Have we covered depression, self doubt and crippling anxiety lately?

Jamz – Member
I believe that the majority (if not all) of cases of depression are caused by problems stemming from the digestive tract.

I chalk mine up to my tyrannical mother and her approach to parenting…

There’s a lot to take in here. Thanks dudes.

For the record I don’t smoke, rarely drink these days, eat healthily (nothing processed or fried) apart from the odd curry, so diet’s not an issue.

I used to do a 20 mile round trip commute every day but have struggled since the baby arrived because of logistics getting her to nursery and back. I need to try and pick that up again somehow.

I can completely identify with the winter weather/seasonal thing too. I’ve never felt great in the winter, but have never felt this bad. We actually had a day of sun last week and that felt amazing! I guess that tells a story – I’ve always felt I’d be happier somewhere with a better climate.

I’ll check out some of those books tonight. Appreciate the recommendations. 🙂

OP, I sympathyize with you. There are times when I’m in a very dark place.
One book that helped me was this

Bear in mind that the drug you have been prescribed may not work for you. Don’t be afraid to go back and ask for an alternative. Prozac didn’t work for me whereas Citalopram did. If you still feel a bit wobbly in three weeks time ask for a review. (The Doc can consult his big book of happy pills for the alternative).

It took a redundancy and 18 months not working to get me straight. I was on Citalopram for 3 years.

i am going through the exact same thing- i found my self in a bad place after :
returned from living away to childhood home
father died
Job went kaput
wife pregnant
next job kaput
moved into new home
boy born
struggling with changes to life and relationship
Doctor put me on same pills after i had a breakdown, 2 weeks later i feel a bit happier but still zone out ? i am peaking and toughing and feel so lethargic . i don’t feel so destructive any more
taking every day at a time = its tough but family and friends and business partners are supporting

I cannot give you a success story, but what I can give you are some tips for things that have helped me manage. I’ve spend most of my life battling mental health issues and have been around the block with most of what is on offer.

Anti depressants are like a life raft. They can stop you from drowning, but if you don’t learn to swim then you may have a problem when they are taken away. For some people they are a magic bullet, for others they take the edge off and for a few they do sweet FA.

Therapy can be a mixed bag. IMO if you can afford it, go private. The NHS can be shocking when it comes to mental health, but it is better than nothing. For some people a short course of CBT can work wonders, but for many people the services provided are poor.

The NHS is great if you have broken something or they need to cut something out or put you back together. For Chronic illnesses it can be very hit and miss.

My preferred choices for therapy are things like mindfulness based CBT and ACT.

Spending £500 on a series of therapy sessions with a really good therapist can be worth it’s weight in gold.

You can’t put a price on health. By all means go the NHS route, but if it isn’t working spend the money and go private.

The number one thing I recommend to anyone with mental health problems is learning to meditate or learning some mindfulness techniques. You can learn this from a book or go to some classes.

Rather than artificiality manipulating neurotransmitters in the brain, meditation is proven to build new neural connections and make the brain more resilient to stress, anxiety and depression.

Meds can take up to 6 weeks to kick in and even of you go private it will take a while to see any benefit from therapy.

My suggestion would be to look up mindfulness based stress reduction course in your area and sign up for a course. Normally the courses are 8 weeks and cost about £100-150.

In terms of effectiveness the combo of medication and therapy together is best. Combine this with a meditation/mindfulness practice and you will be well on your way.

Next question… anyone got any tips for NOT being wide awake every morning at 3am? Ugh.

Don’t go down the sleeping pills route.
Don’t look at your phone, don’t watch TV, avoid all technology, don’t get up, have a bit of sex to tire you.

Would suggest that you get your vit d level checked out, some people find they need to take a higher supplement in Winter. In addition vit c is very good at supporting the adrenal glands which will undoubtedly be taking a hammering.

I have not experienced anything quite like this myself, but, despite considering myself to be a generally cheerful optimistic type person the pressures of modern life with work, family pressures, unrealistic social and leisure expectations, plus the general annoying admin and stuff that goes along with everything conspire to overwhelm me from time to time these days. There are just too many competeing demands on my time and not enough time and energy to apply to them it seems. I find myself being grumpy and generally dissatified a lot of the time as a result, despite good health, wonderful family and a very good quality of life. Its odd – my one great desire is to simplify my life, and do less, better. Its hard to do but I am trying to work towards it. My point is I think you are very far from being alone OP – take heart, focus on the good important things in your life and let the other nonsense that feels important but isn’t wash over you. Good luck 🙂

Next question… anyone got any tips for NOT being wide awake every morning at 3am? Ugh.

