Happiness —>;
want/can’t have, don’t want/have, want/have, don’t want/don’t have

I think they are great, personally. Always wanted them and have two fine offspring. As a paid up ginger, it was of course my duty to continue the line. Sadly I failed on that part. Hopefully there is a kidney match at the very least.

All joking aside I bloody love my kids. Funk Jr turns six next. We almost lost him a few times in the early days (thanks again for the support from here) and the first three years were hell. Don’t know how we got through it as sleep, in anything other than 45 minute chunks, simply wasn’t an option.

Funkette was the best accident ever and she’s just turned two. An utter joy to be around and has me wrapped around her little finger.

I love them both more than I can properly articulate. Yes I don’t get to go out drinking, to the cinema or ride my bike. I honestly don’t care. We are skint as we decided that one of us would raise them so Mrs F quit her job. It’s hard, but you cut your cloth to suit and it was our choice.

The only downside for me is that it means I have to stay in a job I don’t like. When I get mobbed walking through the door it’s worth it though. If they end up anything like me as teenagers I’m moving out. On the plus side it will be hard for them to rebel to the same degree and I’ll be wise to anything they try and do.

Best of luck OP

if so, sign the Organ Donor Register and tell your loved ones of your decision #PassItOn

In England it’s changing to Opt out.

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/helping-you-to-decide/about-organ-donation/faq/what-is-the-opt-out-system/

funkmasterp is my long lost twin from that description

wwaswas

Subscriber

we went to Norway

Is this better than the OXO tower for the OP’s purpose?

Is this a joke on here too? I thought it originated on SELOC.

JP

Olly
Yes. A large part of the reason I have no kids

Well done, you’ve contributed (albeit infinitesimally) to the reduction in the UK’s average IQ.

I wonder how the worlds ecosystem will fair with only idiots deciding to have children.

Two boys here, 1 and 3 years.. what was a full night’s sleep again? Fun, yes, happy to go to work while wife does farm work with them.

Pretty much the first week bare back did the trick in both cases, don’t worry about it.

Terry nappies, easy peasy
Hand me downs and 2nd hand keeps price down.

Mrs wants 3rd child where as I want the snip.

Funkette was the best accident ever and she’s just turned two.

**** me that went fast!

Oxytocin

You are under hormonal control to love your kids.

Has anyone mentioned those horrible prebirth classes you end up going to as a new parent? Hopefully they are banned now. Also if it ends up C section whatever you do Don’t look. Apart from that it’s ace.

I’m (I think) in a similar mind to the OP – my partner very much wants kids, I’m somewhat ambivalent. We’ll try and I’m positive I’ll find being a parent rewarding if we’re fortunate enough to succeed, but what I’ll be most upset about if we don’t is the disappointment/heartache it will cause my partner, not the lack of a kid per se.

Also if it ends up C section whatever you do Don’t look. Apart from that it’s ace.

Either way stay at the top end.  As a comedian once said, it’s the equivelent of watching your favourite pub burn down.

Has anyone mentioned those horrible prebirth classes you end up going to as a new parent?

They’re not compulsory.

for my wife’s second c section they accidentally lowered the screen too much. I nearly passed out, looked at the floor and saw a big drop of blood land on the floor. I had my wife, who had her tummy opened up asking me if I was okay…as I’d gone completely white.

forgotten that little memory!

What if you need a kidney, eh?

No butchers where you live Perchy?

Yorkshire seemed to be our magic place both conceived there.

Has anyone mentioned those horrible prebirth classes you end up going to as a new parent?

We made some lifelong friends there, probably some survivor bonding thing. Teacher was a single, childless mid-wife. She was good on the mechanics, not so good on the touchy-feely side of the experience. Unless you’re talking of NCT classes.There were a couple at ante-natal class who were, shall we say kindly, a little worthy as a result.

Yorkshire seemed to be our magic place both conceived there.

@Sandwich – I do hope you followed the Beckhams and named them after the place they were conceived in! Flushdyke and Wetwang are great kids names

I do hope you followed the Beckhams and named them after the place they were conceived in!

Upperthong?

Upperthong?

Left or Right?

I wasn’t particularly bothered about having children, but my wife was, so we had one. She’s 13 years old now, I now wish we’d had more, as she’s the best wee pal I’ll ever have, and having her has strengthened my relationship with Mrs Nobeer no end.

@ElShalimo that would make them York and Pickering!

I do hope you followed the Beckhams and named them after the place they were conceived in!

Bedlam?

Pickering!

Who?

i love these threads, they’re great, but i’m still stuck on;

alpin

Member
Download an app that tracks your wife’s fertility cycle and use the info to

….. Avoid her at those key times.

Bike ride? Business trip? Pub?

does one of these exist, really (not just a calendar) if so where – i will plan all of my business trips around this..

also to the OP – im sure this has been said already – just aim for the right hole.

just aim for the right hole

There are left and right ones?!

There are left and right ones?!

If she and the Sister in Law are side by side…

outofbreath

Member
There are left and right ones?!

If she and the Sister in Law are side by side…

booom… LOL

Pickering!

Who?

It has to be done (NSFW):

Although I’m amazed that even in STW an OP’s requests for advice on conception ends at Ronnie Pickering…

If she and the Sister in Law are side by side…

Buckaroo!!

just aim for the right hole

Small hole, awkward place

?????????

Small hole

Just wait till after the birth….

Just ride the ‘Babymaker’ trail in Swinley Forest, it was built as a modern fertility ritual sort of thing. Worked for me (twice)………..

Just slip the Doc a tenner to put an extra stitch in to make her like new.

This may get you ejected from the delivery room, like my PO mate…

We got ours off the council, 2nd hand. Youngest was 2 so we missed the sleepless nights and (most of) the nappies 👍

Don’t google Fenton’s procedure. We would have never had a second had it not been for needing surgical remedy for this.

This reminds me of one of my mates who was less than enthusiastic about the idea of having kids but had agreed to it as his Mrs was pretty adamant. My advice was to look on the bright side, as it could take some time and he could look forward to an indefinite period of frequent shagging. A couple of months later he looked somewhat depressed when he told me it worked first go.

Amazing to read parents who given the choice again wouldn’t have kids, but there;s plenty that have them and miss the easy single life as kids are too much hard work for them.

I didn’t have my first till I was 46, I had 25-30 years of single life, 10 years of racing motorbikes, 300 trackdays, 160+ motorbikes, 70+ cars, holidays etc and it was all epic fun. I didn’t get those with kids that couldn’t get out or afford to get out. Until I had my own and for me it’s massively more fun than any of that that went before, I’d rather spend aday with my 6 yr old at the park or going for a ride and spenfing £5 than spending £500 on a trackday. All the stuff done before was good but all a bit meaningless and these days holds no interest.
I am odd though as at a kids party I’m the grown up who joins in with the kids while the others look on or tap away on their phones ignoring the kids.
Each to their own as always of course but it’s the best thing you could do

Has anyone mentioned those horrible prebirth classes you end up going to as a new parent? Hopefully they are banned now

We’re really good friends with the people we met at ours.

Re the disinterested comment earlier, couldn’t be further from the truth. Just an acknowledgement that ultimately it’s not my choice whether we have kids. So I’m happy and hopeful…