Dating tips for a middle aged man – please!

There are some seriously attractive (in every sense) ladies out there wanting to meet a decent middle-aged chap, you’ve just got to ‘get out there’ more to have a chance of meeting them based on probability alone.

Far be it from me to comment on another’s “dating skills” but if I have one teeny piece of advice it’s this.

You deserve a partner of equal being to yourself

Being 40+ and finding love is so possible it’s kinda like picking sweets. You just have to choose the wrapper, the texture, the taste and whether you like unwrapping it. There are so many people in this world looking for a partner of equal being that it’s hard not to want to the whole packet.
I would add one other thing, if I may, take your time.
Build confidence and raport with prospective partners, try not to be so critical of them and please don’t be needy. Seriously, there are so many wonderful people out there that you’ll find someone who makes you feel wonderful soon enough.

Not all women expect Tom Cruise/George Clooney you know, material wealth is irrelevant, physical attraction is a base need but people see past a tight bum, and for gawds sake ignore that “must have a GSOH” that’s tosh.

Be honest, be yourself and overall be humble.

I`m 41 and separated from my wife after 1 years last year.

My relationship with my ex was over really in the 2 years before then so I felt quite ready to get back out there and start dating again.

I was expecting it to be really hard to meet women at my age,but I ended up having a succession of dates which came about through different means.

In one case it was an old school friend,another was a friend of friend,one was a random meet in a pub,and a couple via a dating site and so on.

My experience was if you go with a very set idea of your ideal partner you might be on a hiding to nothing.At this age most women are going to be divorced,have kids or some kind of “history”.

Finding someone compatible takes a bit of time,and the girl who I am currently in a relationship with came about through first having a friendship for a couple of months and getting to know each other,before it progressed to a fully fledged relationship.

My other expereince was that when you are dating at his age,and with previous relationships behind them women are very honest and upfront about what they want so don`t try to hide stuff.Above all just be yourself.

You’d be surprised Solo.

Emsz.
Sadly, although I have no direct experience (obviously) I fear you are almost certanily correct.

😉

Edit:

a decent middle-aged chap

Less of the middle aged, if you don’t mind 😛

Why only this morning some nice lady told me I don’t look anywhere near my age.

I found i didn’t have to ‘date’ or even look when i found myself single again aged 41.
Facebook has a lot to answer for, being cyber-stalked by a former girlfriend from over 20yrs ago saw to that! 😆
3yrs into that renewed relationship and happier now than i can remember being with the ex – perhaps MsD being into cycling, a lot slimmer than my ex and 36DD has something to do with that…. 😉

Muddydwarf.

You’re just showing off now.
😉

Good story though, good for you.

I’ve never done the facebook thing.

I do not want to have too big a cyber profile in the online world.

Bikebouy +1

Especially the points about not being critical, making negative assumptions, or judging people before getting to know them. Remember that trust doesn’t always come easily, and relationships (whether friends or partners) take time and sensitivity to develop. There are many, many lovely people in the world, probably most of them won’t be the ‘one’ for you, but treat everyone with respect and consideration and see what happens.

Good luck mate. There are undoubtedly loads of very attractive (in all senses) women out there.

However, I’ve pretty much decided that I attract well presented and intelligent loonies and am therefore better off playing with my bikes, dogs etc. Saved a huge amount of time, money and hassle over the past couple of years and if I ever think about ‘getting back in the saddle’ my ex usually curbs that with a well timed moment of insanity.

Oddly enough, for some reason in the past week, Match.com have started sending me emails saying that x,y,z is interested and sent pix of some very attractive ladies. Bit weird as I registered ages ago but never completed anything or paid them any money. Desperate marketing or what? Vaguelly tempting though 😉

I’ve got a few single pals 40+, some been married, others not. I cant believe how much action they get via (write this down)

https://soulmates.guardian.co.uk/?CMP=KNCSOULTXT3769

Everyone very relaxed about online dating these days it seems.

Vaguelly tempting though

Seriously, I won’t be renewing my Match sub.

Total shower that bunch.

HTH
😉

Thanks Solo, it confirms my suspicions. I think I’ll stick to stalking the dessert section of Marks and Spencers which seems to be a magnet for single women of a certain age substituting food for something else 😉

Woody.

A guy in my office reckoned plentymorefish or something along those lines. Was a better bet.

I recall buzzing it a month or two ago, it looked as if it had more…
potential

I’m not knocking dating sites in general, just the one, and so far the only one I’ve tried.

I eventually split up with my ex at 40. A very painful experience but I found that my family and friends, some I hadn’t seen for years, came out of the woodwork with help and distraction. I met my present wife 6 months after on a surfing weekend away. She’s the sister of a friend of a friend four years younger than me.

I wasn’t looking for someone but we just clicked when we met. But mostly we both knew what we DIDN’T want – the negative characteristics of our ex’s. We’re together now 7 years and clichéd as it is – I do feel my life began at 40.

