a perfect imprint of a bike brake disk onto the back of my calf. Excellent detailing.

Hmm.

Starting from the beginning:
Aged ~2 I pulled a cup of scalding black coffee over my chest and had my first A&E visit plus hospitalisation.
Aged 3.5 I fell up some concrete steps resulting in first set of stitches to my eye brow.
I remember my first bike related accident about 5 when I grabbed a handful of front brake and went OTB and face planted onto a concrete road… There was a lot of blood and tears but nothing serious.
Around 11/12 I got a prong of my brace punched into my cheek. I can still remember having to pull it out.
At 14 I broke my first bone (at the elbow somewhere). I took a massive leap on a trampet over a horse in gym class and tried to enter orbit….
Then at 22 my first serious accident, stuck a motorbike into a dyke at speed. Walked away with a broken scafoid and nose, face cut up (needed plastic surgery as you could see my skull in a couple of places), knees badly scraped and hundreds of minor cuts and bruises.
Then I managed fairly well (okay, nothing requiring hospital although I did get a staved thumb x-rayed ‘just in case’) until late 30’s when I managed to fall off a climbing wall and break my humerus into 5 bits. Man that hurt! No cast, just a poly sling. Had 4 weeks off work as a result. Don’t have full mobility and it set about 5 deg out I reckon 🙄
Last hospital visit was for a dislocated finger (fell off in a motel car park in Utah just before I was supposed to head for a 5 day supported camping mtb trip in Brian Head :-(. ) Wouldn’t reseat so I had to have an op. thank god for travel insurance otherwise I’d have been ~$10k lighter of pocket.
Other than straining some tendons in my back climbing I’ve been okay the last 5 years…. But I guess that’s just jinxed me now…

My mum thought I was just throwing a tantrum and added a slap to my injuries.

In a similar vein, I cracked a finger at judo one evening. Did the warm up and one fight then sat out. When I got home mum says “oh it’s bruised” and “we’ll bring it out with some warm and cold water”.

Muggins here got scalded and then frozen in iced water before my screaming stopped her!!

Back to the OP <Tannoy> World Class Accident to the forum </ Tannoy>