Best line from a sitcom
Mike: In 1994 while on weekend manoeuvres in France, I commandeered a Chieftain tank without the permission of my immediate superiors. I then attempted to invade Paris. However, en route I stopped off at Disneyland Paris, or EuroDisney as it was then called, and was subsequently apprehended on Space Mountain.Posted 6 days ago
TA Officer: Do you have any explanation as to why you might have done this?
Mike: Well sir, at the time, I was suffering from serious emotional problems that had clearly affected my judgement. I had immersed myself in a fantasy world of my own creation and as a result I became very insular and uncommunicative.
TA Officer: Why do you think that was?
Mike: [Shrugs] I dunno.nickcSubscriber
Richie What about pin the tail on the donkey?
Eddie: We haven’t got a donkey.
Richie: Well er, pin the tail on the chicken
Eddie: We haven’t got a tail.
Richie: Well pin the sausage on the chicken.
Eddie: We haven’t got a chicken.
Richie: Well pin the sausage on the fridge.
Eddie: Or a pin.
Richie: Sellotape a sausage to the fridge.
Eddie: We haven’t got a sausage.
Richie: Put a bit of Sellotape on the fridge!
Eddie: Not much of game, is it?Posted 6 days agoMing the MercilessSubscriber
Jack: Carter? What just happened? (Sam looks up at the sky, confused)
Elrad: The Eye of Odin grows dim.
Sam: Some sort of shift in the light frequency.
Jack: Good. I thought I was having a stroke.
“O’Neill; two L’s” *holds up three fingers*Posted 6 days agocranberryMember
You bring these things into our homes. They sit on our chairs. They watch our televisions. Now, I just need to know, on behalf of all men everywhere, I just need to ask, please… What are they for? I mean, look at them! Look at the chubby little bastards! Just sitting around everywhere! What are they, pets for chairs?Posted 6 days agoPz_SteveSubscriber
Not 1 line, but:
“That new boyfriend of hers… what’s he like?”
<span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”> “Stop rocking the caravan, Geoffrey!”</span>
Coupling was SO good!Posted 6 days agobullandbladderMember
“Oh Edmund, can it be true? That I hold here in my mortal hands a nugget of purest Green?”
“The secret ingredient is crime!”
Mark – “My god, you’re not James Bond, you’re disgusting!”
Jeremy -(thinks) “I am James Bond!”
And of course the immortal “Smell my cheese, you mother!”Posted 6 days agojamj1974Subscriber
I’ve got the keys to heaven, but I’ve got too many legs”
One of the very, very best! 😂
”Baldrick, your brain is an empty as a eunuchs underpants.” Blackadder.
”I’d go with Betty, but I’d be thinking about Wilma”. Red Dwarf.
”I’ll call it my lucky willy and show it to my grandchildren.” Blackadder.
”He had too many fights, got punchy see.”
“What happened to him?”
“Last I heard, he was doing very well in the prison service.”. Porridge.
“Love length” Phoenix Nights.
“Oh, I’m glad you would rather have sex with my mother than your own sister, Neil.” The Inbetweeners.
”Monkey tennis”. Alan Partridge.Posted 6 days ago
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