Alternative film endings.

Watching Octopussy and 007 has won again, 🙄 but it was close this time. Would we want to see him lose, just once in a while, to keep us guessing?

What alternative endings can you suggest for films?

Vanilla sky. Any ending other then “he woke up and it was all a dream” would have been better.

Or maybe an alternate start, where the movie doesn’t start, and you just go home. That would’ve been much better.

Lord of the Rings.

Decision made to destroy the ring. Eagle takes Frodo to Mordor and they dump it in the volcano. The End.

someone shoots Jarjar Binks in the first film. no war.

Day of The Jackal.

He doesn’t miss.

Hunger

Eventually, he ate.

Birdy – it’s higher than he thought

Alien

Don’t fancy the look at that chamber underneath the space jockey, lets not go down there.

Star Wars

Solo runs off with the money. Vader kills Luke. Death Star takes out the rebel moon.

The galaxy enters a thousand year period of order, discipline and really cool uniforms.

Rocky gets the crap beaten out of him & dies in hospital at the end of Rocky I. No need for interminable sequels.

Rambo – as above

Neo takes the blue pill?

He hangs up?

The fantasy one
top gun =- cruise dies he never makes another film as he is dead
The real one
Cinema Paridiso – ignore the directors cut ruins the film watch the other version it is better
The controversial one
Shawshank redemption – an ending that does not make me cry out in pain and vomit in a bucket at the need for a happy holywood ending. WTF is that ?.. I am serious I am in the minority ruined an average film [ ok that last bit was a joke but does ruin the [otherwise] great film IMHO.

Indy gets squashed by the big rolling rock!

The Abyss

Bud dies after defusing the bomb, thus saving the audience from the terrible “happy aliens” ending

Cast Away – no one survives the plane crash.

All The Presidents Men

Nixon was telling the truth.

Speed. bus stuck in rush hour traffic, bomb never arms. the end

All The Presidents Men

Nixon was telling the truth.
bwahahaha, surprise!

inception?

Jerry Maguire: Instead of having a bloody epiphany and writing the stupid memo he just has a w@nk and goes to sleep instead.

Never meets Rene whats-her-face Marries his much hotter and dirtier fiance lives happily ever after. The end

Terminator 2 – Skynet attains intelligence over the internet and decides that if it nukes humanity, it’ll also nuke half of the computers in the world to kingdom come and will therefore lobotomize itself.

Skynet decides an easier way to subjugate humanity would be to invent the social networking and encourage people to post dull clips on themselves falling off stuff onto something called “You-Tube”.

Titanic doesn’t sink.

Days of Thunder: Turns out to be a film about an extended stay in the local tandoori, followed by a few pints of guinness.

You’ve Got Mail – Gmail incorrectly tags said mail as spam and Tom Hanks never sees another one from Meg Ryan. They never meet.

Aliens – The APC with all the weapons and ammo in is narrowly missed by the dropship. Marines get all the shiny kit to the HQ, set it all up, then sit back and enjoy some films and popcorn whilst the new dropship turns up, pausing only to occasionally reload the sentry guns. After take off, they nuke the place from orbit, just to be sure.

ET takes a heavy hit when landing that absolutely massive bike jump – you know, the one over the moon – and, because he wasn’t wearing a helmet, he dies.

Up: the old guy and his wife fly to South America before she dies, and I don’t have to explain to the other half that no, I just have a piece of grit in my eye.

The Time Traveller’s Wife: The time traveller gets picked up for grooming a young girl and sent to chokey for 30 years, where, ironically, time goes ever so much more slowly.

Skynet decides an easier way to subjugate humanity would be to invent the social networking and encourage people to post dull clips on themselves falling off stuff onto something called “You-Tube”.

This I like 🙂

Finding Nemo – D’ya want fries with that?

Most of these sound like porn films I’ve seen.

ET takes a heavy hit when landing that absolutely massive bike jump – you know, the one over the moon – and, because he wasn’t wearing a helmet, he dies

😆

Jurassic park, the raptors and Samuel l Jackson team up…. all other dinosaurs are turned into tasty burgers.

American Flyers- He gets a puncture and his spare rear wheel only has a 21 rear tooth cog, he can’t pedal it up the “wall” and blows up in spectacular fashion as he watches the entire bunch blow past him.

Lassie come home- She doesn’t!

Spiderman- he gets flattened by an emormous rolled up newspaper

MrsJulianA says Trainspotting – they all stand around collecting train numbers until they all die of boredom (or possibly heroin overdoses or Begby dies of cirrhocis of the liver)

She also thinks that in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas they all died of overdoses, or possibly the audience all died of boredom.

PS. I enjoyed both films.

At the start of Star Wars if the gunner had shot capsule with the driods in the Empire would’ve never been bought to it’s knees, all because his commanding officer had wanted to save a round.

Lord of the Rings: half way through the second one they all decide they’ve had enough of sword fighting and just want to go home and put their feet up. The ring gets lost down the back of Bilbo’s sofa.

Every 70s and 80s film just carries on with the scene where the young lady takes off her clothes.

crikey – Member
Every 70s and 80s film just carries on with the scene where the young lady takes off her clothes.

You are Jeff from Coupling and MrsJulianA claims her £5!

Return of the Jedi – Luke dobs his old man into the CSA. Crippled by arrears the empire crumbles and vader is forced into excile. There will be no need for ewoks.

Star Wars, Greedo shoots Han first.

Oh, wait…