Can i just say that this is my new favourite “news” story of all time!

I’ve been laughing so hard in the car listening to it unfolding on the radio that other people think i’ve lost the plot (they are probably correct)

And of course, as other have mentioned, where does one draw the line? Many years back a girl i shared a house with very nearly removed my eye with a stick of celery! Perhaps from now one all celery should be fitted with rubber “safety” caps like this:

😉

I have to say this thread is simply crying out for some flapjack related puns.

Sounds like the caterers are using Ankh Morpork dwarves to create war flapjacks!

A little less baking and the come out softer when cool.

DrP

From wikipedia;

its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away

sounds like ideal school dinner material, tbh.

Surely circular flapjacks are the answer; no corners? Or would their frisbee like shape make them better projectiles??

Round flapjacks? You’re getting dangerously close to florentine petit fours territory there….

The square ones with corners dipped in depleted chocolate are my weapon of choice in a tight corner.

@thelostboy – circular flapjacks are clearly the most dangerous as they have an infinite number of corners (triangle = 3, square = 4, pentangon = 5 etc)

What we need is the two sided flapjack

I wish someone would risk asses our kids not being exposed to enough risks.
Oh hang on, they did…
http://www.hse.gov.uk/entertainment/childrens-play-july-2012.pdf
.
.
(Summary: the Health and Safety Executive say we should expose kids to more risk.)

I have to say this thread is simply crying out for some flapjack related puns.

It’s oatally outrageous.

Careful, I have a feeling that this thread will be rolled over and come to a sticky end.

Who throws a flapjack? That’s where it starts, but I can tell thee where it ends: That’s a criminal in the making.

As far as i can tell, although the recent confirmation of the Higgs Bosun (sic) may have possibly shed new light on the subject, Flapjacks only ,fortunately, exist in basic 3d geometery. The thought of their possible pan-dimesional impact across fractal and inter-dimensional time and space is beyond worrying………

You gotta love the comment:

A spokesman for the Health and Safety Executive said: “We often come across half-baked decisions taken in the name of health and safety, but this one takes the biscuit.

America has states arming teachers in schools. UK a school bans flapjacks as someone got an owee.

I can’t help thinking this is a bit if an early April fool.

To quote the news article

A spokesman for the Health and Safety Executive said: “We often come across half-baked decisions taken in the name of health and safety, but this one takes the biscuit.

Edited: Just seen that “b r” has already picked up on this quote

Shudders in fear at a future ripe with weaponised vegetables….

Too late, my friend, too late…

before you know it they’ll be sharpened potatoes and blood will be spilled…

Nah, sharpening them’s no good, they won’t fit properly down the barrel:

http://potato-spud-cannon-gun.blogspot.co.uk/