#TOTW Weirdest (unintentional) destructive stuff your kids have done

As a young boy (maybe 6) I was given a fishing rod for my birthday. One Saturday I persuaded my mother to take me to the tackle shop to get some bait. Live maggots were the recommended bait du jour. On the way home (despite being told not to open them) I opened the carton spilled the whole lot down the back of the seat….

You can imagine the outcome a few days later… flies, hundreds and hundreds of them….

In the 70s when large dried flower arrangements were all the rage, I was sat on a chair in the front room casually playing with my stepdad’s lighter.

The arrangement on the window sill behind me went up like a spectacular flaming mushroom cloud. I still remember mum and her mate’s faces who were chatting on the drive.

Before I was school age my Mum left me for the day with a friend who had a daughter my age.

At some point we were set up with paint, brushes and paper whilst the Mum of the house went about cleaning the house.

Obviously, painting on paper gets a bit boring after a while … and as we all know pre-schoolers manage to mix the paints together. Well, Naomi and I observed at some point that the mix of paint resembled the colour of the Incredible Hulk so we thought it would be fun to paint ourselves to look like the Hulk.

Once we were transformed and had named ourselves Mr and Mrs Incredible Hulk we headed upstairs to show off our new look to Naomi’s mum. Obviously, when you’re that age you need to put one hand on the freshly painted white wall as you walk up the stairs, don’t you?

Never could understand why she was so upset with us. Some people just don’t appreciate artistic talent.

One that springs to mind, driving on the motorway heading on holiday somewhere when number 1 son declares he needs a wee and can’t hold it (probably 5 at the time), miles to the next junction or services so my wife decides she’ll swivel round and hold a coke bottle for him to wee in. I did try to warn her that I’d struggle to aim that well let alone a 5 year old boy, however she was convinced that ‘it’ was only little and it would be fine. Cue the Trevi fountain in the back of the car all over my wife and his very disgruntled sister sitting next to him!

Last night whilst boy1 (10 yrs) was taking a dump boy2 (8 yrs) decided to flick a towel at him.

Despite the stationary target the county tennis champ missed, but did connect with the nice shaving mirror, which then shattered in the sink. In the process knocking a hole through said sink.

We have just accepted an offer on our house.

Previously boy1 (then 6yrs) helped me fix my carbon mountain bike by hitting the top tube with a hammer. I know he was helping me fix it because he told me.

Widening the search my mate’s brother took his car to the garage because the vents in the dashboard didn’t work. The garage gave him 2 carrier bags full of pens that my mate’s nephew had inserted.

but did connect with the nice shaving mirror, which then shattered in the sink. In the process knocking a hole through said sink.

Our daughter did the same by playing with the blind that knocked the mirror into the sink and broke the sink. Almost worse though was that the mirror didn’t break; we replaced the sink, put the mirror back, then two days later the wind blew the blind and knocked the mirror into the sink again. Luckily the sink didn’t break this time (phew!) but we did get rid of the mirror.

Youthful destructiveness on the part of the daughter, idiocy on the part of the parents 🙂

In the mid eighties, my little sister (about, maybe 8 or 9 years old) decided she didn’t want her cheese and tuna pitta bread – and so left it under her bed, and promptly forgot about it.

Fast forward two weeks, when a large writhing ball of maggots was eventually discovered where it used to be.

To teach my little sister a lesson, my mum made her carry the lump of maggoty stuff to the bin with a small coal shovel. My sister was screaming with revulsion from the moment it was on the shovel, along the landing and half way down the stairs, when I though it would be utterly amusing to leap out at her and go “BOO”. This made her jump. A lot.

After that, the maggots were all over the floor, down the stairs, and – of more pressing concern to my sister – all over her hair and down her neck. In her pockets…

I really was/am a complete b**tard.

We need an update on the fate of this tumble drier @tomd !

Facebook market place. Free if collected today. Like flies to shite.

In all seriousness we cleaned it up. Resigned to the fact of we got a new one it would only happen again.