Don’t have children 😀

In all seriousness, we all tend to live lives where may have personal expectations of being amazing parents, amazing at our jobs, elite athletes, social butterflies, bottle washer, diy expert and bon vivant.

I realised a few years back that I had to pick two or three and let the rest go, not beat myself up. I’d love to say it is successful but it isn’t, really struggle with it all sometimes.

Tips for not being awake at 3am? No idea pass them on. OP Mail in profile if you need to talk.

My point is I think you are very far from being alone OP

This +1,000,0000

Society has developed a way of papering over the cracks. The pressures of modern life mean we think we have to pretend everything is ok. Any admission that we’re struggling is a sign of weakness (in our head). I have a friend who recently had to take time off work due to stress. The gossip mongering then suggested he was finished professionally, he couldn’t cut it, his career had stalled. Absolute nonsense in my eyes.

But everyone is doing such a good job at hiding their problems that when you do finally admit to yourself that you are struggling, you think you’re the only one. You don’t want to open up to anyone as you’ll be perceived as weak. It’s only when you do talk to others that you suddenly discover lots of people are struggling.

We’re bottling things up far too much. We’re living unnatural lifestyles and setting ourselves unrealistic expectations which creates tremendous pressure on our mental state.

We need a big re-think about how we live our lives and interact with others around us.

Don’t have children

Funny you should say that.

Our 1 year old only just started sleeping through a couple of weeks ago. Before that, we’ve literally had an entire year on nothing but scraps of sleep. There’ve been nights when I’ve been up until 5am trying to settle her then getting up and going into work for the day. Also nights where I’d have to get up for the day at 1am because that’s when she’d decided she was getting up.

But the general rule of thumb was that we were woken almost at least every hour, of every single night, for almost an entire year. And that’s despite following all the advice we could, getting people to help us, sticking carefully to routines, etc, etc.

It’s been brutal, and I do wonder if a year of very little sleep has skewed my thinking, leading to me feeling like this.

Next question… anyone got any tips for NOT being wide awake every morning at 3am? Ugh.

I get this if I drink certain alcohol (mix drink) or if I eat sugar in the evening.

Basically both caused a sort of sugar crash/I’d be awake for two hours then the next thing you know I’d be struggling to wake at 6.30am.

No sugar/mixed alchol drinks in the evening sorted this.

For me- theres many factors affecting life. Not all are linked.

It’s been brutal, and I do wonder if a year of very little sleep has skewed my thinking, leading to me feeling like this.

It will, while we have been really lucky with hours we’ve had a couple of months of disruption and some weeks it’s brutal, add in some colds and flu then some grey cold weather it’s hard to be optimistic.

No sugar/mixed alchol drinks in the evening sorted this.

Yeah, I’ve tried all kinds of stuff – no eating late, etc, etc, but no dice. I have no trouble falling asleep, I just can’t stay there longer than 3am ish.

add in some colds and flu then some grey cold weather it’s hard to be optimistic.

Agreed. We all got ill with cold/flu between Christmas and NY which lasted for a week or two, then as soon as that was gone, we all caught a different one. Almost a full month of feeling like crap, on top of very little sleep.

Avoid the drugs if you can, though they help some people but can make things worse. CBT and counselling works. Understanding the weird thought processes and moods, and how to spot them coming, deal with them or laughing them off is a way of handling it.

Biggest treatment though is exercise. Riding bikes works especially well. Social rides can help a lot, though solo can get you out clearing your head. Personally I’d concentrate on off road in the countryside. Busy road rides may just stress you out. Ride as much as you can, regularly, and if you can get out when symptoms are kicking in, even just walking.

If this is your first experience of depression, then it might be a one-off. My dad went through it once, but it only happened once, all down to life circumstances. Don’t stress that this might be a permanent thing.

OP, don’t worry. You’ll be surprised how many people go through this. Its an affliction of the modern world. I suffered with it for nearly a decade and I still get off days even now but I’ve learned to cope with things much better.

I personally never got on with anti depressants. I was prescribed Prozac (Fluoxetine) when I was 15 years old as my parents were going through a messy near-divorce and I was struggling at school because of it and after 3 months I came off it because of the side effects. I also tried citalopram around 2008 when a few deaths in the family caused things to flare up but again the side effects were worse than the actual depression.

Counselling and meditation classes were what helped the most. I was fortunate to have access to a great counselling service when I was at uni in Sheffield between 2003-2006 and I took advantage of that. As others have said, exercise is a fantastic way to get a quick boost of endorphins so I try to get out on the bike whenever possible. Even a quick 20 mins walk round the block will help.

Its also worth bearing in mind that it could be something as simple as seasonal affective disorder (SAD) which can be easily treated by using a special lamp to iron out your circadian rhythm.

