Best line from a sitcom

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  • Best line from a sitcom
  • IHN
    Member

    Quote it, no context allowed.

    “I hear you’re a racist now Father”

    Closely followed by

    “Are you sure sir? It does mean changing the bulb.”

    donald
    Member

    “What with these feet?”

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    Doesn’t even need the line, just the image.

    Premier Icon stevie750
    Subscriber

    “Every shot so far”

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Too many to choose from

    I’ve lusted after [her] since I was eight.

    You fancy eight year olds?

    No, Neil. Our families are friends. We were both eight

    So? You still fancied an eight year old.

    Premier Icon mickyfinn
    Subscriber

    Yes you did, you invaded Poland!

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    Don’t tell him your name Pike!

    whitestone
    Member

    “Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically…”

    P-Jay
    Member

    I’m a sucker for a mindless US sitcom.

    “Some… not a lot”

    and

    “Got your back Jack, Bitches be crazy”.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    I hate you Butler.

    Premier Icon jimdubleyou
    Subscriber

    “A pint? Why that’s very nearly an armful!”

    Premier Icon mickyfinn
    Subscriber

    You know I can’t understand Morse code! (Open all Hours)

    Born free….. till somebody caught me. (Porridge)

    sbob
    Member

    “Charles, how come you never sweat?”

    “In the first place, I do not sweat; I perspire. In the second place, I never perspire.”

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Again, too many!

    “Oh god I’m bored. I might as well be listening to Genesis”

    Ro5ey
    Member

    “With these feet?”

    “Play it cool Trigger”

    Goodnight Vienna

    Stevet1
    Member

    Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for ****.

    Premier Icon Rubber_Buccaneer
    Subscriber

    POWER TO THE PEOPLE

    Premier Icon edhornby
    Subscriber

    I always used to like the mangled French, this one is the best

    “It’s not goodbye Raquelle, it’s bonjour”

    mildred
    Member

    Father Ted is a gold mine – particularly “speed” with Pat Mustard:

    You got me sacked and now I’m having to yank meself off around the clock because I haven’t got any proper sex with girls.

    Premier Icon bikebouy
    Subscriber

    From “To the Manor Born”

    <div>On the subject of Audrey’s Uncle Greville</div>
    Marjory: “I suppose he’s absolutely stinking rich.”
    Audrey: “Oh, absolutely stinking. He made a squalid million-”
    Marjory: “Honestly?”
    Audrey: “No one ever makes a million honestly! Then he squandered it on loose women, then he made another million or two: all very seedy.”
    Marjory: “Oh, I wish I could find a man who’d squander a million on me.”
    Audrey: “I said loose women, Marjory.”
    Marjory: “Oh, I could loosen up no end if the man was right!”

    One of my all time favourite sitcoms

    daern
    Member

    “He vanished…like an old, oak table.”
    “That’s varnished.”

    Premier Icon eddiebaby
    Subscriber

    Castle Howard

    Stevet1
    Member

    I’m sorry for your loss. Move on.

    “I want to cover every inch of your gorgeous body in pepper, and then sneeze all over you.”

    whitestone
    Member

    “Careful now!”

    hols2
    Member

    “Ho” is a strong term. Right now, I’m somewhere between “anatomical sales associate” and “high maintenance girlfriend.” Can’t you be positive about my growth?

    arrpee
    Member

    “If you ever take the piss out of Al Jolson again, I will take that I-Pod of yours out of its tiny nano-sheath, and push it up your cock.”

    nicko74
    Member

    “Come the **** in or **** the **** off”

    “Why, round the Cape, the rain beats down so hard it makes your head bleed!”

    <strong welsh accent> “Stop rocking the caravan, Geoffrey!”

    BaronVonP7
    Member

    “Tomato – Ted – aubergine – your – potato – wife’s – turnip – dead”

    jekkyl
    Member

    Ze bed knobs arr flashing

    Premier Icon fadda
    Subscriber

    Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis…?

    Premier Icon funkmasterp
    Subscriber

    SACK ME! I AM THE BBC!

    I ate your bees

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    “I have a cunning plan”

    jekkyl
    Member

    Good moaning. I was jus pissing by

    chomp
    Member

    “It’s your cock up my arse”

    (punctuation left out as per the way it was said)

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    This crack’s a bit more-ish

    Feet off the furniture you Oxbridge ****, you’re not on a punt now!

    You look like you just shat a lego garage

    Premier Icon deadkenny
    Subscriber

    Standing on the landing may be a great song title, but to me it’s just a tax loss.

    Spin
    Member

    This is like the Shawshank redemption only more crawling through shit and less redemption.

    Spin
    Member

    ****ity bye.

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