Crisps that disappoint

Woah!!! This is a thread about rubbish crisps! Don’t confuse the issue with tales of quality ones.

Spanish crisps, in general. OK: they’re made from sliced potatoes (and not some pringle-style mould) and have salt, but… Never really crisp enough, and completely lacking in vinegar. Edible when you’re hungry and they give them to you in a bar, but not something I’d buy otherwise.

+1 for the Branagans Beef and Mustard being Mustard.
Now off to track some down…

Edit: Any other crisp is surely a disapointment.
Do corn snacks actually class as being a crisp?

McCoys are gash, for crinkle ridge cut crisps Mackies is where it’s a

Is the crinkle cut crisps Mackies the same as decent ice cream Mackies?

If so I shall try some.

Spanish crisps, in general

Really?

I could quite easily live on those family bags they have in Mercadona

I fricken love crisps nom nom nom

Is the crinkle cut crisps Mackies the same as decent ice cream Mackies?

Aye

Loved those beef and mustard Brannigans. They even came in a weird paper packet.

Now crisps come in foil lined bags, which is rubbish.

Salt n Shake were always a disappointment as you got one crisp covered in salt and the rest were plain.

Walkers Sensations. Sensationally mingingly weak.

Seabrooks. A weak crisp.

Walkers Cheese and onion. Just not so cheeseyonioney as they used to be, or is it my age?

FTW (in no order)

Burts Firecracker Lobster
Tyrrells ‘Naked’ (Maybe discontinued? Missed seeing them about, a perfect crisp that showed just how awesome an unadulterated potato can be)
Real Jalapeno (chikkabowow)
Walkers Smokey Bacon (An old favourite, seemingly unhindered by recent inclusion of actual bacon)

Seabrooks. A weak crisp.

PMSL

Walkers – simply because the packets are far too small

Now that Golden Wonder are the underdog they have raised their game and rarely disappoint, walkers however are nearlly always mildly disappointing .

Cheese And Onion Crisps Go Into Administration

“cheese and onion was unable to compete in a market filled with radical new flavours including Double Gloucester and red onion, Stilton and shallot, and vintage cheddar and onion chutney”

I had some Real Jalapeno crisps for lunch, although I had to eat them in a car park due to a fire alarm. Disappoint. As per my previous comment about most crisps claiming to be spicy.

Space Raiders. Look like monster munch, taste like the cardboard box that the monster munch happened to be delivered in.

Also the bloody poncy gastro pub style crisps I had post ride last night. Nice taste, but there was at least 80% empty space in that packet.

Seabrooks. A weak crisp.

Agreed. Definitely gone downhill over the last few years. Their salt and vinegar used to be proper tangy. Now it’s like a bag of greasy farts.

Best salt and vinegars now, are pipers, walkers extra crunchy and golden wonder.

Now it’s like a bag of greasy farts.

You have a control sample?

Seabrook? A bag of greasy farts? How can you say these things? You know how it hurts when you insult the things closest to my heart. You monster!

insult the things closest to my heart.

Literally. I imagine they are clogging things up nicely.

Seriously, as crisps are something I am always DEADLY serious about, Seabrooks really are not as good as they once were. We have covered the S&V, but even my old favourite, prawn cocktail, taste like the crusty remnants left on the door handle of a fish delivery van.

Not good. They used to rule the roost. Now, the best prawn cocktail is walkers extra crunchy or M&S.

onewheelgood – Member
I had some Real Jalapeno crisps for lunch, although I had to eat them in a car park due to a fire alarm. Disappoint. As per my previous comment about most crisps claiming to be spicy.

😯
I guess you’re holding out for Ghost Pepper Crisps for that extra tang, then. I don’t know of any flavoured crisps as tangy as the Jalapeño ones.

I know this thread is about crisps that disappoint, but it is my duty to inform the masses of the finest value for money crisp that you can buy. 70p for a large pack, or often 2 packs for £1 in tesco, this is the perfect snack during these hard economic times

Kettle Chips are a greasy, poor quality potato product.

Rubbish.

Walker Sensations. Worst crisps ever. Ewwwww.

On the other hand, I sometimes satiate my craving for salt with Morrisons super cheapo, really really ‘value’ ready salted. And when I say value I mean value. 36p for six packets. I only ever eat three at once, honest. And for goodness sake don’t dob me in to the British Heart Foundation. They send me to saline heaven with every crunch. Whist reminding me what crisps used to taste like in the 1970s. Ok, crunch is slightly over-stating it. With every chew would be more accurate.

I’m not ever disappointed by them, you understand, because 36p for 6 does not set up any form of expectation. They have salt, potatoes and fat and they come in small packets. There endeth the expectation. Met.

