Anything worse than this?

Went to take a swig from water bottle, fortunately just got a whiff of what was stuck to the valve before it entered my mouth. On inspection there was a nice blob of some kind of shit, presumably dog, stuck to it.

Gagged a bit but managed to keep my breakfast down.

From a cycling perspective I guess SMIDSYs are potentially worse, depending on whether you’re around to hear them say it, but what else makes you shudder when you think about it?

Lucky escape.

Worse, yes, but only marginally, I was just riding along having a needless twiddle with my rear shock, then went for my drink bottle and magaged to smear the shit that was on my shock all over my gloves and my drink. (I think I can still smell it)

SMIDSY?

SMIDSY = Sorry mate I didn’t see you

At uni… hangover… reach down from my bed to grab my nice fresh carton of orange juice. Grab carton my gf had left there a week or two before. Had 2-3 good size swigs before the taste and fizz in the juice registered with me. Ate half a tube of toothpaste to get rid of the taste.

Some people use these .

Done the same thing, Nick, except I also had shit all my gloves, the visor of my helmet and brake levers. It was a rather fetching shade of orange, as I recall.

I was riding down a long hill once and got to the bottom and had to stop cos i could smell dogs**t. Inspected the bike…nothing…inspected my clothes…nothing…could still smell it. It was then my mate started laughing..I’d got a massive blob of dogshit on the end of my nose…he’s still laughing now.

On a night ride I managed to get some shit thrown up on my glove. Obviously I couldn’t see this with it being dark and I didn’t know about it until I went to wipe my nose with my gloved hand.

I ended up with two nostrils full of shit! Luckily we were near a lake so a lot of blowing and washing later and the strong smell had gone away. I still had a lingering smell for two more days!

Decomposing fox on a nightride once….. my frame and legs were covered, but he guy behind me had been chatting away merrily, so now knows what it tastes like. It had reached that fascinating khaki stage where the fur no longer clumps…..

Riding towards Kentmere over some boggy stuff a dead sheep (or at least some of it) emerged out of the mud like something out of pet cemetery. It had a wooly death stink all of it’s own.

Scapegoat – you owe me a new keyboard

A house i used to rent had a blocked toilet. In the back garden was a big metal manhole cover. Turns out our garden contained the main ‘hub’ for the whole streets waste. I lifted the cover to try and locate the cause of the blockage and discovered the thing was full to overflowing with excrement. The smell was pretty funky and one whiff was enough to cause me to promptly drop the lid back down. My face was hit by a poo wave made from the shite of two dozen arses.