So my advice is just be honest – people may want you to talk about your last relationship if only to compare it to their own. That said it’s a bit unreasonable to expect full disclosure on a first date!

Benfeh.

Good for you, an unexpected encouter leading to where you are today.
Its a good story.

That said it’s a bit unreasonable to expect full disclosure on a first date!
Too true I agree that the OP shouldn’t be forced into revealing in detail, past times.
Also, lets not forget the big nights out…..
After all, how can you divulge what you don’t recall
😳

A guy in my office reckoned plentymorefish or something along those lines. Was a better bet

you know what they say about POF, … the odds are good …. but the goods are odd 😆

susan sarandon

Just get out there and enjoy yourself. IF you meet someone, great!

Believe me – you’ve got it easy!!! 🙄

Rachel

MILF 😀

That’s my view on it too Rachel.

Wouldn’t say it’s easy but I take your point 😉

wow, what a response!

A lot of it makes a lot of sense a lot is very funny! 😆

I’m not really looking for one night stands or a stream of strangers ‘I’ll be the one with the red rose’ so maybe no dating sites. The few women I have met who have done the ‘dating thing’ for a while seem either very desperate or very jaded and have very long shopping lists (or lots of soft toys and a dog)

I’m pretty easy going and can accept people have baggage and a past, to be honest I would be (through experience) suspicious of a woman of my age or older who hadn’t! I don’t want to be a sugar daddy. I’m not looking lots of meaningless sex – I had a lot of that in my younger years.

So just a nice woman who can hold a good conversation within 10 (ish) years either side of 45.

your right there must be at least one our there – now where is she? 🙄

Thailand twice a year an my bikes that makes me a happy guy. Women are evil over hear

They can spell, though.

i joined match.com and spent 50 weeks seemingly wasting my time on idiots, liars and fantasists, then 2 weeks prior to my subscription coming to an end my now-girlfriend (of the last 18 months or so) popped up on there.
i’d never bothered with plentyoffish and she told me that her friends who had been on there warned her not to as it’s full of players and selfish, arrogant losers! so, i guess it depends on exactly what you’re looking for as to whether each of the various dating sites work for you.
my gf had to join match.com in order to reply to my messages though, and then spent 6 months having to delete email messages from illiterate weirdos because one of her photos on there was of her in full leathers sat on her NC30 outside the bike shop she used to work in!
still, she tells me that joining up was the best 70 odd quid she’s ever spent so it’s all good…

she tells me that joining up was the best 70 odd quid she’s ever spent so it’s all good…

She’s obviously never bought a dualit toaster.

She’s obviously never bought a dualit toaster.

nope, but i’ve seen her lusting over them in selfridge’s in the trafford centre though…

should i get one of these fancy toasters? will it help? 😕

will be handy for making breakfast in bed. 😉

However, I’ve pretty much decided that I attract well presented and intelligent loonies and am therefore better off playing with my bikes, dogs etc. Saved a huge amount of time, money and hassle over the past couple of years and if I ever think about ‘getting back in the saddle’ my ex usually curbs that with a well timed moment of insanity.

Flippin’ Brilliant! 😆

Pretty much exactly how I feel about women so far myself. I know that is a little jaded, but every time I finally get my confidence back, I meet a beautiful, intelligent fun loving girl who rocks my world… Before then slowly turning it upside down, destroying my confidence and turning me into a bit of a nervous wreck! My bikes don’t answer me back…

So, in summary, women just really want a chap who takes his toaster to bed ?? Well I am glad we cleared all that up !!

However, I’ve pretty much decided that I attract well presented and intelligent loonies and am therefore better off playing with my bikes, dogs etc. Saved a huge amount of time, money and hassle over the past couple of years and if I ever think about ‘getting back in the saddle’ my ex usually curbs that with a well timed moment of insanity.

Pretty much exactly how I feel about women so far myself. I know that is a little jaded, but every time I finally get my confidence back, I meet a beautiful, intelligent fun loving girl who rocks my world… Before then slowly turning it upside down, destroying my confidence and turning me into a bit of a nervous wreck! My bikes don’t answer me back…

Are you guys sure you haven’t stolen my identity? 😀

will be handy for making breakfast in bed.

Bcarefulll young lady, I might take that as an offer 😉

just popping out to find a late night toaster shop!

Are you guys sure you haven’t stolen my identity?

It’s an all too common theme.

You don’t ride a Maverick as well do you?

Nah, I’m even more niche than that 😉

Phew – glad I didn’t have to be the next one to post!! 😳

Rachel

closed 😥 will a shop soiled George Forman grill do?

lol!

LMAO at the toaster comment – thanks for brightening an otherwise dull evening….

Niche !! How about a drop bar, s/s 29’er and an offroad retro fixie. I’ve even dabbled in the delights of a 1/2 fat – yes I am as sad as that 😳

I’m confused – an offroad retro fixie toaster????

Is that what they use down south nowadays??

Rachel