A nice Friday thread – your tenuous claims to fame…

I’ve been glared at by Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd.

fasthaggis – Member
Craig Charles waved at me when I was on my bike.
I smiled and waved back.

I’ve pooped in his loo.

I’ve been on the One Show in full lycra, spent 2 days filming with Iwan Thomas

I went to school with the winner of ‘Survivor’ series 1 an also-run from Series 4 of BB and far more impressively Tanni Grey-Thompson multiple London Marathon Winner, and holder of 16 Paralympic medals, including 11 golds.

My Wife’s cousin is Meatloaf’s Assistant / Tour Manager.

I shouted ‘SUPER HANS!’ when I saw Matt King in a taxi queue in Brighton around 4 in the morning. He came over for a chat and gave me a ciggie 8)

Can’t remember her name now, blonde lass who was on something like The Word and wasn’t Katie Putrik, and some tall black bloke. Ring any bells?

Dani Behr and Les Ferdinand?

I’ve got a signed photo of George Vella. He used to present the fishing forecast on TV:AM, and then when he’d finished working there each morning, he’d spend the rest of the day working as a butcher in Woodford Green, round the corner from my Gran. The signed photo is accompanied by a note from my Gran in her shakey handwriting which reads

‘you were right, the Codfather is my butcher. He remembers you and thought you were looking at him funny’

I was a schoolboy friend with Tim Kellett (come on, you know him – he’s the trumpet/keyboard play in Simply Red who went on to form ‘Olive’ and had a hit with ‘You’re Not Alone’).

I once urinated next to Sven Goran Ericsson in The Lowrey hotel in Manchester just before he signed as Man City manager – I assume he was being wined and dined by the club’s board.

My old Geography teacher was second cousin twice removed from David Bowie.

Another schoolboy friend was the cousin of Julian Cope (The Teardrop Explodes).

I once walked next to Gary McAllister on the way in to a Family Fun Day at Harewood House (of TdF fame).

(more tenuous than my Dave Stewart story): Wife’s mum babysat the original Little Dec (Dylan). Wife got to go to London with Dylan for filming Saturday Night Takeaway, hang out with Ant & Dec and most annoyingly Kylie, who is apparently amazing.

My old boss was nearly in Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Once had fish n chips in the same restaurant as Mr Wilks off of Emmerdale Farm. I was about 10 and I think he had a Special – flash git (Bryan’s of Headingley, fact fans).

I charged out of the bog in the Velodrome and nearly bumped into this fella wandering down the corridor. As he walked away I noticed he had quite big thighs, think he might have been called Chris somethingorother. Anyway, the words I said to him obviously stood him in good stead a few months later at the Olympics and I’ll never forget them – “Whoops, sorry”.

I was accosted by James Cameron and stuck mocap markers on a Terminator.

Dani Behr and Les Ferdinand?

Yeah, them’s them. Ta.

3 mad fit Glamour models ….

… it seems it was Jodie Marsh who stuck her finger up my bum.

Something wrong in the first part of the story telling there!

Once had a talk at school from a newspaper editor who had (several years before) had to take a cub reporter to one side and advise him to give up his part time band playing as it was affecting his work.

The cub reporter was Mark Knopfler.

I have the same surname as a very famous actor. I may have used it to ensure a restaurant booking once.

My guitar teacher was Damon Hills guitar teacher.

One of my mates was the original Bass player for Ocean Colour Scene who was “usurped” (his words)by the band before they became famous.

Used to serve pints to Phil Mitchell on his weekends back home in Cornwall.

Whilst mucking about at the Grand Designs show at the NEC last year I almost took out Kevin McCloud.

Watching Amazing Spaces the other day (the air ambulance trailer camper) I realised that David Moreton, the ex-paralympian swimmer was in the year above me at secondary school.

So exciting…

I took Gordon Liddy for his first curry whilst minding him during the Oxford part of a book signing tour.

I used to serve World Cup winning, at the time Manchester City managing, Alan Ball pints of Carling top at the as it was then called Moss Rose pub in Alderley Edge. He occasionally also had a Famous Grouse.

When I was 12 I was sat in front of Jimmy Tarbuck and Kenny Lynch on a flight to Jersey. They spent the hour ‘entertaining’ the rest of the passengers. Longest hour of my life.

