Anyone had partner cheat and forgiven them

Had to wait for Mrs Removed to go to bed before I could comment

In my mid twenties I went back to uni and ended up going out with a luvverly American lass. After a few months of young love, she got all antsy and eventually confessed she had been seeing a girl for nearly a year.

Turned out, her girlfriend was a girl I’d fancied for years. I was absolutely delighted, so I fit in with the general (male) consensus. Was a magical Summer and only had a very positive impact on our relationship.

Will concede that it may have got messy long term, but she went back to the states before the spell had a chance to break!

A similar thing happened to a very good friend of mine about ten years ago – his other half had a few regular ‘friends’ that she’d occasionally bring home and he’d occasionally be woken up with a nudge, inviting him to go and play. It worked as their relationship was secure, and it did stop once they became parents.

However, just recently the female half did leave, only this time it was for a man. Apparently she’s now also engaged to this new fellah, which was an additional kick in the guts for my friend.

Makes you wonder how long things had either been going on or what was happening for her to leave what was previously a good relationship.

No matter how secure your relationship is in these circumstances, fundamentally people ‘play’ because they are bored deep down.

A wife that strays with another female?

Flipping ‘eck, the stuff dreams are made of… 😀

No matter how secure your relationship is in these circumstances, fundamentally people ‘play’ because they are bored deep down.

…and today’s sweepingly generalised psychological titbit is bought to you by Hora. 😉

OP your mate should bin his girlfriend , the fact she went through with the deed in the first place shows she has little/no respect for him irrespective of the fact she was ‘drunk’

With regard to the 3some debate , my first ever ‘jiggy jiggy’ experience was just that! I was under the age of consent and the 2 young ladies(2 mates from down the road) were only just old enough so I suppose it was really child abuse although I didn’t feel that way back then. It happened about 8 times over a 6 month period and I can tell you it’s not really fun in fact it’s bloody hard work!! But it made me feel big in front of my mates.

my first ever penetrative sexual experience

…kinda euuwww dude

Sorry 😳

fixed it for you 😆

There is really something I don’t like about the word ‘penetrative’. yuk.

Rachel – that was not my intention!! But seeing as all the blokes on here are quite clearly closet pervs you are probably right 😆

quite clearly closet pervs

I think you’ll find most of us are out and proud.

closet perv?

Yeah right, like i could ever hide in the closet with my heavy breathing.

Infidelity is a deal breaker – once the trust has gone its, well, GONE. It NEVER comes back.

Still..

Ok, well it’s too late for me’ to edit so I’ll re-phrase:

Seeing as most of the men on here are clearly raging pervs….. Happy 🙂

No raging here either.

That happens after midnight once most people are safely tucked up in bed.

oh that’s ok then. You really ought to work on the heavy breathing BTW…. you’d get away with much more if you weren’t heard 😉

No one else can or should judge any other, someone elses experience is of no use in making your own decisions ……… no matter how similar.

emma82 – Member

Seeing as most of the men on here are clearly raging pervs….. Happy
Fixed that for you.

As Steve had to explain in Coupling when pressed as to his collection of videos (they were about a ‘lesbian film-making collective, who had to make videos of lesbians, and the one who made the best video was able to spank the others’ (or similar) ): men love seeing women’s front bottoms. Anything that multiplies the number of front bottoms men can see is a Good Thing.
Similarly, men like seeing women’s frontal areas. Again, anything that increases the number of specific frontal areas available for viewing is a Good Thing.
Now whether this is one of those things better left to imagine than act upon is for more knowledgeable people than me to comment. Back to the OP, I guess it’s a question of how serious your mate is about the relationship. If he’s all mature and grown up and sensible, it’s time to bin the bint. If he’s still got a more ‘go out and get it’ attitude to life and can handle the possible insecurity issues, then forgive her.

(RepacK – Member Infidelity is a deal breaker -) words of wisdom 😉

😯

Yes, several boyfriends have been unfaithful to me over the years. Two I didn’t know about until after we had broken up. One I knew about but turned a blind eye because he was young, had had a tough time with his parents, was insecure. I made excuses for him because I loved him. He did it again and I dumped him.

To me it doesn’t matter which gender the third party is/was, or even the fact of the sex itself, it’s the lies. When your partner is talking to you and you’re thinking “I have no idea if you’re lying to me or not”, trust gone.

Funny, over the years it has always been the psycho jealous possessive ones who have been unfaithful. All the shouting and screaming that I was playing away from home (I was not) and there they were, at it themselves! You gotta laugh, eh?

Unfortunately, I have a feeling you’re right, Karin!!

Rachel

Funny, over the years it has always been the psycho jealous possessive ones who have been unfaithful. All the shouting and screaming that I was playing away from home (I was not) and there they were, at it themselves! You gotta laugh, eh?

