Once upon a time I moved into a wreck of an old and decrepit house. It was late November, it was proper cold. The boiler (label inside read ‘next service due: Oct 1974)was on full blast but the C/H pipework was serviceable but needed removing to allow the installation of internal insulation. Cue entry of Ants, my local college plumbing lecturer and good mate. He’s the sort of guy who fills you with enthusiasm and confidence. He suggested to me that there were two ways to sort this situation, the ‘Proper way’ or the ‘Ninja way’. Obviously a challenge had been set, obviously I had to rise to it. Ants is a trusted mate, so it’s what you do innit?
The trick is to cut the pipe and immediately install a compression fitting. Obviously there will be some leakage so tools need to be close to hand to tighten the fittings ASAP. Between cutting and installation you cap the open bore with your thumb.
The C/H was live so I turned it off, it was still hot and full of Fernox. I gave it a go, cut the pipe close to the ceiling and hot, nasty water pi55ed down my arm. I jammed my thumb over the uphill end and fumbled for the isolation valve. The olives weren’t properly aligned but I managed to slide it onto the lower pipe. In the meantime the hot nasty water was leaking so I twisted my thumb a bit to stem the flow….
…which caused the sharp end of the copper to cut into my thumb and water, Fernox and blood to spurt gloriously into my eyes. So I let go- argh! and then reattached my shredded thumb to the hot and horrible thing. Anthony is pretty much useless at this point, he’s just laughing like a drain.
I eventually managed to fit the isolation valve. In the meantime the commotion had attracted the dog’s attention. She mooched in, smelt the blood on the floor and the wall and cleaned it all up.
Top Tip- if offered ‘NinjaPlumbing’tm, avoid it like the plague.