Ashes 2013

Looking back to the last 5-0 and this one is looking worse, at least they managed some big scores in that series. What is interesting is to see who still stands from that squad.
Cook, Bell, Pietersen, Panesar & Anderson. Is there any chance they can pull something out to avoid being whitewashed twice?

Lunch – some respite at last. Time to put the finishing touches on constructing the next innovative batting collapse.

No words!

To be honest all we need are 5 centuries and the extras should take care of the change needed. It’s about time some of these guys hit 3 figures

Remember the cake sent in to TMS over the summer with the lion taking the ‘roo from behind? Well can someone who’s good with Photoshop pop a roo on this taking cook from behind??

Found it

This one was from the Lions tour…

I thought they would keep it 1 down until tea but just as ABC Radio were complementing them for digging in….

Well, looks like sportsbet bet on the wrong sport

Could someone please make this nightmare go away?

Still, not long until another dismantling to commence on Boxing Day…

Dismantling’s not quite the word – it implies systematic deconstruction. This seems more like the tools being used consist mostly of trinitrotoluene.

Well done KP, early trip home

Geez, just not happening for England is it.

Nope. When it’s going against you, it really goes against you.

Its ok you can relax now Prior at the crease tow daddy hundreds and an easy win

Broad pushed on a wheelchair to slog a six for the win

IF you could fuse Athertons or Boycs defensive instincts to KP you would have a century machine but he has at least tried
Stokes has at least been one discovery this series

the eternal optimist – these guys could get to 400 if they play well
cue dismissal before the close

he has at least tried

Meh. Even I’m narked at him after his last dismissal. Really starting to think that we need a few new faces, Stokes and Root being two of them.

Stokes has at least been one discovery this series

Throw in Root, he could do something, could have done with some more time protected up the order but getting thrown in deep will only help him grow up fast.

Well, annihilation evaded for another day

Right then, day 5 starts tomorrow, all scores off the board. Stokes and Prior to open the batting heads down and concentrate. 253-4 sounds possible?

Not based on current form 🙂

So, it’s started already. A phone call and an email in the past 10 minutes from Australian friends who are in no way gloating, bragging, or in any way acting in the bullish manner they’ve complained about us poms doing for the last few years.

I suppose I could ask them how many tests they’ve won this year ❓

I was optimistic before the series started, have been to the lowest depths of pssimism, so now I’m trying realism.

Theres a new ball due in a dozen or so overs. If Stokes and Prior can get back in in the morning – and it is like starting again, it doesn’t matter what score you have on the board against your name, you have to adjust to the light, the pace and bounce – even then you’d say that the new ball will nick one or both out. So I can’t see anything other than a defeat.

IF however both can get in, be positive before the new ball comes, that could be another 40 odd runs, leaving 200-odd to get. Australia would be massively favourite clearly, but they aren’t as good yet as we’ve made them appear, and they’ve not been under any pressure yet with the ball. No, it won’t happen but I’d love them to feel a bit of heat over a game that they’re nailed on for and just see what they’re like if it doesn’t go entirely their way.

Maybe I’m a bit nuts – but – I think England have a wee chance.

It would be better if Broad could bat confidently but as longer Stokes and Prior are batting the more the Aussies might get a bit nervy.

Anyone still keen to defend Pietersen?

You will be awarded points for trying, which is more than ‘the man’ himself.

England 18/1 to win.

You never know……

Bookies are sheisters, arent they?

18/1. To get a score that’s getting on for 100 more than anyone’s ever chased to win a test match. On a pitch with more cracks visible than the average housing development, never mind a building site. Against a side that has only stopped larruping us for long enough to tell us how badly we’re being larruped / how much they enjoy it. They reckon that in this situation 19 times, we’d manage it once?

We might though………

There’s a man who didn’t support England in the 90s. This series has reminded me a lot of that – the only difference being that I had some hope before the series started. Let’s be honest, who expected England to even have a chance of a draw before this game started?

