Dinner table conversation with my kids…

Things you only do once:

1) Eat your own ear wax.

Swinging on a swing, standing up with Katie Veal when I was 10, look down and tell her I don’t like her shoes. Cue swift knee to the balls and a small boy learning that you never criticise a woman’s wardrobe

Jetwash a bit of dirt on your arm.

(just checked, scar still there)

Touch the glass in the door of a neighbours wood burner when I was about 6 ‘to see if it gets hot when there’s a roaring fire going the other side of it’.

It does, is the short answer.

It’s a skydive for me. Never really wanted to do one before, but I’ll try anything once. I enjoyed it, I think, in the way that women look back on childbirth with fond memories.

Wash a sharp knife barefoot. I was unable to hop after i dropped it.

Touch an electric fence…done it, no urge to do it again

Date a red head.
Mad as a bag of frogs.

Chopping chillies for, er, a chilli; then going for a wee without washing my hands first.

Date a red head.
Mad as a bag of frogs.

Yeah, but you’d be lying to say you wouldn’t do it again. Eh? Nudge, wink? Eh? 😉

nuke – Member
Touch an electric fence…done it, no urge to do it again

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nIlNG4v2Ls[/video]

Watch it to the end. I laughed.

Too old to put up with the “excitement” now.
She was barking.

Commit suicide.

Iolo, you’re a bad man, but that was funny 🙂

Grabbed soldering iron by the tip (the part where you burn the metal) when it was just used … the bloody thing just stuck to my hand and I had to shake it off. Nearly soldered all my fingers together.

Shooting air pistol pellet into my palm thinking it was just a toy pistol. Nearly punctured my palm.

On the scale of 10 both are 10 in terms of painnnnn … 😆

The pain did not register until 2 seconds later.

white water rafting, in may, in the pyrenees with 1 guide to 6 men.
and falling in at the roughest part of the gorge.

Call your wife your ex’s name. What made it worse, we were out to dinner with her parents at the time.
How we laughed! 😳

Just remembered an old one – first week of secondary school and pick a bunsen burner up by the rubber cord.

Yup, it detached and caught fire 😀

Pegging 😯

I would imagine.

Calling your girlfriend by her sisters name in the heat of the moment just before the happy face/noise/feeling moment , she never did see the funny side of it

Leave the locking pins out of a ford d series tilt cab then volunteer to get in to hold the steering whel whilst the vehicle is towed 😳

Put contacts in after chopping chillies and not washing your hands properly.

Stick your fingers in a mouse trap.

Not run to the hill when someone mentions the worlds “lads weekend to Blackpool” everything I hate about modern Britain in one small town. Revolting.

canoe exam at the age of 17 paddling for bloody hours down the river to symonds yat in January, then having to do a capsize drill

When I read the title I thought eating your own ear wax.

That video is very funny.

Lose your virginity.

+1 soldering iron by the hot end. It’s not a pen

Put too much CO2 into a beer pressure barrel and then unscrew the cap to release the excess pressure . The cap hit me on the orbit of my left eye. I can still see out of it, luckily

Deep Heat

Balls

😳

Licking a scalextric track and pulling the trigger to see what would happen.

Start to lean back on an abseil without checking that you’ve threaded both ropes. Either way you’re only going to do it once, fortunately I got lucky.

edit: ps. I kinda like the earwax taste…

Cut chillies then go for a wee

Cut chillies then go for a wee

Edit: looks like I did it twice

Licking a scalextric track and pulling the trigger to see what would happen.

I knew a bloke who put the wires on his cap end and got his wife to pull the trigger !

Cross your legs over while driving to see if you could still operate the pedals like that…

Look up at a cup of tea/liquid you’re holding high up, and tilt it to see what liquid looks like when it’s coming out of something.

I was 6 at the time and got wet.

Touch your rotor at the end of an Alpine descent to see if it’s hot. It think that’s the first bike one 😯

Pay £150m for a Picasso

Alongside putting deep heat on your scrote!

Be born.

Shave your eye brows, it never looks good.