I understand that. But when I’m struggling, I find it almost impossible to get myself out of the door and do some. Like right now. The other issue I have is that I’ve always done exercise as training for competition and tend to measure myself – right now I’m unfit and rubbish and don’t enjoy going out and proving how unfit and rubbish I am. I know if I go out and do some it will get better and I’ll be happy when I start seeing improvement, but the first couple of weeks are almost impossible. I honestly do sometimes come back feeling worse than if I’d not gone out.

Had 6 weeks off doing any proper exercise at all due to a hernia op. Of course when I mentioned being worried because it was my “medication” nobody paid any attention, which seems par for the course with mental health. I coped OK with that, it’s actually now I can do stuff again which is harder 🙁 The worst thing is that following meeting the consultant again last week, I don’t think he fixed the right hernia (I wasn’t sure at the time, but trusted the professionals), so scared I’ll have all this again.

It helps that I now have something I do regularly with other people again (having lost that for quite a long time after kids came along) – the social side also helps. Once or twice I’ve almost not gone because I couldn’t bear to meet people – one time I forced myself to drive there and come home if I didn’t feel up to it, and was OK when I got there. Have always been glad I’ve gone, so hopefully over that now.

Sorry for the big hijack – I’ve mentioned my problems on here in passing before, but don’t think I’ve ever gone into that much detail. Am thinking over some of the suggestions on here, as I’m kind of out of the system and not getting any better (did drugs, didn’t find they helped, stopped, had some paid for counselling, didn’t find it helped, stopped, NHS has been generally useless). Though mainly my problems are based on my life situation, which is going to be incredibly hard to sort so I’m happy about it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get much better until I do. The trouble is, I find even relatively simple things hard at times, still haven’t worked out how to cope with the really difficult ones.

Thought i was getting better but just had a terrible 2 days ,i thought i had missed a happy pill- so took another it span me out , i had a real panic on today and decided to take some time out so have cashed the job in .I am thinking of going to Thailand to spend a month in the village temple to clear things out , then a month at my home there to figure out next step ? It always seems to level me out to spend time there and the pills just do not sit right with me?

waaaaaaaaahhh!!!

I’ve usually got a fairly good handle on my depression, I’ve been coping with it a very long time and I’ve made enough lifestyle choices to put me in a position where a bad day or even a bad week won’t rock the boat too much and there will be people that understand ready to help out..

My other half has gone away for a few months to work though and so far it’s been an emotional rollercoaster.. The highs and lows have been immense and although it’s been balancing out it’s taken it’s toll..
I’ve managed to stay on my feet and stay upbeat but today I’ve just felt drained.. nothing left in the tank, my routine has gone to shit (I find routine helps a fair bit) and things are starting to stack up.. Anxiety levels right now are high and very physically exhausting

Trevron you sound to me like you’re doing the right thing… I think lifestyle and stress management are pretty key in managing this sort of condition long term..

Happily if I can just push through the next few weeks I’m going out to the sun to join my other half for a month, which will be ideal for resetting myself and recharging the batteries.. the kids get back from their mum’s tomorrow too which is a blessing cos having them around removes any element of wallowing, of choice or thought.. there is no time for maybe or if or procrastination when you have kids to look after, there is just do or do not do..
I’d also say that it’s a pretty shitty time of year to be in the UK if you’re prone to emotional instability and negativity

trevron73, I am not suggesting anything by this comment or directing it at you, but you did remind me of a problem which sometimes occurs.

Antidepressant drugs can have an adverse effect on people who have bipolar. It can turn them from a depressive state to manic or even psychotic state.
It is more common for bipolar people to only visit their doctor when depressed, so prescribed meds for depression rather than bipolar, and then freak out as they rocket up or enter a mixed confused state.

I’m the OP, and I’m actually feeling a fair bit better about stuff right now. I’m not sure if it’s the citalopram (it’s only been a week, and I was told not to expect results for a few weeks), or if it’s the self help stuff I’ve been doing.

As I was expecting a long wait time for NHS counselling, I thought I’d look into it myself – and for most of this week I’ve CBT’d myself to death with books, online resources, and an iPhone app.

It’s actually been a pretty fascinating process – examining the thoughts and feelings that have been making me anxious and actively questioning their validity, and whether I have a genuine reason to be anxious over them. Turns out I can reframe almost every negative thought I’ve been having (and amplifying) into something that more closely resembles reality, and I can completely see and understand the processes that got me to where I am right now.

It’s still a bit of an effort to do this ‘reframing’ on the fly though, because it’s still quite easy to fall back into an anxious state if I don’t put that effort in, but I can generally turn things around if I take the time to write my negative thoughts down or put them into the app.

