You’ve got to get past this.

If you cannot bear to meet her when she is married, unobtainable and at a mates party, how the hell are you ever going to commit to anyone else. She’s gone.

or… you could go with a male escort?….

Sam, after 7 years a 3 other relationships, you are starting to sound a little stalkerish……

Don’t think I’m being stalker-ish – I’d be quite happy not to lay eyes on her again. Just having problems moving on, like Stoatsbrother says.

BTW: I do recognise that I’ve not had that hard a time of it – no marriage, kids, house etc – just looking for some advice on how to deal with the situation I’m in atm.

Oh and borrow a wedding ring.

Bad move. What if she has taken hers off?
Reckon you could fit your go-pro under your shirt?

KT1973 – Member
Hire a pastel baby blue tux, and moonwalk your ass into the party. Tell her that you won the lottery and your a millionaire now.

Thanks for that. Laughing like Muttley and I’ve got tea coming down my nose.

Back to the OP. What you need is closure. Smack her husband in the mouth then report yourself to the cops. That should do it.

DO NOT GO PINING AFTER HER.

Take me to the do… we can pretend we’re gay. Don’t push back on this… it’ll just be pretending.

On the basis that you clearly aren’t over her and she’s now married, she was clearly a keeper.

Sory, not helping am I?

Without wishing to sound too sensible getting hammered isnt probably the best way to go (unless of course you plan on getting into a situation which requires you slapping her round the chops with your willy porno style.)

If you havent spoken to her in 7 years (as other have said) you’ll probably be amazed at how her opinions have changed and all those things you were attracted to have disappered. I remember meeting an ex at a party once, she proceeded to tell me about how much coke she could snort in one night, needless to say I felt I made the right decision.

Go, have a few (but remember the point above), have a chat with her then find your mates, at the end of the day if its all too much feign illness and get out of there.

I have some advice.

Get a grip!

Not of her.

7 years? Really bitch…7 years? That’s not just a torch you’re carrying….

On the basis that you clearly aren’t over her and she’s now married, she was clearly a keeper.

😆

Well Reading between the lines

SamB – Member

I know quite a few people post on here for relationship advice and support, so thought you might be able to help me out. I’m having some problems with an ex and need some advice

I broke up with my ex from uni at the end of university – 7 years ago. She was my first in many ways, and it took a long time[s], but I thought I’d gotten over it and moved on.[/s]

Yesterday I found out she’s going to be attending the birthday of a mutual friend this weekend, and I am absolutely dreading it. As in, I spent half an hour shaking last night when I got the news. I’m in two minds now whether to go to the party or not. On the one hand, I don’t want to miss a good friend’s major birthday, and it feels like I should maybe face this head on. On the other, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a horrible time[s], no matter what interaction (or lack of) I have[/s] with my ex.

Any advice? I’m really having a difficult time with this right now.

Get a grip!

That’s going to make either Molly or Mrs Grips a little unhappy, one would’ve thought.

“That’s going to make either Molly or Mrs Grips a little unhappy, one would’ve thought. “

Don’t know what that means but here’s a 😀 anyway……

Sounds like a cue for a thread. Best getting dumped songs, Since I Started Drinking Again by Dwight Yoakam. Works for me.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64QkD5pBWWE[/video]
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjhHn-n4xro[/video]

or as it’s appropriate to this thread…

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs[/video]

Her life is none of your business, go to the party, say hello and talk to other people. Unless being miserable makes you happier?

OP you need to grow something like this 😆

has she got a sister?

OP you need to grow something like this

is this because some women love the “velcro effect” ?

Wear chaps, take TSY; she will realise you have “moved on” in a VERY different way

Go, say hi and congrats on getting married, then enjoy yourself with others at the party. Do not get drunk and forlorn! There might even be some single/available women there……..

samb – you have to go now…

Then we will want a slow drip of information filtering through to this post as to, how you got on, with the odd picture 😉

That should make this post a contender for….

STW 2011 – Forum Post of the year!

Just had a thought if it really bugs you that shes moved on, sleep with her mum, always brightens the mood of a dead relationship 😉

bear in mind that shes probably uncomfortable at the thought of seeing you too

although sounds like shes moved on a bit more!

edit

can we have some before and after pics to see hows she changed in the intervening years?

You should immerse yourself in something you love that makes you feel brilliant before you go – go for a ride, put some really good music on loud, you know what you like doing. Fill yourself up with your own personality so it’s bursting out the seams and you have no time to think about her because of how much you’re enjoying your life. Then go to the party oozing confidence, looking sharp.

