Agony Aunts to the forum – break up advice…

if your sitting at night and cant sleep and feel like your going nuts, go out and drive around, it seems to calm you down. Also, go to a 24 hour supermarket and just wander. They are actually designed to make people feel at ease and it does work

I really feel for you OP. Been there with younger women and also women around the same age. It’s the shock of being dumped when you are thinking it’s going so well and the unanswered questions after the fact. It’s tough.

Obviously she wasn’t thinking the same way about you as you were about her so you are the one that has to adjust to the reality of the situation which will take a bit of time.

Just be good to yourself while things settle down, don’t drink too much etc and keep talking to mates or posting here. You WILL be fine.

’tis tru’,’dat

John just get out there and ride, drink beer with your mates and keep yourself/mind occupied. Don’t sit at home and mope though, it’ll just consume you otherwise. Have a good one in Wales!

Here’s a good one.

Have a good think, and write down all the bad things about her and pin them to your wall. Sillier the better… ‘weird shaped head’ ‘fat fingers’ ‘likes Coldplay’ etc etc

Whenever you’re really down just look at that list. It’ll give you some perspective and you might find yourself saying something like “Yeah! She bloody did have a weird shaped head!”

I mean, you shouldn’t really have been dating someone that likes Coldplay in the first place, but love is blind.

Sorry, but is Hora dead?

I’ll write his post for him.

Hora – facinatedwithmymember

Never understood men who date younger women. What’s the appeal? Some Daddy thing probably. I’m brilliant in bed and have had loads of women, more if I wanted. Man up and grow a pair.

Have you got a car for sale?

This was always my break up song. Never failed to cheer me up.
Hope I don’t need it again!

You met her in April, she dumped you and now you can’t get over it??!?!

It’s early July Ffs!!!

As someone else has said, get a grip. If I split up with the wife it’d take me a while to get over it, but then I’ve been with her nearly 19 years.

Surely this can’t be real, or you mean LAST April…

I never realised I was in the presence of such emotionally detached/ full of crap awesome men!

Surely this can’t be real, or you mean LAST April…

Don’t judge people by your own standards! Some folk fall fast.

I’d suggest maybe some sort of attachment issues going on…

Could be the case. None of us really know but the point of this shirley is to help the guy get on with his own shit.

If I split up with the wife it’d take me a while to get over it, but then I’ve been with her nearly 19 years.

So it’s taken you “nearly 19 years” to get really fond of her?

Or are you saying that you’ve become institutionalised and don’t know how you would cope on your own?

Either way it’s irrelevant to the OP’s situation.

A split a month into a ‘relationship’ surely shouldn’t leave one party feeling like the OP does unless there are some unaddressed underlying emotional issues going on. But that’s just my musings.

It was actually 2 months into the relationship. The early stages of a relationship are often extremely intense, and I don’t know but the OP might have felt that he had finally met “the one”.

Bearing in mind those points I think it is perfectly normal to feel devastated if the relationship suddenly comes to an abrupt halt, specially if the devastated person feels there has been no acceptable/understandable explanation.

It certainly doesn’t suggest that the OP has some abnormal “emotional issues” ffs.

We are each entitled to our opinion. Seems completely ridiculous to me, to be devastated after 2 months of a relationship. Although come to think if it I do remember a similar situation myself, but then I was 16.

It was actually 2 months into the relationship. The early stages of a relationship are often extremely intense, and I don’t know but the OP might have felt that he had finally met “the one”.

Bearing in mind those points I think it is perfectly normal to feel devastated if the relationship suddenly comes to an abrupt halt, specially if the devastated person feels there has been no acceptable/understandable explanation.

It certainly doesn’t suggest that the OP has some abnormal “emotional issues” ffs.

My thoughts exactly, well said.

3 months?

soft lad, grow up – you sound like a 14 year old.

We are each entitled to our opinion

Agreed. But maybe keep the keyboard psychology out of it?

Although come to think if it I do remember a similar situation myself, but then I was 16.

Maybe your last experience of this kind of relationship was when you were 16. Fair play. Maybe you met the one a year later and it was happy ever after. Maybe you are single and don’t want a relationship. Who knows. It does sound like the voice of minimal experience though. Just my opinion of course.

TL;DR: Looks like OP lived more in three months than some have in years.

soft lad, grow up – you sound like a 14 year old.

You know some strange 14 year olds. I would expect a 14 year old to get over a crush in about 2 days, one week top whack.

