Ashes 2013

Johnson takes wickets,
He takes them all day.
You flew him to England,
Why didn’t he play?

Cheerio Kevin.

You can piss off to the IPL whenever you want.

He doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t want to apply himself. Time to cut our losses.

I was thinking ‘I can’t believe that’ when I saw it, but of course I can believe it. He’s done it so many times before trying to be THE MAN.

Well he can be THE MAN in the IPL panto.

Australia declare…

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A forlorn hope[/url] by Mark-Farrell[/url], on Flickr

Well played Captn Clarke. Attack attack attack.

Not many people there are there.

F@£? Off cook

Shit. He’ll be crucified but I can have sympathy, we can’t let him just dictate the game to us.

Oh lordy.

That beats even kp for stupidity. Wtf was Cook thinking?

It’s filling up here, the stand to my right is incomplete so no seats there

And why on earth have they not brought out bell at three

Is there something in the water down there? I thought Cook had half a brain?
Why don’t England declare now and go and stand on the naughty step and have a think about what they have done.

What was he thinking?

Cook’s usually pretty good on the pull and hook. Warne and Hussain on sky were saying that they thought England needed to take Johnson on a bit and make him think a bit about it, rather than just allow him to dictate terms. Like I say, I can sympathise, was not as brainless as kp.

Hmm, I’ve been extolling the virtues of the five day game to a few of my bosses this week. On Monday they might be asking if I can count 😛

Almost can’t bring myself to listen, though it’s possible that Boycott might have a humorous meltdown in the commentary box so it’s probably worth it. I think the young English players will learn a lot on this tour.

Two down already . This will be over by mid-afternoon.

spacemonkey – Member
Two down already . This will be over by mid-afternoon.

Could be but that would be handy as we are off to watch the Crit in town with some beer and Paella this afternoon.

On the next test there should have been a blank team sheet put up this morning in the England dressing room, names added when you prove it – no exceptions.

The only real positive is I’m not paying Murdoch a penny to watch this cerap

well played root.

thats about all the positives I have

thats about all the positives I have

Nah, in the grand scheme if things, most played pretty well actually. Those cursing kp who didn’t watch his innings should probably retract those curses now, he played bloody hard for his 50. We will lose this, but if we make MJ bowl until after lunch, nicely playing prior back into form in the process….

He probably ‘played bloody hard’ because even he realises what a lot of shit he is going to be in after that first innings dismissal. A hammed-up ‘look how cautious I am’ 50 in a losing cause is not going to cut it this time.

If we are taking solace from making Mitchell Johnson have to bowl a few more overs for his wickets, then we really are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Just like when we used to have a razzle dazzle 50 from Gough or a consolation win at the Oval.

England need a complete ‘factory reset’ before Perth. It really is time for Flower et al to earn their corn. Difficult to do anything much with the tests back to back, but they have to try.

He probably ‘played bloody hard’ because even he realises what a lot of shit he is going to be in after that first innings dismissal. A hammed-up ‘look how cautious I am’ 50 in a losing cause is not going to cut it this time.

I hope you’re applying such anger towards Cook and Carberry also? Stupid shots when all you need to do is hang around for two days, the runs being immaterial.

Carberry had a good first innings, but threw his second away.

Cook was perhaps unlucky in his first innings, but should have moved his feet, and if he had, he would have hit it. His second innings was a joke – he had no need to be anywhere near that ball.

KP was an idiot in the first innings, but batted incredibly well in the second, and was very unlucky to get out in the manner he did.

Root was out stupidly in his first innings.

Bell was also out stupidly in the second innings.

So, lots of batsmen not performing at the level they should have – why focus solely on KP?

If you look at this innings in isolation and add 40 for a non idiotic cook who should know better than 350 is quite feasible. That’s a good score for a 2nd innings.
I’m just looking at the positives 😆

I’m past caring about the remaining results but more interested in what happens with the team and how they address their issues after this test.

Sorry there, please allow me to interject with a non-pisstaking possibly stupid question…

When faced with an unachievable (in the real world) target and a draw’s the best you can hope for, what’s to stop batters just blocking any remotely dangerous ball into the ground and maybe having a swat at anything that looks safely playable? Or is this just impossible in the way that say, you can park ten men behind the ball in footie but eventually the other team will score?

Apologies again…educate a philistine please.

Next test; bring in Bresnan and Bairstow for the two spinners?

When faced with an unachievable (in the real world) target and a draw’s the best you can hope for, what’s to stop batters just blocking any remotely dangerous ball into the ground and maybe having a swat at anything that looks safely playable?

Absolutely nothing, in theory. This is one of the few occasions where having a batsman like Boycott would have been quite useful (who, incidentally, I think I heard above the roar of the crowd when Cook gave his wicket away – apoplectic would be an understatement). The problem is, if you’re a batsman like KP, or punchy bogan Warner, it’s very hard to pull your own attacking game back, and often you’ll see aggressive batsmen trying to be defensive, but looking tentative/nervous and just getting out, where if they’d tried their usual swashbuckling, they may well have scored heavily. This is why I continue to rate KP highly – defensive may not be his natural game, but he can do it, and do it well when needed. Compare that to other big hitters such as Warner and Watson and it’s easy to see the difference.

