Two men walk into a bar. …

Two men walk into a bar, the first one says “I’ll have h20” the second man says “I’ll have h20 too”

The second man died.

😆

Englishman and Irishman walk into a bar

Barman says “is this some sort of a joke”.

Dyslexic man walks into a bra….

Shakespeare walks into a bar.

Barman says, “Get out, y’bard”

I know a joke about UDP. But I don’t know if you’d get it.

I’ve started making beer.

It’s dead easy, you just pour root beer into a square glass.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

This neighbourhood’s getting worse. Only last week, two crows were arrested for attempted murder.

Polar bear walks into a bar and says ‘I’d like a….’

Why the big pause?

A man walks in to a bar with a slab of tarmac on his shoulder…

A pint for me and one for the road.

I know a joke about UDP. But I don’t know if you’d get it.

That really is shocking.

Two scientists are chatting, one says ‘I’ve invented a pair of underpants that stay at -273 degrees. The other says ‘That’s absolute bollocks’

I was going to tell a chemistry joke about sodium but I just thought “Na”

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, those who don’t and those who didn’t realise this was a trinary joke.

Hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero!

He’s 0K now

A super-conducting magnet walks into a bar.
The barman says “Oi! Get out, I barred you last night”
The super-conducting magnet leaves without putting up any resistance…

I could tell you a joke about oil, but it’s a bit crude.

A man walks onto a bar and says ouch

A man walks onto a bar and says ouch

Was it a metal bar?

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, those who don’t and those who didn’t realise this was a trinary joke

Ternary.

Brunel gets hammered in a bar one night and misbehaves.

Next day he walks in looking rather sheepish and says ‘Can I come in or Isambard?’

Two pieces of tarmac walk into a bar, the one notices a piece of blue tarmac in the corner, he turns to his mate and says”don’t mess with him, he’s an absolute cycle path”

A white horse goes into a bar and asks for a whisky.

“Hey!” says the barman, “We’ve got a whisky named after you!”

“What?” replies the horse. “Eric?”

Skeleton walks into a bar and says “can I have a pint of lager and a mop”……

Two men walk into a bar and start fighting. One throws a prawn cocktail. He says “And that’s just for starters”.

‘pint please.’
Cougar may have slightly ruined this……