You’ve been out with her for <6 weeks?

It didnt work out. Get a grip.

Whats your history on relationships?

😀

Ok – speaking from the heart more than I need to, but firstly this thread has cheered me up no end, as has chatting to a couple of friends tonight…

Secondly, in 38 years I’ve had my share of the fairer sex & I have never ever felt the way I did about her or had such an intense, relationship as this one, this was that unobtainable movie type of love, every time we kissed, every time I got a message from her I got excitement, I did actually feel like a 16yr old. Then with no warning that was taken away – 2 days before she was pointing out to me what sort of engagement ring she would want…

I can see now, that she is clearly mad as a batch of frogs, insanely hot, super, super dirty. I in all honesty don’t think I will ever meet anyone like her again, I’m OK with that.

I’m moving on, I want to move on, I just hate myself for slipping back & dwelling on things a little to much.

& I’ve probably listened to this too much….

Maybe your last experience of this kind of relationship was when you were 16. Fair play. Maybe you met the one a year later and it was happy ever after. Maybe you are single and don’t want a relationship. Who knows. It does sound like the voice of minimal experience though. Just my opinion of course.

When I was 16 I was, like most 16 year old, emotionally immature. Fall in ‘love’ quickly and feel unduly hurt when it ends.

It’s just a little ‘unusual’ to hear a person in their late 30’s talk about being devastated after the breakdown of a ‘relationship’ that is measured in weeks not years.

OP, please accept my apologies if my contributions to this thread have offended you.

You are having a midlife crisis brought on early by a 24yr old.

Go faster +1 – was trying to articulate that but you hit the nail.

I met n propose within 2 months – 20 years and 2 kids (one head boy, one headed for uni) later – who knows how it could’ve been if I/she dumped me in 2 months.

T’is better to have loved a short girl, than never loved a tall!

OP – man up, move on and think that this is one of those times in your life when it is better to be alive and hurt, than not feeling anything!

OP, please accept my apologies if my contributions to this thread have offended you.

Not at all, everyone is entitled to their opinion, as I’ve said previously this thread has made me feel loads better, stopped me dwelling. I’ve a few other things going on as well, that are probably contributing to the whole thing, essentially living in a shite town for work purposes away from friends & family, so the general feeling of isolation is probably contributing to the relationship feeling.

It’s just a little ‘unusual’ to hear a person in their late 30’s talk about being devastated after the breakdown of a ‘relationship’ that is measured in weeks not years.

If someone requires to be in a relationship for several years before they feel devastated if it comes to an end, then I would call that a little ‘unusual’. And imo that would suggest some attachment issues.

🙄

🙄

I’m sorry if I’ve offended you by suggesting that it’s a little ‘unusual’ for someone to require several years before they feel a very strong attachment to their partner, and that there’s possibly some attachment issues. Please accept my apologies if my comments have offended you.

Nope. I wholeheartedly disagree with just about everything you’ve said. But I wouldn’t let it worry you.

I don’t think timescale has anything to do with it.
I’m sure you can fall in love with someone very quickly if she’s ‘the one’.
It’s going to be tough, and probably won’t ease until you find someone who can replace some of the feelings you had with her.
There are a lot of ways to meet new people these days, so tap into these, but don’t put pressure on yourself to forget her completely and move on. Remember the fun bits and learn from them. You’ll be fine.

OP is she seeing someone else now? If so write some poetry, drink some good liquor and move on.

Anyone remember the movie Swingers? Great film with one ofthe central characters dealing with heart ache

stop it

you’re killing me

Op,

I understand you are hurt very much but let’s not forget the details coz that might be the cause of your problem.

How many times did you boom boom her? 😮

As I keep telling my housemate who has just broken up from a long term relationship – go have casual sex. A friend with benefits etc.

Had some great sex with people where there was mutual no desire for anything more and it’s great for showing you there is plenty more fish in the sea and they werent that great anyway. And did I mention you get plenty of fun sex?

a dose of the best band in the world should do the trick.

OP go see a relationship councellor to get over your six week relationship?

See what they say? (Get the **** out of here?)

Sorry, but is Hora dead?

This actually brung tears of joy to my little eyes.

And then it began…

Whats your history on relationships?

You are having a midlife crisis brought on early by a 24yr old.

write some poetry, drink some good liquor and move on.

go see a relationship councellor to get over your six week relationship?

Dude, you’re amazing. Can we have a brief-but-intense fling sometime?

🙂