I get what Cook was trying to do – trying to wrest the initiative away from Johnson. That’s fine, but do it with the bad ball, and do it once you’ve played yourself in for long enough to be able to better judge the bounce. Cook’s dismissal was one of the softest and most stupid I’ve ever had the displeasure of watching, especially given how the match was poised. Yes, he can hook and pull quite well, but there’s a time and a place, and facing an ungettable total, or occupying the crease for two days to save the game, this was neither the time nor the place. A quick check of where the fielder was wouldn’t have gone amiss either!

Perhaps after a few overs, when Johnson was a bit more tired, trying to hit him out of the attack would be a good idea. But I think Root and KP played it much better – defend against Johnson, and milk the guy at the other end. That’s the way to play unplayable bowling: defend it, and get your runs off the other guy to relieve the pressure. I thought Johnson was going to lamp Smith after he gave KP those two sixes to let the batsmen off the hook.

Ah ok, fairy nuff. Thanks.

one of the few occasions that having a player like boycott an advantage? That’s a bit harsh on someone who had to carry the batting more than most.

one of the few occasions that having a player like boycott an advantage? That’s a bit harsh on someone who had to carry the batting more than most.

Perhaps, but even as an ardent test cricket fan, the concept of the type of game Boycs extolls the virtues of bores me senseless. (Apart from the visual of his gran with a stick of rhubarb).

as zokes notes only cetain players can do it

Atherton was the one I saw play it best but most players just cannot resist the temptation of hitting the ball and being defensive is not how they play best.

Pietersen – though i know nothing of this innings at all – is one who hates not scoring and cannot seem to help himself doing this- its his, and many others, instincts basically. Boycs and Athertons main instinct one was to not get out so it was easier for them.

Pietersen – though i know nothing of this innings at all – is one who hates not scoring and cannot seem to help himself doing this- its his, and many others, instincts basically.

As good an innings as I’ve seen him play (his last visit to the Adelaide Oval excepted…). Defended well against MJ, brutally punished the other guy. He worked out where he was likely to get his runs from, and made sure he did – this meant Johnson had no pressure to build to tempt the rash shot against his own bowling. A millimetre higher and the ball that got him would have missed the bails when he chopped on. Very unlucky, and same goes for Root – Haddin deserves kudos for snagging that one.

On this occasion I agree that Cook and Carberry are just as culpable as Pietersen. But neither of them have a history of dressing room upset nor have they been directly responsible (no matter what he says) for an England captain resigning. Nor have they, to my knowledge texted their mates in an opposition dressing room about what a ‘doerce’ their own captain is, in their opinions.

Just wait five years or so until this lot retire. There will not be a complimentary word to be heard about Pietersen the person. There will be numerous examples of him undermining the team ethic, though. Most people leave their first county with an end of season piss up. Not with their captain chucking their kit off the balcony.

On the subject of compulsive and stupid hooking (and to stop talking about bloody Pietersen), does anyone remember Andrew Hilditch? He was a richly talented player who just could not or would not stop playing a particular shot, even when there were no percentages in it. Look how he ended up.

If KP had kept his wafty angled bat straight, he wouldn’t have to have been considered unlucky.

Dressing room upset is nothing new though is it Danny? Anyway, shall we look at kp’s credit column 🙂

In answer to dd’s query about shutting up shop completely.

I think it is mainly a matter of pride more than anything else. A sort of “you buggers are going to have to shift me because I’m giving you nothing”.

Then, in the realms of possibility rather than probability comes the potential that it might just lead to a legendary rearguard.

Think Atherton vs Donald and co at Joburg 1995. In fact, think Anderson and Panesar at Cardiff in 2009.

But really, at the end of the day, it is about being a fighter and not a quitter. And you don’t have to smash the bowling to all parts to be a fighter. Sometimes dropping every straight ball at your feet, wearing a few and leaving everything else alone shows a bit of ‘ticker’.

My last post about Pietersen because I hate talking about him – it is what he’d want after all.

He is tolerated because of his ‘potential’ to put in a match winning performance. He is a pretty good test batsman. But for me the downsides actually do outweigh the ‘credit column’. That is it from me on Pietersen. I’ll leave it to him to change my mind, but I don’t think he will.

My last post about Pietersen because I hate talking about him – it is what he’d want after all.

Good. But I quite like talking about him, and am happy to sing his praises when he deserves it. Yesterday he deserved it.

He is a pretty good test batsman.

He is. He is indeed:

Competition Test
Matches 101
Runs scored 7,935
Batting average 48.00
100s/50s 23/33
Top score 227

Is it raining over there yet?

Was earlier.

One of the great things about cricket IMO is that things have a habit of balancing themselves out in the end. So after this summer, I expected a tough time from the cricket gods/karma for England – just not this tough nor this dramatic. I hope that it doesn’t rain and that Aussie get the result that they deserve overnight. By then (assuming some humility) we should have paid our dues at the altar of the cricketing gods and the rest of the series can be a bit closer.

One thing is for sure, the coaching staff/hullabaloo will earn the money from now this point on (hopefully).

So decisions, decision. Watch an hour and hope its all over quickly or go to bed instead?

I guess thats a delayed start if covers only coming off now. Easy decision to make. So 3:00am finish?

Words fail me with that first over.

*************************** idiot

Is it raining over there yet?

Bloody well rained on me on my commute to work. Clearly doesn’t have the decency to carry on raining now the cricket’s started. I’m quite glad I was in the lab and missed that first over…

By then (assuming some humility) we should have paid our dues at the altar of the cricketing gods and the rest of the series can be a bit closer.

What are you whittering on about?

**** knows, I think he’s on crack or something Zokes.

Hope that Prior stays in for a bit.