Mrs J has just started a new job. Unfortunately her neighbour is a cyclist who pedals into work and without taking a shower sits down at his desk sweating and stinking away. What can she do? I made the usual useful suggestions about bombers and shoes but was judged unhelpful.

“oi, you smell, go get a shower”

Lift doesn’t need to be complex.

If she doesn’t feel comfortable speaking to him about it, she could speak to her supervisor and get him to deal with it. After all it’s their job.

Leave a can of deodorant on his desk. He’d have to be pretty thick skinned to not get the message.

I suggest a campaign of terror against his desk plants

Stand next to him. Fart.

If the deodorant on the desk doesn’t work try lots of air fresheners.

The colleague is really you.

Hi, nice bike. How long have you cycled into work?
–
Thanks, a few years. I’ve forgotten the last time I used a car.
–
Good work. Shame you also appear to have forgotten how to use a shower.

/handovershowergel

Pine tree air freshener barrier hanging from the ceiling a la Se7en between the desks?

Hazmat suit

Tricky one at the best of times let alone in a new job. I’d probably endure it for a couple of weeks (to see if other colleagues mention it and not to be seen raising issues on day one) then have a word with your supervisor. I wouldn’t go down the route of leaving deodorant on the desk, especially in a new job…

Aye, just say it. With a smile. Like telling off a farting puppy, perhaps tickle under his chin or something.

Our HR manager a few jobs back used to send out an email at the start of summer reminding people to wash and use deodorant, so I suggest she talks to HR.

Wear suitable gas mask, only when they arrive on the room.

“oi, you smell, go get a shower”

Lift doesn’t need to be complex.

True, but being that blunt (depending on how sensitive the recipient is) could add complexity down the line.

A new fashion for the office?

stick a biohazard sticker on their desk?

Buy him some new cycling tops. I change mine when they’re used and they don’t smell. However, some of those left hanging in our changing rooms are radioactive! The stench of B.O. coming off them – I couldn’t wear them in that state! How do folk not smell it??

I would have thought by now your wife has amassed life skills, aaaaaand the ability to converse and communicate with humans.

Try language, try the English language.

Failing that use this..

Is there even a shower to use? My employer (350 staff, supposedly environmentally friendly) won’t install one. I’ve often thought about doing the 15 miles each way trip and dumping sweaty lycra on the bosses desk. So in 7 years I’ve commuted by bike once…of a weekend so as not to offend. And I don’t actually have smelly sweat either.

choking hazard

😆

bombers
wee in his shoes
sudocream his cat*

(* if he brings it in**)

(** if he has one)

Lift doesn’t need to be complex

I think you’ll find that actually, in this day and age, life is very complex.

Probably one of the manky bastards on here who only does a washing load once a week or fortnight.

I test drove a new car on Saturday. The salesman was polite and well dressed, but absolutely stank of stale sweat. Didn’t enjoy the test drive (car was nice, smell was not) and took the short option back.

I commute 15 miles and don’t shower. Just wash and change in disabled loos.

You don’t start stinking as soon as you get sweaty. Any BO smell is from sweat that’s left there stagnating long enough for bacteria to start growing.

HoratioHufnagel – Member
You don’t start stinking as soon as you get sweaty. Any BO smell is from sweat that’s left there stagnating long enough for bacteria to start growing.

+1 – does he actually smell or is she just being over sensitive?

I used http://nooffenseoranything.com/bodyodor.html for a similar situation. Otherwise a email from a anonymous source of your own writing.

Leave some kippers, a plastic turd and a picture of a dead skunk in his drawer.

Not all at once, draw it out a bit.

Steal his bike

Make him a coffee with instant. That’ll teach him.

Its her managers job to deal with it, not hers. It comes with the territory and I have had to do it in the past, not pleasant. Manager needs to grow a pair and explain that he/she has noticed the issue etc then manage it to resolution.

write to your MP using this as another example of the scourge of the entitled MAMIL cyclist.

Lift doesn’t need to be complex

..unless they’re being used to tunnel Jews out of Germany, then they can be pretty complex

It’s ok, I’ve got my coat

I would have thought by now your wife has amassed life skills, aaaaaand the ability to converse and communicate with humans.

I tend to find that age is very often not the primary agent for amassing such skills.

I’m 50 and still struggle daily. Coming from a family of piss-poor communicators one tends to spend the greater part of adulthood trying to undo what was instilled in formative years. So at half a century I hope soon be getting back to square one…

Spray the offender with Febreze.

Boring answer but we had something similar in our office and the team leader sent an email around to everyone about tidy desks, looking professional and personal hygiene i.e. the person got a nudge to change their habits but wasn’t singled out.