I am at the gates of heaven and I have too many legs

The baby eating bishop of Bath and Wells: You see, I am a colossal pervert. No form of sexual depravity is too low for me. Animal, vegetable or mineral — I’ll do anything to anything.

Mate of mine once almost got thrown out of a restaurant for wearing a tee-shirt with that quote on it.  Ended up having to eat with his shirt on inside-out.

I have that one. It tends to be my indoors t-shirt.

Another line from Red Dwarf that always tickled me was “Get away Pete Trantor’s sister”.

We’re in the stickiest situation since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

And not a one liner, but this gets me everytime:

Blackadder:
I wonder whether, having been tortured by the most vicious sadist in the German army, I might have a week’s leave to recuperate.

Melchett:
Splendid idea! Your commanding officer would have to be stark raving mad to refuse you!

Blackadder:
Well, you are my commanding officer.

Melchett:
Well?

Blackadder:
Can I have a week’s leave to recuperate, sir?

Melchett:
[outraged] Certainly not!

Blackadder:
Thank you, sir.

Melchett:
BAAA!

YES! WE’VE GOT A VIDEO – Vivian, Young Ones

That’s a smashing blouse you have on – Richie, Bottom

Oh god I hope she doesn’t start crying again.  Got to… Before she…  Come on… Oh, I am gonna feel so low just as soon as this is over. – Jez, Peep Show

“Four candles”

The baby eating bishop of Bath and Wells: You see, I am a colossal pervert. No form of sexual depravity is too low for me. Animal, vegetable or mineral — I’ll do anything to anything.

Fine words for a Bishop

Aw.. Not the pet store!

“What should we do if we step on a mine, sir?”

“Well, normal procedure, lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and spread yourself over a wide area.”

——————————————————————–

“Is this a sex shop?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll have a fiver’s worth.”

I love my brick

Baldrick – I hate hostipals, my Dad went in one and when he came out he was dead.

Blackadder – He was also dead when he went in Baldrick, he’d been run over by a traction engine.

Britain has had the same foreign objective policy for at least the last five hundred years; to create a disunited Europe.

In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians.

Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now, when it’s worked so well?

Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango

“DAN!”

Yeah, I’ve just been eating some mousse!

I’m not driving a mini metro!

I’m not driving a mini metro!

I’m not driving a mini metro!

YES! WE’VE GOT A VIDEO – Vivian, Young Ones

In a presentation at work a few weeks ago, the presenter was wrangling with a laptop and projector trying to get a video playing.  Our head of HR, a well-presented and fairly straight-laced woman and the last person I’d have expected to be a Young Ones fan commented in a Rick-esque accent, “oh, have we got a video?”  I snorted, I think I was the only person in the room to get the reference.

#HadToBeThereISuppose

“Your breath comes straight from Satan’s bottom!”

And a very old radio one…

”How do I get out?” “You turn the knob on your side” “I haven’t got a knob on my side!” The Goon Show

<strong id=”yui_3_17_2_43_1453655703688_64842″>Brian Potter: “Not what it looks. Not what it looks. It’s a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don’t look like nothing else, it’s not happening.”

So what is it?