Alone in the Wild – what would you do?

On Channel 4 at the minute – bloke goes to the North American wilderness for 3 months to see what happens.

So you've got a week to prepare, £1000 to buy stuff and an 85L rucksack to put everything in before you do the same…What would you buy and what would you do in the week before you leave? For arguments sake the weather is typical UK mid-autumn, a bit of everything!

(No need to buy a rifle – you get given one of them before the plane abandons you.)

shoot the moose and have a huuuge steak 😉

well I'm watching it now, and I wouldn't bloody go. amazing scenario, but nice thick walls to keep the bears out would be good

What is Ray Mears' day rate?

very blair witch though isn't it

Spent 6 weeks up there camping in 1986. You live with it in respect of the grizzlies – the mossies on the other hand are something else…

shoot the moose and have a huuuge steak

MrsMM and I said the same thing……. 😀

I'd left the bears out of my scenario to be fair – I just kept going back to the idea of having a bigger, faster firing gun!

I'd have had a pop at the moose though…

I've done some wilderness trekking in Sweden which has bears and wolves etc but we were a bit far south so it wasn't really an issue. Well, not until it was the middle of the night and there was something sniffing around camp anyway.

i'd go mad in 24 hours and eat myself.

The 1st night you spend under canvas in bear country is not 1 filled with sleep!

Years ago did a canoe cicuit in BC (Bowron lakes) where the campsite can only be reached by boat or helicopter/float plane. They had bear boxes/metal clad trees and ladders to hide all your stuff. Still woke up to snuffling sounds outside, sounded like it was a grizzly about 2 feet away. Was probably a chipmunk though.

Wouldn't fancy being dropped where that guy is though.

He doesn't seem particularly well suited to the whole being on your own thing.

Although I can't imagine having to address the camera, get angles of yourself etc is helping, that seems a really quick way to develop some kind of issue…

I'd buy some special spray that would make you smell like an even bigger bear ! 😥

i'd buy a shed load of tranquilizers and hibernate up a tree

>I'd buy some special spray that would make you smell like an even bigger bear !

Interesting come mating season 🙂

and an 85L rucksack

What do you need that for ?

I would stay put with my £1000 worth of food until the plane came to pick me up again.

a grand you say

allthepies;

😳 😯

id strip naked and smear myself in bear faeces
that way the bears wouldnt see me like in predator
and id get to live out my 3rd best sexual fantasy

The 1st night you spend under canvas in bear country is not 1 filled with sleep!

Ha ha, so true! My first night in bear country was on the BC coast. Even after kayaking 35km, I only slept for minutes that night because I was the one sleeping closest to the trail from the forest. We were bivvying too, I probably looked like a large tasty hotdog to Mr. Bear.

On the 2nd night I just helped to drain the wine bag and slept very well indeed. 😆

Haha so true !

I used to crap myself with fear when sleeping in BC on a 14 week cycle tour with a mate…First few nights you dont sleep and when you hear snuffling / rockfalls / noises outside the tent – times like those you really do taste fear and feel a deep kinship with your hunter gatherer forefathers….

We had bear bangers / bear spray and hung knives in the tent entrances so we could cut our way out of the tent in case one decided to come visiting one night… we hung / caged / hid our food / petol stove bottles / bike oil / toothpaste / food / sunblock to prevent any temptation for a bear to visit us…

Would love to repeat it!

paul

It's even worse when you have actually seen the bears that day.

Now what is it you do for a brown bear vs a black bear, climb tree, fight back or just poo yourself.

Remember reading various guides that suggested different tactic depending on which species of bear attacked you and always wondered how they worked that out.

"Black fight back, brown stay down."

Well, thats the very approximate rule of thumb. Black bears are generally not aggressive to humans unless you threaten them or their cubs. They'll avoid you so long as they hear you coming, if you see them first make lots of noise to scare them away. If they do attack, fight back and you may have a chance.

Brown bears (Grizzlies) are hard muth*f-rs, if they decide they want a piece of you your best chance is to play dead and let them take a nibble. For both types, don't run and don't climb trees, it won't end well.

We met a black adult on an evening club ride about a month ago, on a North Shore fireroad. That made the climb a bit more interesting! Luckily there were 9 of us, so the bear just ambled off into the bush and we carried on. Much rather meet a black bear on a ride than have a cougar stalking me…

I would take the wheel building jig, and eccentric abortion of a wheel ive been trying to build for a week. No body has been near me in days. Pet,s friends, the mrs. No body! Its as if im giving off some kind of "if you so much as look at me while im dismantling this mess again, im going to stab you in the eyes with these spokes and eat your feet" vibe. Oh and I've messed my self twice and been living on gold fish flakes. It could be that I suppose.

"if you so much as look at me while im dismantling this mess again, im going to stab you in the eyes with these spokes and eat your feet" vibe.

😆

A grand you say?

Bear comes visiting, it's owning time!!

I slept fine when camping in Canada. Granted it wasnt the wilderness and we were on a camp site but we did receive a warning when we arrived that bears had been spotted recently on site. Oh and it was the only place in Canada where they still have rattle snakes too and Mrs M nearly stood on one!

I'd take my dog and hope the bears chase her!!

Copy of Razzle, Fiesta and Escort at the minimum.

Bear suit and 18" black strap on cock covered in bear poo and blood.

Did anyone else appreciate the irony of the film straight after this one, the American nutter who lived with bears for ten years and the got eaten by one! The way he faced up to wild grizzlies and told them off put the earlier bloke in his place (he did get eaten eventually though!)