…via blunt force trauma, about a week ago.

I honestly cannot recommend my latest mountain biking injury. Circumstances are innocuous.

Trail centre. Rear shock diagnosed as leaking. Ride aborted and resorting to gentlest route down the hill to the on-site bike shop. Three pedal strokes from standstill on flat land with weight forward to avoid loading the shock.

Pedal strike

Ground strike

Undercarriage strike on stem/bars

In the ensuing carnage, I could only discern the amplitude of pain and could not rightly assess where the damage had been delivered. Getting disentangled from the bike was a genuine challenge. Getting upright and hobbling to the nearby car park was challenge #2. As the sensations resolved, the damage felt to be a severely traumatised hip joint. A&E. X-Rays to discount a broken pelvis.

A week on, the hip joint and pelvis are traumatised but intact. The nethers, less intact and more than traumatised. Violated. Bruising beyond conceivable. Unlikely to be participating in conceivable events.

This thread will not be augmented with pictures.

Oh shit. Sounds horrific. Sincerely hope you fully recover. What are the chances? You keeping the boys for now?

[/url]thread_needs_pics_198 by Phillip Dalton, on Flickr[/img]

Ouch!!

Rachel

that sounds nuts.

Unlikely to be participating in conceivable events

I see what you did there 😯 8)

I hope the recovery is quick and complete!

smashing your gentlemen bits into the bike hard enough to make them think you’ve got a broken hip or pelvis!

Chapeau.

I once had the misfortune where someone shared a selfie of his post-vasectomy trauma! Reckon the surgeon must have used a mangle 😯

I take it swollen is not a term you are currently happy about….

The problems go as far as…
not for the squeamish

Jesus christ man! If we can still call you that? 😯

I feel your pain, and unfortunately I really do mean that! I got caught behind the saddle a few weeks ago as the bike came to a sudden unexpected stop, normal colour and size has just about returned, but the first 10 days were agony

I’m not clicking on that!

Can I refer you to the easter eggs in Tesco thread?

I have the strangest….
You have the strangest….

Must.Not.Click…

I suffered a similar incident that involved landing on my bike with one end of the handlebar positioned squarely at the base of my er “trunk”. The bruising that followed was ridiculous. The doc explained the reason my sack resembled an aubergine was because the blood drops with gravity and pools wherever permitted. Tracky bottoms no undercrackers was the order of the day. I have pics!
Another time I fell about 15ft landing astride a inch-wide metal bar once again I produced ripe aubergines

I’ve still managed to produce a family so fingers crossed for you (it’s not like you can cross your legs)