Are you the perfect man?

It paints British women as materialistic and superficial. As the profile is so far from what ladies I know go for

wow, thanks 🙄

so, do tell us what we “go for”

Wow my first 4 page topic! One day I’m gonna be a big hitter

EEEEEKKK!!! Some “perfect” men according to the Daily Fail

Muscly, toned and athletic ❓ 😕 ❓

Eats meat

beef. c_______s

Six three tall
Semi athletic
Brown eyes
Male pattern baldness
No dress sense
Non drinker
Non smoker
Wears shorts,t-shirt and hoodies
Gets ready in 1.7 minutes
Unstylish
Wants a quiet life
Earns £18,000 a year
Hates shopping
Eats veg
Beard
Hairy belly
Hates soaps
Hates football
Drives a shed
Educated to degree level
Earns less than most
Miserable misanthrope
Not a clue when you are upset
Tells you he loves you only when he’s done something wrong
can’t be arsed looking a women
Holds a driving licence
Can swim doggypaddle
Can ride a bike (as long as it only has 1 gear)
Can change a tyre as long as its not on a crest
Rings mum once a year

Form a queue frontbums………

“frontbums”, “frontbums”..!!

Phsssst!!

What a great word.

IMHO to be the perfect man you need powers of invisibility and no DNA.

I’ll get my coat…….

You don’t fall into the “ladies I know” category, emsz, so I’m in no position to tell you or those included in your “we” what you gor for. Your on-line persona wouldn’t be interested in a man corresponding to the profile in the article as a vital “wo” is missing.

Coward i am going to jump in two feeted and tell a lesbian what she wants in a man ….. it is a sight of Horas beautiful manhood and you will be changed for ever…I know i would be 😉

HTH

Thanks Junky I think I’ll pass 😆

I am a man therefore i am a bastard whatever i do. Therefore i do what i want as the consequences are the same whether i pay for her haircut or **** off to the pub.

😆

new Mrs iDave thinks I’m OK and she’s fantastic. so the list can **** off

Just laugh.
The rest of us do.

I’ve been pissing meself, thanks hora and binners, especially. 😆

Old but amusing,
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.’
Passenger: ‘Who?’
Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.’
Passenger: ‘There are always a few clouds over everybody.’
Cabbie: ‘Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.’
Passenger: ‘Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: ‘There’s more… He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right’
Passenger: ‘Wow, some guy then.’
Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too – He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.’
Passenger: ‘An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?’
Cabbie: ‘Well, I never actually met Frank, he died. I married his effing widow.’

Q. Why do most men die before their wives do?

A. They want to.

the perfect man uses this product to atract his good lady

I’m not even 100% man physiologically….

🙁

haha nice one Yossarian, like it!

Kev

How many caring, honest, considerate men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Both of them…

I saw a couple on the tube the other day. She was wearing a T shirt that said “All men are bastards”, he one that said “All women are mad”. They seemed happy enough together.

Six feet tall Bit short of that.

Muscly, toned and athletic Yes

Brown eyes No

Short dark hair Grey

Smart dress sense Ha!

A beer / lager drinker No Lager fizzy pish.

Non smoker Smoe some things.

Wears smart jeans, shirt and a

V-neck jumper No

Gets ready in 17 minutes Way less than that.

Stylish In my special way.

Wants a family Wouldn’t say no but not going to happen now.

Earns £48,000 a year Much less.

Loves shopping No.

Eats meat Sometimes.

Clean shaven Sometimes.

Smooth chest Yes.

Watches soaps No.

Enjoys watching football No.

Drives an Audi VW Tansporter.

Educated to degree level Yes.

Earns more than you Probably not.

Jokes around and has a laugh Yes.

Sensitive when you are upset Sometimes.

Tells you he loves you only when he means it Yes dear.

Wot a load of tosh. Am I perfect?