And this is a surprise????

My experiences and opinions are pretty straightforward. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a male or female involved in the infidelity and if it happens once it will happen again.

Well, yes, it was a surprise because I used to think that if someone was decrying something so vehemently then they must hate it and not be doing it themselves.

Ahhh, bless, how naive!

Maybe they believe accusing their partner of doing something absolves them of responsibility of having done it themselves…

(edited out the worst of the terrible English grammar)

It’s funny how no one has bought up what actually constitutes cheating, as I know several people who have a wildly different point of view to mine.

Rachel, yes, I see that, if they can imagine that you are doing the same, perhaps they feel less guilty. Perhaps too it’s because they know how they think (that it’s ok to be unfaithful), and assume other people are the same.

Yossarian, agree, if they have done it once, they are likely to do it again.

There i suspect many reasons why people are unfaithful.

If it’s not to excepted by the other, or known about it’s wrong and just goes to show how doomed the relationship should be.

If it’s known about and excepted, then i guess so long as they are being true about their feelings for the situation, then who can complain.

I know i’ve now got trust issues because of it, whether past partners are doing owt or not. People can be just plain stoopid and nasty without even realising it.

And it’s right in what has been said. Some that have been cheated on then go on to do it themselves as some sort of weird revenge thing.

they accuse you becausee they dont trust you because they know what they are like.
Would ring alarm bells for me if someone accused me tbh.

Seems appropriate 😆

To me it doesn’t matter which gender the third party is/was, or even the fact of the sex itself, it’s the lies. When your partner is talking to you and you’re thinking “I have no idea if you’re lying to me or not”, trust gone.

Funny, over the years it has always been the psycho jealous possessive ones who have been unfaithful. All the shouting and screaming that I was playing away from home (I was not) and there they were, at it themselves! You gotta laugh, eh?

I think you’ve hit it on the head there Karin. It is the lies that I couldn’t deal with. Or the lying for that matter. The physical act, while it is usually repulsive to think about, can be gotten over, but the lying 😐

Strangely enough I’ve been in one of the aforementioned ‘two lady’ situation, a long, long time ago. I wouldn’t reccomend it to anyone. And haven’t ever as such.

On the other hand, I’ve been cheated on once, she phoned to tell me, and then did me the favour of discharging herself from our relationship saying she felt ashamed, I was a better person than her, and she didn’t think she’d done me justice with her silly, albeit drunk actions.

That was during freshers week…in my first year of uni. Quite the favour she did me there 😉

So out of 71 posters no one has had a relationship work after the event. Hmm. The odds are not in her favour.

Cheating is cheating, Enday.

She’d be down the road and quick – smart.

a conclusive insight into the male psyche providing you are reasearching mountain bikers hiding behind a keyboard.

I can feel an affinity to the subject after buying a secound bike, i just cant spend the time i want with the first one any more.
I keep riding the second even though its unforgiving makes me a bit sore, but it is up for some muddy fun with its big clearances.

Having said that they do both spend the nights together, maybe i should split them up to reduce temptation.

What do you believe constitutes cheating then fourbanger?

I’m quite straight about thinking that if someone enters into a relationship be it emotional or sexual outside that of friendship then it is cheating and they are therefore not someone I want to be with. I have, nor would I ever cheat and expect the same in return. I know most of my friends share the same thinking

Honestly? No idea.

I’d like to say I’d forgive however I don’t think I’d ever forget.

Emma82 nail on head.

All these blokes posting with lipstick lezbo fantasies are only proving thier sexual and emotional immaturity.

fundamentally people ‘play’ because they are bored deep down.

It is a surprisingly complicated issue as to why people cheat with a myriad of different reasons. i am not surprised you came up with a simple solution to cover all events.

Bored?
A total lack of respect more like. The relationship was dead in the water before it got to the playing away from home stage.

But surely hora if you can’t ‘forget’ then the relationship is doomed even if you think you have forgive. Every time she’s 10 minutes late home, has an evening out without you and doesn’t pick up the phone etc etc, it would always be at the back of your mind that she was with someone else, regardless of their being a man or woman??

There is also then the revenge thing someone else mentioned…someone very close to me is sleeping with someone they aren’t really bothered about and is risking their relationship and why? Because his partner slept with someone else (ONS) so to fix it in his mind he’s going one further and having a relationship with another woman. very odd and not at all healthy.

Agree that there are a million different reasons why people cheat but if you don’t love someone enough to stay faithful then leave them to find someone who does.

I’m going to back off now, cheating makes me cross and this thread is upsetting me 🙂

I worked with a guy who went home from work early and found his wife under their Great Dane………. he didn’t forgive.