How do people flirt these days?

The thing with the lawyers isn’t comparable. The woman was trying to make a professional contract with a senior (and considerably older) partner in a law firm and his response wasn’t ‘flirty,’ it was a massive outpouring of how stunning her photo was with any mention at all of her career left as an afterthought in the last sentence.

If we can’t differentiate between a complimentary couple of scribbles on a coffee cup and a condescending abuse of authority, we’re going to die out as a species inside of a couple of generations.

QFT

As we’re quoting, quoted for teh lolz

That message wasn’t creepy, creepy is saying you want to kiss her where she poos. Ffs.

The butthurt has been strong this week hasn’t it! What’s wrong people, is it ‘cos it’s getting dark?

I’d bet that all the women that complain about this sort of thing are the ones that are always saying ‘Why can’t I just find a nice normal guy?’. Because this.

Probably because ‘normal’ guys are f**king terrified of flirting or showing the remotest of interest in case they get labelled ‘creepy’ or ‘potential rapist’.

As someone who had to defend himself against a sexual harassment allegation while working in a bar (not guilty, as judged by normal, mentally stable people) I can confirm that this exactly the case.

Not with a customer, I hasten to add.

QFT

Huh?

I suspect most people are able to distinguish between civility and flirting.

And what makes one good and one bad?

I dont think I would expect to be firted with / hit on as the customer of any business, so I dont think it acceptable.
Likewise I wouldn’t flirt with customers of my business, totally inappropriate.
Do you not get that?

I get it yes.

That’s what you think. That’s your personal opinion.

Do you get that other people have their own opinions, and not everyone agrees with you.

Probably because ‘normal’ guys are ****ing terrified of flirting or showing the remotest of interest in case they get labelled ‘creepy’ or ‘potential rapist’.

Women like the mother are the reason aliens won’t talk to us and Jeremy Kyle has a TV show.

I’ve started a new job a few months ago I’m out of the office most days and the office is full of lovely ladies.

And I do flirt with a couple of them but there has been once or twice where you think eeeek and expected a “meeting” with the boss when I got back to the office because flirty email suddenly went all quiet.

Both occasions I finally got a cheeky reply back(they had just been very busy to respond) but I must admit I was shitting myself.

Got to be sooo careful these days.

At my old place the girls on the shop floor gave as good as they got to be fair to the point of show arses, tattoos in areas not usually show on factory floor!!

My type of girls 😀

Quod Ferat Temonstrandum, Cougar. 🙄

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumble_(app)

QFT = quoted for truth or in laymens terms, I agree

I thought it was ‘quite **** true’ 🙂

Quite flirty trousers?

Pervert.

We go to rock and roll dance nights, lots of flirting, no fights, people generally go home with the partner they arrived with. It’s a form of flattery.

People like to seduce, rarely on a sexual level but often on a social or business level. Call it charm if you wish. People like being seduced too. You can seduce people of the same sex, the other sex, you want them to find you interesting, amusing, astute, worth knowing, sexy (even if you don’t want sex with them).

Take flirting as a compliment however it’s intended, if you’re not interested make it clear – IMO harassment only starts after you’ve made it clear you’re not interested.

People like to seduce, rarely on a sexual level but often on a social or business level. Call it charm if you wish. People like being seduced too. You can seduce people of the same sex, the other sex, you want them to find you interesting, amusing, astute, worth knowing, sexy (even if you don’t want sex with them).

This, absolutely…

“Flirting” can range from wildly inappropriate to an essential inter-personal skill (not saying that applies to this situation). Much of business relies on building good relationships

I dont think I would expect to be firted with / hit on as the customer of any business, so I dont think it acceptable.
Likewise I wouldn’t flirt with customers of my business, totally inappropriate.

Maybe you’re just too unattractive to be hit on. 😉

I flirt all the time when out and about; my wife thinks it’s quite amusing. Mind you she’s pretty good at it too. We find it helps us get more of what we want/better service/makes for a more pleasant experience, in a number of different types of situation. What’s wrong with a bit of flirting for God’s sake? The Human Race would have died out long ago if we never flirted, let’s face it.

As for ‘professionalism’; I always used to flirt a bit with many female customers etc, to the point of occasionally ‘hitting’ on them. Even been lucky once or twice. Only ever once had negative feedback. Must be my natural charm I suppose. 🙂

Mind you it can get a bit awkward; a friend is adamant that a young woman in the local bakery shop fancies me, because I’m always flirting with the staff there. I’m a bit nervous about going in there now. 😳

And what makes one good and one bad?

I can’t think of a good reason to not be civil by default, but I can think of examples where it would be inappropriate to flirt.