Its good to see that some people on here have learnt nothing from the sexism thread on here a couple of weeks back. 🙄

OP just go, you don’t have to get ratted and make a spectacle of yourself. Do you have someone else in your life now? If so take them, but warn them first that an ex will be there.

Ok, some slightly more sensible advice.

Go to the party, mumble a hello, go hide in the kitchen until you’re drunk enough to… go and make passes, at all the girls in glasses.

No offence but get over it, it was nearly last century and unless she jilted you at the alter, left you with a bill of epic proportions and buggered off with your best mate/brother/father/sister/mother it’s just not worth worrying about.

I’d like to bet she couldn’t give a hoot about you being there and may not even notice, or is that the issue?

Go and be cool, can’t go wrong.

Suck

We’ve talked so long, suddenly it’s Tuesday
We still don’t know
If what we want is wrong–I just love hearing you say
“Oh please don’t go”

Darling can’t you keep your head next to my head
Oh just stay here
Because I can’t fall asleep even in my own bed
Until you’re near

No, you’ll go away, of course that’s not what I want
Oh I’ve missed you
That’s what I thought you’d say but you must know that I can’t
Resist you

You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all right out of me

I didn’t have to search for you, I knew where you’d be hiding
You astound me
There’s nothing I won’t do to feel your body sliding
All around me

No, no, no, don’t stop, I think I must be dreaming
I’ll just hold you
I’m just about to drop, you thrill me with your screaming
I adore you

You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all

I kinda know how you feel. I still think of the ‘one’ every other day since we split 7 years ago (well I thought she was the one).

There have been a lot of other women in my life since then (and I mean a lot 😳 ) and I should no longer think about her, but you just can’t.

If I was to go to a party knowing she’d be there? I’d probably dread it too.

Oh and when she dumped me, The Streets – Dry your eyes mate was just hitting all the radio stations, It’s all I ever heard!

At the risk of offering a sensible response, grow up.

We all have this situation to face at some point in our life, so do what the rest of us do: be polite, enquire after her health, shake her husband by the hand, and then walk away. No need to have this massive hangup.

She’s moved on; you’ve not. You need to face the fact that the only person worried about meeting anyone is you. The fact that she’s married points out the fact that she’s almost certainly not spent the time pining after you the way you have after her.

Don’t get pissed/hire a hooker/preted to have inherited a title. She’ll think you’re a dick, which will only add to your torment.

Oh, and once this is over, find yourself a real girlfriend, one you can actually spend time with in the here and now, rather than worrying about someone you split with 7 years back.

nickf – Member
Oh, and once this is over, find yourself a real girlfriend, one you can actually spend time with in the here and now, rather than worrying about someone you split with 7 years back

I have the feeling that might be easier that it first sounds

Party Song

I’m afraid I’m inclined to agree with nick up there. It’s been a long time, you’ve both moved on completely. When I saw your original post I thought you meant you’d *just* broken up with her. What you’re saying here is just silly.

Say hi and have a nice chat. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do.

Sorry mate but it sounds like you need to grow up a fair bit.

tell her your now gay as the sex you had with females in the last ten years was so unfulfilling..

Worth remembering that 7 years is a VERY long time. In that time my parents have both had cancer twice and recovered, my dad has had 2 back operations, the second of which he is still recovering from but that has left him in a wheel chair, I became an uncle and lost a nephew, I have emigrated and immigrated, had a daughter and got a wife, become fully qualified in my field. I have changed a lot in those 7 years and the fact she is now a lesbian makes me think she is probably not who I was in love with either.

If your ex is married she has changed and if you aren’t speaking then you are still pining after who she was not who she is now.

Go to the party and don’t go out of your way to speak to her but don’t be rude if you do end up chatting and you may well find out you are better off without her. Oh and make sure you have a good wingman and a good excuse for getting out early if it all goes t1ts up

KT1973 offers the only sensible advice on this thread.

Go along, be nice, enjoy yourself & dont forget to ask her husband is she still does the thing with…. the bottle/other girls/her tongue etc etc

Have a fair few drinks before going, few more when you’re there. Drink has a way of making decisions for you… youll be fine

I think you’ve sort of put her on a pedestal and only remember stuff through rose tinted specs.

Hopefully you may see her in a ‘real light’ at the party and you never know, Mrs right maybe there.