Mine are quite good actually:
1. The great-nephew of Lord Kitchener (the bloke with the moustache on the ‘your country needs you’ WW1 recruitment posters) was at my parents’ wedding
2. I was at school with Gary Barlow and used to deliver his newspapers
3. Daniel Craig’s stepmum was the landlady of my local back home for years until she sold it a couple of years ago
4. I knew a James Bond stuntman – he was the one who played Halle Berry when they got out of the back of the Hercules on those one-man rocket things. Needless to say as an middle-aged ex Para he wasn’t much of a likeness 🙂
5. Oh and my mum looked after Damon Hill for a few hours when he was very little and his Dad was racing at Oulton Park

It’s central to the control structure.

I’ve been shown round the brunel university bio-mechanics lab by Professor Heinz Wolff.

My uncle beat Brian Johnson at pool in a Newcastle pub the night before he flew out to Oz for his ACDC audition. (I’ve lost count now of the number of times I’ve heard him tell that story!)

Somebody I know shared a house with Chris Hoy and Craig MacLean. Popped round for a cup of tea when up in Manchester one time.

Grew up about a mile away from where Rose West grew up (long time apart mind you!)
I haven’t buried anyone under a patio.

Tenuous enough?

I washed dishes for Duran Duran.

My brother’s best mate used to be babysat by the uncle of someone in EMF – this transpired after talking to the band (we’re all from the FoD)

Had lunch at a table next to Robert Plant in Worcester

My brother-in-law was in the same school & year as Cat Deeley

The mum of the Taylors from Duran Duran taught in Mrs Fuzzhead’s school

Rick Parfit used to drink/eat in the pub I worked in as a kid – used to drive up in a gold roller IIRC

My mum shared a railway carriage with Ernie Wise once

I harrangued Paddy Ashdown during some electioneering thing and made it onto prime time news

Mike Tindall turned up at my Dad’s local village fete (very small village)

Not sure if it’s actually tenuous enough, but a friend of mine won SAS Are You Tough Enough: Jungle.

Sir Ran’s secretary once contacted me, but it turned out it was a different person with the same first name he actually wanted to do something with (mates of mine have raced with him, and once camped next to him at KIMM overnight, hence somehow I’d made it onto his contact list).

My Uncle, Jimmy Murphy is the son of Jimmy Murphy, the real man behind the creation of the ‘Busby Babes’. (… and I hate Man U 😉 )

I am a direct descendant of Henry Longfellow who wrote Hiawatha. My Great Uncle played for the WI and was responsible for the first drawn test match.
I do have a friend who is a A-list Actor/model, but her privacy has been compromised so much that I keep it quiet.
My dad sold his jacket to Jimi Hendrix. And my step Dad lived next door to Richard Branson as kids, they were in business together selling birds from my step Grand Fathers collection.

I’ve been physically ejected from a night club by Warrior from Gladiators 8) he’s not a fan of ‘banter’

Grew up about a mile away from where Rose West grew up (long time apart mind you!)

Fred West was in Winson Green at the same time as me and the bloke from Dexys Midnight Runners.

I’ve got the drawers from eric morecambes sisters desk under my desk.

I’ve had telephone conversations with Daniella Nardini and Jimmy Saville.

A friend once had a date with Kate Hudson.

Ice-T once took the piss out my t-shirt.

Steve Cram held a door open for me, I was 8, walked under his arm, my dad got very excited.

I ran the Brampton to Calise 10 mile road race against Steve Cram needless to say he beat me by at least 10 minutes.

I spilt a full pint of Guinness down the back of Vinnie Jones white shirt in the dover Street Win Bar, London.

Physically walked into Naomi Campbell once in Birminghan, knocking her clean off her feet and on to her skinny arse.

I was on the packaging box for the official Pink Panther cuddly toy.

in the past year i have ridden with (and not in mass participation events, a genuine ride) Chris Hoy (he taught me to ride on the track), nico vouilloz, fabian barel and joe barnes (although fab couldn’t ride with his brace on), loic bruni, sam blenkinsop and various other WC/enduro/TdF racers. Loic’s girlfriend is a rather nice aussie girl he met in a university canteen in Cairns – she didn’t know who he was.

in terms of real ‘celebrities’, I’ve got nothing 🙁

My real name is Steve Madden. These are my shops….

http://www.stevemadden.com/

If you see any, go in, help yourselves and say I sent you 😉