I’m assuming that at some point I’ll be able to do this automatically, but I guess that’ll take some practice.

Early days, I know, but I think I’m getting somewhere.

i’ll be honest i hav’nt read all the posts, so i apologise if this has been covered, but just my 2ps worth… i too had loads of anxiety, depression etc until i stopped drinking. not a huge drinker admittedly, a few beers, but since quitting end dec its been hugely noticeable how better i cope.

A new twist to my current saga , cannot go to Thailand to temple till the new born gets passports 5 weeks (ish ) so doctor has upped the strength of med basically doubled them and signed me off for 1 month .meanwhile a co- worker in a different department has mocked my leaving on social media (twitter and Facebook) talk about low even tagging another rival restaurant mocking me ? Wow not nice and a real blow to my current feelings

**** will be ****. If that sort of negativity’s all they’ve got then bad luck to them.

(ps, with all the demands for forum changes lately, could we please have the swear filter star things out properly? Five letter words, only 4 stars, it’s a travesty)

I have avoided opening this thread, as it cuts close too the bone for me.

I have a lot of respect for someone who can just sayoutright that he feels there is something wrong and do something about it.

I’ve switched between being down in the dumps to utterly depressed, anxious to outright paranoia for years. It comes and goes, triggered by various things, most of the time I can recognise it and look for ways to keep it at least under control so others cannot see it.

At other times, it creeps out, and I can see people recognising a change and not knowing how to deal with me.

Never told anybody that, let alone a group of beardy weirdos on the net.

Most that ‘know’ me, know me as a grumpy **** who avoids people as much as possible, the ones closer are aware that I lock myself away from people quite regularly.

I have always wondered if going down the medication route is the way to go, never brave enough to do it.

I fight back tears at times, over the weirdest random things, at other times, memories make me want to sit and cry. Part of my job is having to speak to groups of people, and there are times where I just have to cut things short as I can feel myself starting to lose it.

It is a strange old thing, and one that one day I will do something about, hopefully before it makes me. I haven’t lived anywhere in the last 15 years that has had a positive image of mental health, which is part of the problem, or an excuse.

OP well done on doing something about it. I wish I had the confidence to do that. PS your a twunt, as this has made me sit and fight back the tears again.

Quirrel – hey at least you admit something’s up. I spent years convincing myself that this was normal and that I should just tough it out, MTFU and get on with it. Except half the time I couldn’t, and the half the time that I did I would then micro-analyse everything I’d done and said and pick on eveyrhting as signs of weakness or errors or reasons why i was totally rubbish and worthless.

Talk to your doctor. Just do it. They may not even prescribe antidepressants – they’re not a panacea, they’re not appropriate for some and don’t work for everyone. Do you shun anti-inflammatories while your injuries get sorted? Do you just keep running on that sore knee because it will go away if you ignore it hard enough?

From experience the one thing I can share is that you need to use the right therapy at the right time. I was lucky in that I had counselling first because at that time I wasn’t even able to acknowedge that I might have a problem – boy was it a bad day when I finally admitted that. CBT is fine if you can work with it but, like so many things, it’s far better done with a skilled practitioner than from a website 😉 Then finding a local group (via MIND) of other depressed folks was brilliant. You wouldn’t believe how much laughter and positivity a room full of depressed people can bring.

So come on. You’ve shared that much with us – now let us share the story of your recovery as well as cbma’s.

EDIT – for instance the old me wouldn’t have left all the typo’s in here because that would show how stupid and careless I was.

I feel for you OP. I have followed this thread and been a bit wary of posting my own experience. I have spent the last year working away from home while my wife was expecting our third child. Working in civil engineering following being made redundant after 10 years in opencast mining. These are industries where displaying empathy towards your family can be seen as soft amongst colleagues.

During the uncertainty of transitions between jobs I had a big family blow out with my brother and my mum was diagnosed with Huntingtons Disease. I got really lonely away from the family and began getting really tetchy at work before breaking down a few times. Was off for a few weeks and prescribed a course of Citalopram, which I am currently on. Work were great. Put me in touch with a counciller and placed me close to home. Things have been settled in the last few months. I have relaxed and taken up new hobbies, listening to classical music, painting and joining a local choir. I would never have thought of these things just a few months ago. I am also pursuing a blood test to determine whether I will develop Huntingtons Disease. Apparently the chance is 50%

OP, if it makes you feel better, you are not alone. Citalopram can help however can make you a bit queezy for a few weeks at the beginning. Over time you may better resolve what is really important in life. I now like to think no job is worth driving me to the dark places I went to a few months ago.

Good luck.

Only just found this thread,
How are you getting on now OP?
I am just over a week in on citalopram and struggling a bit so hoping things are improving for you.