Ex-gf advice needed

I know quite a few people post on here for relationship advice and support, so thought you might be able to help me out. I’m having some problems with an ex and need some advice

I broke up with my ex from uni at the end of university – 7 years ago. She was my first in many ways, and it took a long time, but I thought I’d gotten over it and moved on.

Yesterday I found out she’s going to be attending the birthday of a mutual friend this weekend, and I am absolutely dreading it. As in, I spent half an hour shaking last night when I got the news. I’m in two minds now whether to go to the party or not. On the one hand, I don’t want to miss a good friend’s major birthday, and it feels like I should maybe face this head on. On the other, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a horrible time, no matter what interaction (or lack of) I have with my ex.

Any advice? I’m really having a difficult time with this right now.

Get yourself there and get it on with her

Simples

I find strangulation is the fairest method of dealing with exes.

Do you have a new lady in your life or have you had one since?

Drink beer. Lots of beer.

This may sound alittle stalkerish but I’d facebook her ‘say hi, not seen you in a longtime, going to the do etc’. Abit of talking should ease your mountain of nerves.

TBH she may say something like ‘got married last year’. Which to be honest will give you an immediate pang of pain but then peace.

I met up with my ex and it confirmed all my concerns that I was having over her (even though I loved her dearly at the time. I ended it). At the end of the meeting I went away and had a good cry and moved on with my life.

You’ll probably turn up & wonder what all the fuss was about*
.
.
.
* But you might not.

7 years is a long time….

I guess it depends on why you broke up, but I would go…

I bet the night will not turn out as bad as you expect..

😆

I’ve quite a few ex-gf’s in my social circles – what i find helps is when they you are there sit thinking about the consequences of what would happen if you went over and said “can you remember that time we ……. in the shower” as an example.

Then walk away.

HTH
😉

Seriously though 7 years 😯

Yes Hora it does.

just go, you won’t have to spend any time with her if her if you don’t want to, just say hello and enjoy the rest of the night.

High class escort. 😉

TBH she may say something like ‘got married last year’.

Or.. “Little Suzy is seven now. Where have you been??”

More details needed. Why would you be nervous about meeting an old girlfriend that you’ve not seen for the best part of a decade. Unless there is more to this than meets the eye then I’d say go, be friendly, have a chat about old times then go mingle with other people. Have a laugh, life is far too short to dwell on the what could haves beens.

Good times if she turns up with an ugly looking fella. Hard times if he’s better looking than you.

Well, in the absence of a reply, my advice would be to hire a [edit: very expensive] prostitute (just to look good on your arm naturally), get wildly drunk, make a scene and then have a breakdown.

alternatively… MTFU?

😆

I think you should consider growing up acting like an adult, going to the Birthday and if needs must exchange polite conversation.

Do you work in IT by any chance!!!

Quote of the day award goes to : Zulu

My ex was stunning which made me abit uncomfortable but as soon as we got talking the memories cameback. It sounds like she ended it OP- could we ask why?

I think you’ll find that you loved the girl she was at uni but now you’ll barely have anything in common and she’ll have changed interms of what she likes etc. Probably will look fairly similar mind (unless shes a female mountain biker) 😆

Take the hottest looking female friend you have with you to the party, go late, get drunk, stay for a few hours. Let your friend know the circumstances, friends usually help you out. 😉

OP, pull yourself together, pathetic 🙄

go
get drunk
try and get off with her
cry

Hire a pastel baby blue tux, and moonwalk your ass into the party. Tell her that you won the lottery and your a millionaire now.

My ex was stunning which made me abit uncomfortable

She only exists in your head, doesn’t she?

This thread is only going one way….

Yeah, I’d say man up and go. I don’t mean that in a laddish way, I just mean bite the bullet. If you don’t go you’re only gonna wish you had.

EX
—

As all good things go…she left 😥

Joking apart- as muppetwrangler said, what is it that worries you about it? Did splitting up cause a lot of hurt? Is she a psycho? Do you still have feelings for her?

I’d tend to agree with the High Class Escort suggestion, added bonus being you’re guaranteed to get your willy wet at the end of the party.

It can only end well. Either she’s a unit now and you get to feel smug or she’s still a belter, in which case even if you don’t get any luck you’ll still get a good letch and new material for “the bank”.

Do you still have feelings for her?

Thats abit obvious. However I think its actually a case of he had strong feelings for what she used to be.

Sorry SamB i hope someone has actually contacted you in a thoughtful and considerate fashion but im not hopeful.

You’re there for your mate, not her or yourself.

Seriously, you need to move on otherwise you’ll continually think “what might have been”. The simple fact is you broke up then and probably for good reason.

Don’t look back as you’ll only ever see regret.

Consider the possibility that you may meet someone else there? Your ex may even bring a friend and you could end up liking them?

Look on it as an opportunity to face what are clearly big demons, but they’re of your own making.

Thanks everyone so far 🙂

In order then:
– no chance of getting it on with her (even if I keep thinking about it, argh!) – she’s married (mutual friends told me, I guess hoping it would help me move on)
– have had a couple of 2-year relationships and a couple of 6-month ones, currently single
– I’ve blocked her on facebook – didn’t think seeing posts from her or news would help in the moving on process

I think the thing that worries me is that splitting up was very painful (it was my fault entirely – acting like an idiot) and I think I do still have feelings for her. The acid test for this is that – if she were to suggest another go – I’d say yes 😕

It’ll be fine, I had to do this recently.

A. You’ll get along great and it’ll be a good night.
B. You’ll get along great, it’ll be a good night, and you’ll scuttle her.
C. You’ll get along fake great for 30minutes and then have a good night with your mates.

Of course you could go for option D like I did. Get smashed on shots with your mates lesbian partner and then have a crack at tapping her sister, but that’s another story.

I’ve been dumped loads of times and got over all of them.
The minute I got engaged they (well 2) were saying how they had missed out and were jealous. At that point I disliked them even more.
Time should have allowed you to remember all the crap things about her.
Go to the party, look sharp head up chest out. Have the best time ever.
Oh and borrow a wedding ring.

Oh and borrow a wedding ring.

Now this I like 😆

Seriously, you need to move on otherwise you’ll continually think “what might have been”. The simple fact is you broke up then and probably for good reason.

Well said ante.

Sam, after 7 years a 3 other relationships, you are starting to sound a little stalkerish……