What's going to happen to you when you die?

Inspired by the “What music for your funeral?” thread, what are your plans for your cadaver after you pop your clogs?

I’ve told my wife that as I’ll be dead I don’t really give two hoots what she does with my body once I’m gone. But, if was to choose, my first preference would be to find a local rocket club and see if they can launch my ashes (or at least a spoonful of them) into space*. A trajectory out of the solar system would be ideal, but I’d settle for getting dragged in by the gravity of the moon or one of the other planets and burn up on entry. I’m guessing (having not researched it yet) that getting out of earth’s gravity well is beyond a bunch of rocket hobbyists, but that’s Plan A. Plan B is to donate the body for medical science – for student doctors to carve up, for example. Plan C is to dump scatter my ashes somewhere scenic, possibly at sea. Plan D is just dig a hole in the back garden and dump me in it (it’s apparently legal here, we have a huge garden and there are no foxes to dig up the corpse…)

*Once all the useful bits have been excised for donation.

My five-year-old son recently pointed out a graveyard as we drove past, and commented that that’s where dead people go. We said yes, some people get buried, others get cremated and relatives can keep their ashes or put them somewhere nice. He asked what would happen to him when he died, and we said he could choose.

Straight away he said he wants to be cremated and have his ashes put in a snow globe with a dragon on a mountain, and flashing lights underneath 😀

So, what are your plans for your remains?

don’t really give two hoots

The wall of text that follows this statement rather suggests you do.

….which of course there is nothing wrong with.

I love the snow globe idea 😀

I ticked the ‘use whatever the hell you want’ box on the organ/medical science donation form.

I can either rot in the ground, get recycled in other people, or have a bunch of medical students laugh at my cock. 😆

Either way, I’ll be dead so I can’t see me caring much.

Well it’s not like I’m going to know or care what happens to my body after I’m dead. Bit like my credit card bill.

Cremation. Then nothing.

I wish for my Ashes to be made into a diamond, cut and set into a necklace with a long plunging chain and then given to Susie Dent.

Sky burial – let the red kites in the chilterns picking over my carcass

I wondered whether this thread had been inspired by the Netflix show, “The Discovery”.

I had planned on giving my eyes to Stevie Wonder.

Just don’t burn me. Being fighting fires for 26 yrs it’s not going to get me at the very end.

Snow Globe for me!

I’m donating my remains to science. Inspired by the Billy Connolly documentary.

I’ve also told my mrs that if she spends thousands on funeral costs and caskets I’ll haunt her. Put a few grand of what I leave behind behind a bar and all have a good drink on me.

yeah wicker casket. & the difference behind the bar.
You’d be surprised how much ashes they give you for a relative after a cremeation, there’s loads!

Signed my broken n’ abused body over to medical science a few years ago, when your dead……your dead and the idea of burying a body in a coffin is pointless. You don’t need to visit a graveyard to remember those you loved

If theres anything of any use to anyone (extremely doubtful) then they can have that. Other than that you can chuck me in a skip out the back of Tesco for all I care

i want to swim with the fishes[/url].

or have a bunch of medical students laugh at my cock

That’s happened to me in my life (it was a cold day, okay?)

I’d like every bit of me that’s of any use to be used. I’ve issued instructions that, should any of my family refuse permission for organ donation, I will come back to haunt them, and I’ll haunt them good…

There can’t be anyone of my age who watched Blue Peter in the glory days of the early to mid 70’s and doesn’t want a Viking funeral 🙂

Not fussed, as long as someone deletes my internet history. 🙂

Your son is wise before his years. I was in the burn me camp and chuck me about the place but now, well;

cremated and have his ashes put in a snow globe with a dragon on a mountain, and flashing lights underneath

This please.

I’ve left strict instructions that my my mortal remains are to be handed over to a taxidermist.

I’m to be stuffed and mounted on the end of the sofa, posed with the remote control for the TV, as a constant reminder to my wife of our marital vows.

Let’s see her move somone else in then……….

I have made it known on several occasions to all those around me that they can give any last bit of me away to medical science that they care to use (yes I am fully up to date on the donor register – don’t forget to do it people[/url]).

An ex once said that she would donate everything but her eyes as she’d need those to see in the afterlife. She didn’t understand my argument that if she needed eyes she would kinda need her vital organs too 🙂

Chop up and donate the bits definitely. After that, don’t care and won’t care as I’m dead.

Unless someone proves that you can be resurrected in the future from your remains, or maybe Futurama style using your head.

Woodburner.

I’m being dried and seasoned first, obviously.

The initial plan was to be be cremated, with my ashes to be placed in the ashtrays of some of my favourite pubs, just before closing time.

Donate my organs and cremate the rest. I kind of fancy an open pyre in the Hindu tradition. As someone for whom that’s half my heritage – it appeals, especially ironic since I’ve followed so few of its precepts in life…

I wish for my Ashes to be made into a diamond, cut and set into a necklace with a long plunging chain and then given to Susie Dent.

Or you could have your ashes used to seed pearls and get them made into a necklace?

Give away any useful bits.
Bury in a cardboard box under a young tree.
Rot and give a little bit back to the planet.

I’d like my ashes to be scattered from the top of Mount Keen during a Westerly gale. Some tiny part of me might get to Norway, a place that impressed me.

Recycle as much as possible and then bury me. I want to melt back into the earth, feed the worms… I want my energy to be converted into more life rather than being incinerated and going up a chimney.

And have you seen what they do to the remains to make them into that lovely silky grey tilth that they put in the urn? It’s not pretty!

I know I’ll be dead, but I don’t want the body that’s carried me for the thick end of a century to be subjected to such violence!

This thread is a whole lot funnier when bum and burn look much the same on my monitor 🙂

I’m in the “use whatever you can and do whatever you like with the rest” camp.

slowoldgit – Member

I’d like my ashes to be scattered from the top of Mount Keen during a Westerly gale. Some tiny part of me might get to Norway, a place that impressed me.

The downside with this is that a far larger proportion of you will probably end up in Aberdeen…

I will be coming back as a beautiful leopard.

Reincarnation is real isn’t it?

Cremation then sprinkled vigorously in Chichester Harbour off the Club beach.
Then I’ve got a seat/bench planned to be made, with my initials and a small message to be inscribed on. This will join the other few that adorn the Club veranda.
All taken care of in my Will.

I want to be cremated and my ashes distributed from a hot air balloon over my home town.

But then, that’s just me all over.

–

Get my bones stripped clean by some ants with big ole mandibles, then get my skeleton set up in a coin operated automatron… when a coin is inserted, I’ll cackle some crazy catchphrases from beyond the grave and every now and again let out a well amplified fart.

DILLIGAF

Mmmn, might need a conversation with the wife tonight now.
I want to be a snow globe!
However, in a more sensible world, if I go first then I’d rather she got rid of me however works best for her. I’ll be dead and couln’t care less. She may want to bury me, wear a black veil and lay flowers on my grave everyday (highly unlikely) or scatter my ashes somewhere that means something to her/us/me or just stick me in a tub at the back of the garage to be sorted later.
Whatever helps her and the children to cope/grieve/remeber/move on.

DILLIGAF

Dignified Interment, Lotsa Lilys, International Gay Adventure Funeral?

Organ donation – hopefully as much of possible can be put to good use.

I struggle why there’s isn’t default organ donation TBH.