do all women want to be desired…

or seen as being attractive?

a young lad who is a family friend is going through a disciplinary thing at work, for paying a older lady too much attention. she has reported him to someone.
at a post xmas do the lady was all over him and a couple of other blokes. she was with her husband at the do.
back at work the attention towards the lad continued so he went along with it. she decided to rebuff his attentions and report him.
a third party asked her why she had reported him after egging him on at the do and later. she said, she liked the attention, it made her feel desired.
this is not sane behaviour surely?
the lad is shitting himself thinking he may loose his job over this.

thoughts please. hopefully some female stw’ers may see this and have some input.

Thirteen pages. First mention of ad hom on page four. Last six pages will be five posters only, in a depressingly circular copy and paste fest.

😉

women people, non?

Not sure as I understand the “she liked it so she reported him to HR” mentality mind. Is there more to this than we / you are privy to?

a third party asked her why she had reported him after egging him on at the do and later. she said, she liked the attention, it made her feel desired.

That answers the second part of the question but not the first?

She sound batshit mental.

Perhaps her husband had a word … not sure who with though.

There are many folk who crave attention and not just female, insecurities perhaps. I blame Kim Kardashian/Joey Essex and a million others of their ilk.

CG, when my pal told me about this, i told him to take his son to the ladies house and have a word with her husband. to explain that she had been leading him on. to maybe cause her some grief back.

i am all for a bit of revenge.

Sounds like she was feeling a bit neglected and wanted to show her husband that she was still desirable by flirting with other men whilst he was about to see it. No doubt enticed by the attention she’s carried it on a bit too long before coming to her senses and realising she’s in too deep, panicked and shouted harassment.

She sound batshit mental.

Seems a fair judgement.

I wouldn’t get involved with her or her husband, they’ve clearly got issues and adding more people into that mix would be a disaster. If it’s a disciplinary work thing then deal with that by stating the facts and making assurances to have nothing more to do with her.

My instinct is that you only have one side of this story.

Perhaps “she liked the attention, it made her feel desired” but that was all.

And your young lad in “going along with it” was misreading this, trying to take it further and making her uncomfortable?

Need both sides from both people really.

Either the laziest troll ever, or you’re in the shit for sending the Triax rep pictures of your nadgers.

Either the laziest troll ever, or you’re in the shit for sending the Triax rep pictures of your nadgers.

now you know it aint me cos i work with 4 hairy blokes, as you very well know.

and not a troll, it is a mate i played rugby with, well his son

Those wearing heavy make-up are as ugly as duck neck … 😮

ton – you may never find out the truth so revenge doesn’t really serve any purpose. It will be a painful lesson learned for both of them.

Yes – she sounds like a loon.

I’m sure the lad’s nervous; I guess it depends what you mean by “ so he went along with it“. Bit of flirting, no way he’d be sacked. I’d imagine that as long as he wasn’t breaking the law (harassment etc), he isn’t going to be fired.

women people, non?

But women tend to have the upper hand in any sort of flirting / amorous situation. Mostly because us men are the weaker sex and tend to think with our willies!

or paying a older lady too much attention

In the absence of all of the facts, it’s probably worth noting that “too much” attention is too much attention. Just the right amount is fine, as is too little.

When dealing with someone who is married, and at work, it is much better to err on the side of “too little attention” unless given some fairly unambiguous verbal cue.

And the way to handle disciplinary proceedings of this sort is emphatically not to suggest that the person who has complained about you overstepping a boundary is insane, or a succubus.

🙂

Sounds like you’re not being told the full story.

I think we all want to be wanted, however that attention is gained.

It does seem a one sided tale, bordering on a bit odd behaviour….

She might have been going through a rough patch with her partner, he gave her attention, she felt flattered, he then bacame over heavy at which point she thought it wasn’t right and decided she needed to calm it but he still pursued her.

That’s when it becomes unwanted attention. Is that right?