I can’t think of a good reason to not be civil by default, but I can think of examples where it would be inappropriate to flirt.

That’s not an answer, just a restatement of the question.

That’s not an answer, just a restatement of the question.

No, it’s not the answer you’re looking for. It works just fine for me.

I would fire the barista for behaving inappropriately towards the customers while on company premises.

If he wants to groom people, groom them at his own time and not try to be a pervert while working for the company on company time.

The answer … headbutt the bar(ista)-steweart! 😈

No, it is not hip!
No, it is not clever!
No, this is not your company!
No, your father does not own this company!

Where do you draw the line between being complimentary and flirting? people are so screwed up with things these days that common sense has all but disappeared.

‘You look well today’ or ‘That’s a nice dress/suit’ – compliment/flirt/being civil? Who decides?

Neither of these would bother 99.9% of people but there is always someone who is a bit bat shit mental that will think wrong of things.

I wonder how people met and got involved in relationships in the past? At school i remember notes being passed between girls and boys, after leaving school striking up conversations seemed to work as did blatant flirting as did typical ‘laddish’ behaviour on holiday. None of which ever made the news.

All I got from that was that the Telegraph is a dreadful excuse for a newspaper

votchy – Member
Where do you draw the line between being complimentary and flirting?

You certainly Do Not go all the way to write message for someone … that’s crossing the line because you are putting extra efforts. i.e. like targeting your victim.

‘You look well today’ or ‘That’s a nice dress/suit’ – compliment/flirt/being civil? Who decides?

That is fine so long as you do not go all the way to continue the conversation … just smile and say nice dress/suit then move on.

If the customers do not initiate the conversation you keep mute! Simple!

I flirt all the time when out and about; my wife thinks it’s quite amusing. Mind you she’s pretty good at it too. We find it helps us get more of what we want

Now this does sound creepy.

If he wants to groom people, groom them at his own time and not try to be a pervert while working for the company on company time.

A PERVERT?!? That’s a bit much. The guy (whose age we don’t know, but as a barista, will not have been far off that of the girl’s) wrote a message to her.

That’s it. He thought she was attractive. I don’t think that makes him a pervert. Good grief.

Now this does sound creepy.

But why? If being a bit flirty can help you get a slightly better deal, or service, what’s the harm?

It’s got me a couple of free extra doughnuts recently. 😉

See Uriah Heep on the right? Now he’s creepy.

IMO harassment only starts after you’ve made it clear you’re not interested

This is a good rule. 🙂

Do Not go all the way to write message for someone … that’s crossing the line because you are putting extra efforts. i.e. like targeting your victim

This is a terrible rule.

If the customers do not initiate the conversation you keep mute! Simple!

Sarcasm?

I can imagine a load of LBS workers wanting to flog the latest £3k enduro bike but keeping schtum when a customer comes in as they don’t want to be seen as a pervert.

But why? If being a bit flirty can help you get a slightly better deal, or service, what’s the harm?

It’s got me a couple of free extra doughnuts recently

I dunno if you’ve ever watched The Apprentice, but if you have – you know those bits where the girls (in particular) shamelessly flirt with the shop owners to get 5p off some fish or whatever? That’s you and your wife that is. 🙂

It’s really cringey – but whatever makes you happy I guess.

Women like the mother are the reason aliens won’t talk to us and Jeremy Kyle has a TV show.

+1

you know those bits where the girls (in particular) shamelessly flirt with the shop owners to get 5p off some fish or whatever? That’s you and your wife that is.

😆

You REALLY don’t want to know what we do to get the price of fish lowered then…

It’s really cringey – but whatever makes you happy I guess.

I’m not sure I understand what kind of image is going through your head? What do you think we do, when we ‘flirt’? Show people our underwear? Do some form or ritual dance?

may I say that’s a smashing blouse you have on

IMO harassment only starts after you’ve made it clear you’re not interested

So if the recipient of the unwanted attention says nothing because you’re her boss, then it’s ok?

I put a time-lapse video on Flickr of me wheelbuilding. It’s had one comment so far, a random stranger remarked “you are soft spoken.”

Which is a bit odd.

Lad I worked with took a pic of himself having a **** in the works toilets and what’s app it to a typist

He got sacked !

What’s that got to do with the price of fish?

Flirting with women you don’t know is fine as long as you’re not ugly, otherwise you’re a potential rapist. 😆

I think the British are ridiculously repressed, I have a Spanish friend, she and all of her friends are very touch feely and flirty with pretty much every guy they meet. They just see it as harmless fun and a way socialising. It’s either that or I being completely oblivious and missing out on a wild orgy.