I’m sure it’s already been said, but Pieterson has to be by far the biggest disappointment. For sure the stats say that Cook is doing far worse than him (certainly in comparison to his last visit), but at least it’s taken some decent balls to get him out. Has Pieterson actually been out once to a good delivery?

50/1 wouldn’t really be all that generous. Maybe 100/1?

The odds you can get on Australia winning are probably closer to the reality? Oh, they’re not taking bets on that?

Careful there aracer. You can’t go criticising KP on this thread.

So, where do England go from here? Well, Melbourne obviously, but in a figurative sense – where?

Do they forget the practice and go do some bonding? Does Flower have them at naughty boy nets every waking hour from now until Boxing Day?

I’m really not sure what they can do as this tour has unravelled so badly and so quickly.

And to reiterate the point that our Geoffrey makes, this Aussie side is not actually that good. They are over-achieving now they have some belief, but they are a bit of a rag-tag bunch in all honesty. A spinner (albeit a good one) who bats at 11. A keeper with gloves of cement a lot of the time. A hit or miss quickie. Etc.

Another massive disappointment has been Swann. Something that is quite obvious when put alongside Lyon is how little he drifts the ball. This is because he has no ‘body’ in his action. I also think he is suffering from the kookaburra ball as the wider, but much flatter seam is not as easy to grip to really give the ball his usual tweak. Lyon probably isn’t suffering as much as he puts a lot more ‘body’ into the delivery and ‘comes around the outside of the ball’ more, thus getting some more action on the ball that way.

What England do need is a genuine ‘enforcer’ (not a pumped up middleweight like Broad). Someone who can overwhelm with sheer pace (not so much need for lateral movement). The problem is that Finn seems to be going backwards at a rate of knots and Tremlett just bowls piss-pace nowadays.

I’m casting around for anything that could give me optimism at the moment, but really can’t see anything.

Really? Clearly I’ve not read the whole thread (have been following psychle’s example from the last few series and avoiding discussing cricket) – have people found some plausible way to defend his shot selection? If he wasn’t as good at actually hitting the ball when he chooses the right shots it would be so easy to drop him for his attitude – the trouble is, in the position we’re in if he happened to have a good couple of hours we might stand a chance in a game, not something I think any other player (on either team) could do in the same way.

So, where do England go from here? Well, Melbourne obviously, but in a figurative sense – where?
…
I’m casting around for anything that could give me optimism at the moment, but really can’t see anything.

I suspect the best thing to do is write off this tour and assume we’ll lose 5-0 (to be honest I think that might actually be best for us – anything else could be an excuse to hide the problems). We had a few lean years after 06/07, but came back strong after.

Anyone still keen to defend Pietersen?

I thought you’d stoppped talking about him, lest it enlarge his ego further. Some people just can’t help themselves…

and the new hero leaves the field, rather than milk the applause he looks annoyed and pissed off. Something some senior players need to look at.

Still 170 to win

Well played by Stokes, gave the English fans something to celebrate in an otherwise mediocre performance.

Swann gone, last rites being read 8)

At least Broad will have an excuse for finding walking difficult 😉

and Bresnan

gave the English fans something to celebrate in an otherwise mediocre performance.

Mediocre is too kind.

At least Broad will have an excuse for finding walking difficult

He already had one. He was just following your Captain’s lead:

And that, as they say, is that 8)

and that is it, time for some changes at the MCG, give some people a chance to do something different.

So it turns out that being the only pom in an office of ozzies is rather hard work today. Talk about bad winners!

I think I may have made a career limiting move by putting the Chairman through to the MD so he was on the phone as the last wicket was taken! 😆 😈

Is Jamie still doing the photoshop wonders?
Any chance of Boycott’s mother wafting a bit of Rhubarb in time for the Boxing Day test?

Where from here? Well, the ‘same’ team needs to play at the MCG. In front of that crowd, to put a bunch of rookies up for the humiliation that follows would be wrong. At least if the current lot fail again then the new crop don’t carry the scars, and we might enable them to find some form again when the real pressure’s off and see who is still worth keeping.