What has she done wrong? If someone says no. It’s not just physical ‘no’ it’s also emotional sometimes.

do all women want to be desired…

Probably – inwardly at least. Don’t we all.

Are some people desperate for soap style melodrama?

Definitely – stirrers and dim-wits, who believe the telly to be reality and crave the spotlight.

A couple where I used to work exchanged flirty e-mails for a few weeks. Without warning she started a disciplinary against him for harassing her.

The disciplinary went nowhere because it was obvious it was a two way thing. Even though it lead nowhere it was deeply embarrassing.

The strangest thing was that afterwards she tried to rekindle the e-mail flirtation and was openly expressing unhappiness that he never replied to her mails.

At the time I concluded some people just like attention.

These type of things have potential to cause real strife.
Had a similar example this week, with a young person being in a flirty situation with a young girl. He likely misread the situation, and said something inappropriate – she then mentioned it to her older brother, who then mentioned it to the police. And the young person now finds himself in lots of trouble and in a very embarrassing situation.

Perhaps the dry humping in the work canteen was just a tad too much.

Has anyone ‘confirmed’ his side of the story to you other than himself or any of his relatives? The possibilities are:

* that it is as exactly as described, and that the woman has issues or is an attention seeker

* that the lad is a sleaze, thought an older woman would be flattered and an easy mark, and is now trying to justify his behaviour (possibly even to himself)

* that the lad is one of those clueless types that mistakes a woman being friendly as being a come on, and woefully misread the situation

Probably best to leave the HR department to investigate before jumping to conclusions.

I jokingly accused a female colleague of sexual harrasment once, but she took it personally and accused me of being gay.

Never flirt with women at work, even if you’re just reciprocating light heartedly – there’s a large minority of them that are too childish to cope with it and resort to lawyers, therapists, safe spaces and Guardian columns.

The next time a woman hits on you, accuse her of sexual harrasment as a joke and watch for the “does not compute…he’s a man so must want to have sex with me” face.

The next time a woman hits on you

I think you’ve got the wrong forum.

.

Hmmm, without knowing both sides – all options are open.
+1 Mrs Toast.

But regardless of the full story – you just don’t go there. Married work colleague? husband present at the do? Sounds like game playing between those 2 – don’t get involved.

ton – Member

this is not sane behaviour surely?

She felt guilty, the hamster wheel started turning, after a while in her mind it becomes the young lads fault so she shops him and then can live guilt free.

Lots of people like the invitations, but dont want to go to the party!

I want to know what BigDummy was going to post!

Spot on Mrs Toast, exactly what I was trying to say.

It’s possible the woman is a loon or playing a game, but it is just as likely that the young lad has got the wrong end of the stick, misinterpreted flirting as a come on and took it too far.

You may never know what went on.

I’ve seen “don’t shit where you eat” situations go badly too many times. Particularly with married women. For all you know the husband’s got jealous, belted her around the front room and her route out is a harassment case.

Sounds like “he said, she said” to me. Or on this forum, “ton said that she said that he said that she said”.

This is the kind of stuff that keeps pointless HR people in jobs, you realise. Kid needs to keep his mouth shut and not testify to anything that can’t be proven.

Weird double post glitchy thingy ™

[Tounge firmly in cheek] Women eh?
Snakes with Tits, the lot of ’em.. 😉 [/Tounge firmly in cheek]

“Tongue firmly in cheek”, eh? Suit you sir.

Possibly a case of them both playing along with it but when the husband confronts her she claims she was being pursued against her will and to ‘prove’ it she has made the complaint simply to get herself out of the hole.

Or is that exactly what other posters have meant and I didn’t get it from their posts.

+1 Mrs toast

No, but I think some people have issues, insecurities and neuroses that lead them to do regrettable stuff especially after a G&T or two.

+1 Mrs toast

It’s her? That two-timing, rainbow-inducing tease.