However, I’ve recently discovered the Waitrose essential version. We’re talking nearly three times the cost at a decadent £1 for six packets. But they’ve advanced the quality of the super cheap crisp by a couple of decades, at least. I was overwhelmed by them, the girth, the crunch, the slice size, the flavour. This is crisp technology of the nineties or the turn of the millennium. We’re talking early Kettle chip at least. I’ll take them over Walkers any day of the week.

For those who find their crisps too exciting, I found these in the supermarket the other night:

Needless to say I didn’t buy them.

I always buy them, not for nude flappers neither. They are the perfectest crisp. Even if they call them ‘chips’. Harumph.

currently hooked on the Snyders of Hanover Pretzel Pieces, the jalepeno ones.

Try the buffalo wings too, ‘mazin!

Although perhaps stretching the crisp-genre…..these.

Original my hearse!
Just like many things these days, they have been dumbed down for the mass market. They are just not so Marmitey any more. Where once you used to come away with beautifully Brown stained fingers, a delight to suckle, now barely a hint of stain.
Not happy.

I give you…

The delightful melt in the mouth pseudo-crisp, once again dumbed down for the bland tastes of the modern palate. Childhood rememberings ruined…

Oh the memories of a skips and shit white bread sandwidge…

what would you all recommend as a good bag of crisps then ?

just want to see what you might go for,before going too my local supermarket to buy some 😉

At the moment:

Golden Wonder – Regular crisps, the Ringos are not too bad if you like something a bit different. Very flavoursome.

I bang on about them a lot, but the Walkers Extra Crunchy are very good. Only prob is they only come in big bags. Walkers really should do them in a regular 6 packs….well, what they should do is make the default offerings a decent f****kng crisp like the extra crunchy.

M&S Barbecue are quite nice. Again, big bags.

Pipers. Small bags, bit dear and hard to find. But very nice.

Space Invaders. Spicy tomato, and not beefy. These are really in here as a default, as Tangy Toms seem to have vanished off.

Monster Munch – Pickled Onion and Flamin’ Hot. Something a bit different for the weekend, Sir.

Burton’s Fish & Chips – Not a crisp, but a great source of salt and vinegar-yness.

I should add the caveat that I am one for strong flavours, but am adverse to anything that sways from the primary flavours of salt and vinegar, prawn cocktail, cheese and onion etc, as I find a lot of these ‘goats testicle with a jalapeño enema’ type flavours usually a muddle of non-distinct flavours with a bit of heat at the end.

Eating a packet of Seabrooks Canadian ham right now (for scientific purposes of course) rather good.

If its a full on flavour hit you’re after, to assault your taste buds, then….

are hard to beat. They make your teeth water.

And I’m going to agree with Bamboo, but raise him these…

mmmmmmmmmmmmm. I’m presently looking at a packet of cheese and onion McCoys, which are ok, but all I want now are wheat crunches 😥

Pigface – Member
Eating a packet of Seabrooks Canadian ham right now (for scientific purposes of course) rather good.

They’re a fine choice of crisp. You’ll have to have your hands shot-blasted to actually remove the smell from them afterwards though

ah food for thought 🙂

These little beauties are akin to directly seasoning your tongue.

These will make you drink more beer which is the only way to stop your tongue melting http://thesnackscompany.co.uk/shop/166/28/directors-cut-corn-snacks/jalapeno-chilli-rifters-24x50g-detail

Local pub does extra hot vindaloo Bombay mix too

Eating a packet of Seabrooks Canadian ham right now (for scientific purposes of course) rather good.

Now, to me they smell like an electrical fire.

Therefore you are wrong.

Smiths Salt and Shake

Whilst the blue sachet added an element of DIY class A narcotic (a bit like Breaking Bad of the 80’s), the lumps of salt where just too large and wouldn’t adhere to the crisp.

Good concept poorly executed.

+1 for Kettle chips, orrible stupid things

Oh the memories of a skips and shit white bread sandwidge…

I used to have those, only just with the bread and Skips.

These little beauties are akin to directly seasoning your tongue.

Yeah, they only problem is that once you’ve opened the bag it doesn’t take long to eat both of the crisps contained therein.

As I posted recently on a similar thread, on Sunday I stumbled across some Reggae Reggae crisps. They were delightful.

Now struggling to find them anywhere apart from the snack machine at the Victoria Park Leisure Centre in Ilkeston. Two rows up from the Tunnocks Caramel Wafers….

I’m kinda loath to ask but…wtf is a greasy fart?

Can’t say I’ve experienced this in all my years and I’ve spent a lot of my life farting, I can tell you…